Chapter Eleven: "Operation Auntie Goes Viral"
Zoe had started to accept that her life, post-apartment-explosion, had taken a sharp left turn into what could only be described as "beautifully unhinged."
She had also accepted that Aunt Pauline wasn't going to stop turning her life into a sitcom anytime soon.
But nothing—and I mean nothing—could have prepared Zoe for the day Aunt Pauline decided to become an influencer.
It all started with a blender.
Yes, a blender.
Zoe was doing a casual smoothie tutorial for her Instagram—something simple, aesthetic, and most importantly, normal. But just as she hit record, Aunt Pauline burst into the kitchen like a telenovela villain.
"Are you recording, darling?" she gasped, already mid-spin like she'd been waiting in the hallway practicing her entrance.
Zoe froze, holding half a banana mid-air. "Uh... yes?"
Aunt Pauline dramatically fluffed her scarf (which was not a scarf, but a curtain tieback she insisted was "fashion-forward") and slid into frame. "Then let the people see greatness! This—this smoothie—will change lives."
Zoe blinked at the camera. "Ignore her. We're making mango banana…"
But it was too late. Aunt Pauline had taken over. She called it the "Detox of Destiny." She added cinnamon, chia seeds, raw ginger, a splash of pineapple soda ("for pizzazz"), and one ominous leaf from her balcony garden that no one could identify.
"It's giving… earthquake cleanse," Zoe whispered.
By the time they were done, the kitchen looked like it had been hit by a blender tornado, and Aunt Pauline had finished a full motivational speech about "how healing begins in the gut."
Zoe posted it out of exhaustion, assuming no one would care.
She was wrong.
The video went viral.
The comments were on fire:
> "The chaos chef we didn't know we needed."
"That auntie deserves her own show."
"Is the leaf edible???"
"I drank this and now I see sound."