Mirror Crown
Dinner passed in a blur. Xavier couldn't focus on the conversations flowing between them. Every word she said, every look she gave him, felt like a test. He wasn't sure if he was passing or failing, but he knew he had to keep playing the role—Christian Classic, the man everyone thought he was.
As the main course was cleared away and dessert was brought in, Xavier's thoughts became increasingly muddled. His mind raced with a mixture of fear and curiosity, and he found himself silently observing her as she enjoyed the meal. There was something undeniably genuine about her—her laughter, her gaze, the way she seemed so comfortable in his presence. It made him feel even more like an outsider in this world that wasn't his.
She reached for her glass of wine, taking a slow sip, and then glanced up at him with a soft smile. Her eyes lingered on him for a moment too long, and for the first time that evening, Xavier felt a flicker of something real. Could he get used to this?
A strange idea suddenly crossed his mind, one that took him by surprise.
What if he tested how deep his role in Christian's life truly went? What if he asked her something... important? Something that would test their relationship—and his ability to live as Christian.
His heart raced at the thought. He had no idea if this was the right thing to do, but it was the only thing that felt like it might offer some clarity.
Xavier looked up at her, trying to gather his thoughts. The woman, who had spent the evening smiling at him with familiarity, didn't seem to notice the change in his demeanor. She was talking again, but he wasn't really listening anymore.
I have to ask her.
Before he could second-guess himself, he leaned forward slightly, catching her attention. Her eyes flickered to his, and the room felt a little quieter.
"Hey," he started, his voice sounding more uncertain than he intended. "I've been thinking... about something."
She tilted her head slightly, intrigued. "What's on your mind?"
Xavier took a breath, trying to steady his nerves. He didn't know why he was doing this, but something deep inside him pushed him forward.
"I was thinking," he began slowly, the words coming out almost like a question, "what if we... took the next step? What if we... got married?"
The words hung in the air between them, heavy and charged with tension. The woman's smile faltered for just a fraction of a second, her eyes narrowing as she studied him. It wasn't the reaction he had expected. Instead of joy or surprise, there was a look of caution in her expression.
She set her wine glass down carefully, her fingers tapping lightly on the edge of the glass as if to buy herself some time. Xavier's heart pounded in his chest as he waited for her response. He couldn't tell if she was considering it or if she was about to laugh it off.
"You're serious?" she asked, her voice quiet, the tone now heavier than before.
Xavier nodded, trying his best to look confident, but inwardly, he was panicking. Why did I say that?
"I know it's sudden," he said quickly, trying to justify himself. "But I... I want to make things right. I want us to take the next step."
She didn't say anything for a long moment. The silence stretched on, thick and uncomfortable, as she regarded him. Her eyes softened slightly, but there was an unmistakable edge to her gaze. Finally, she shook her head, a sad smile pulling at the corners of her lips.
"Christian, I—I don't know if we're ready for that," she said, her voice soft but firm. "Marriage isn't something you just... decide on in a moment, especially not like this."
Xavier swallowed hard, feeling the sting of rejection, but he wasn't sure if it was rejection of him or rejection of the situation.
Of course. She's not ready. She doesn't even know me. She doesn't know what's going on in my head.
"I didn't mean to rush you," Xavier said quickly, trying to mask the confusion and disappointment that was bubbling up inside him. "I was just thinking..."
"I know," she interrupted gently. "But Christian, this isn't just something we can do without talking about it. We need time. You need time. We both do."
Her words cut through him like a cold breeze. It was as though she had just reminded him that he was playing a part. He wasn't Christian. He didn't know how to be Christian. He was just a confused, scared man pretending to be someone else.
"I understand," Xavier murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I just... I don't know what I'm doing."
She reached across the table, placing her hand over his. Her touch was warm, comforting, but it didn't ease the weight in his chest.
"Christian," she said softly, "you've been distant tonight. I know something's wrong. Whatever it is, we can figure it out together, but rushing into something like marriage won't make it better."
Xavier nodded, feeling utterly defeated. He didn't know how to explain that the "something wrong" wasn't just about him, but about being someone else. Someone who wasn't even here.
"I'm sorry," Xavier said, his voice breaking. "I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just... I don't know what to do anymore."
She squeezed his hand gently, giving him a reassuring smile. "It's okay. You're just going through something right now. We'll figure it out."
But Xavier couldn't shake the feeling that he was living in a world that wasn't his own, pretending to be someone he wasn't, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep the act up.
The weight of the moment settled heavily on him, and all he could do was nod.
The dinner continued in a quiet, tense atmosphere, and Xavier couldn't help but feel like he was sinking deeper into the role of Christian Classic, a man whose life he didn't understand and whose future he had no control over.