Zhan's heart was filled with astonishment at his father's nature and behavior, something he had lived with all his life. If not for the undeniable fact that he was his father, there would be nothing stopping him from questioning their connection. Despite being one of his many children, Zhan often felt like an outsider.
"Hurry up and hand it over, Zhan. I'm starving," Xiao Yun said, extending his hands expectantly.
Zhan took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, his big eyes glistening as if someone had dropped oil into them. To an unknowing observer, it might seem like he was on the verge of tears (Oily eyes). His voice remained calm, reflecting the quiet composure he was known for.
"She hasn't paid me yet, Baba."
Xiao Yun's face darkened instantly, as if someone had denied him something rightfully his. He exhaled sharply through his nose, frustration boiling inside him. He had placed great hope in that money, memorizing the exact days Zhan was supposed to receive his wages as if he were the one working the job himself.
"Oh, so you're telling me you're working for nothing? No benefits, no reward? I've been patient enough, pretending I don't mind you wasting your time at that job. But if it won't even help me in times like this, then I think I won't allow it anymore."
Zhan's heart pounded in fear. His legs felt weak beneath him, forcing him to shift uncomfortably on the ground. The last thing he wanted was to be forbidden from working. The job was his only source of support... for himself and his younger siblings. It didn't pay much, barely enough to scrape by, but it was better than nothing.
In a steady voice, he explained, "She told me, Baba. She said she's waiting for her own payment before she can settle mine. Most of the household staff haven't been paid yet because the employer isn't around."
Xiao Yun fell silent, calculating his next move. His sharp eyes flickered towards the shadows, where Su Luo was lingering. He had a strong suspicion the boy had followed Zhan there, hoping to talk to him. If that were the case, then perhaps there was another way for him to get the money he needed... money he had promised to a widow he was trying to impress.
"And what about that one you're with?" he asked, pointing towards where Su Luo was hiding.
Zhan's heart skipped a beat. If there was one thing he hated, it was his father seeing him with other people. It always led to complications, to misunderstandings, to unnecessary humiliation. He was certain his father would twist the situation in ways he couldn't defend. He quickly shook his head, refusing to look in Su Luo's direction.
"There's no one there, Baba," he muttered.
Xiao Yun narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing his son's expression. He knew Zhan too well....his nervousness gave everything away. Instead of pressing further, he simply shifted his gaze back to the shadowy figure.
"You! Over there! Come out!"
Zhan felt another jolt of fear as Su Luo hesitated, then slowly stepped forward, head bowed.
This was not how Su Luo had wanted to meet Zhan's father. He had hoped to approach him respectfully, through the proper channels, with dignity and honor. Instead, he found himself forced into the situation, his heart pounding with unease.
Kneeling just as Zhan had, he kept his head lowered, running a hand through his hair in nervousness. "I'm here, Mr. Xiao. Good evening."
"Evening," Xiao Yun replied curtly, taking in the boy's appearance under the dim glow of the moon.
"So, you're always with my son? Are you his suitor?"
Su Luo smiled shyly, still looking at the ground, unsure how to respond.
Xiao Yun shifted impatiently. He had no time for pleasantries...his mind was already fixated on his real objective.
"Good. If that's the case, then everything is settled. May good fortune come your way."
"Thanks, Mr. Xiao. Thank you," Su Luo replied with sincerity.
Xiao Yun nodded, satisfied. "If fate allows, I'll give you Zhan. He'll be yours."
Zhan's entire body went rigid.
What kind of life was this? His father hadn't even asked who Su Luo was, hadn't cared to know anything about him, yet here he was making decisions as if Zhan were an item to be given away. Of all the things he had never imagined, this was at the top of the list.
Su Luo, on the other hand, was elated. He had expected a much more difficult process, so hearing Xiao Yun speak so easily about their future filled him with hope.
His hand drifted toward his back pocket, where he had tucked away some money. Meanwhile, Xiao Yun stood, brushing nonexistent dust from his clothes, prolonging his movements to delay whatever Su Luo was about to do.
The night was growing darker, and his mind was already on other matters.
"Here, Baba, it's not much," Su Luo said as he handed over the money he had pulled from his pocket. Without hesitation or pretense, Xiao Yun swiftly grabbed it, nodding in satisfaction.
"Good, good... Zhan, I'm heading out. When you're done talking with him, make sure to lock the door," he instructed.
Zhan could only nod, feeling the weight of his entire body grow heavy. Without another word, Xiao Yun turned and walked down the alley, counting the money with a wide grin, already picturing the grand gesture he planned to make for Cunxin, his widow girlfriend....one he hoped would finally draw her into his home.
Silence settled between them. Zhan remained crouched, unmoving, while Su Luo kept his gaze fixed on him. A sense of deep affection and quiet triumph filled Su Luo....this was the first time he had been acknowledged by Zhan's father. He couldn't help but feel proud of himself for overcoming two significant hurdles. The first was confessing his feelings to Zhan despite his intimidating presence and reserved nature, which made him seem much older than his years. The second was standing before Zhan's father and having a real conversation with him.
Slowly, Zhan stood up from his crouched position and started walking toward the entrance of his home. His movement jolted Su Luo out of his thoughts, and he quickly took a few steps to catch up.
"Zhan, you're leaving just like that? We haven't even said a proper goodbye," Su Luo said.
Zhan turned and looked at him, it's the same gaze he give to everyone his expression unreadable. He didn't say a word, yet Su Luo felt an inexplicable pressure, as if he had been caught off guard by something unseen. For the first time, he hesitated, unable to speak further.
Zhan said nothing as he pushed open the door to their house, which was already on the verge of collapsing from wear and tear, and stepped inside, shutting Su Luo out.
A deep sigh escaped Su Luo's lips. He loved Zhan....more than he could measure. Even though he knew he was considered strikingly handsome, even by his own friends' standards, Zhan's allure was something else entirely.
"Hmph. Su Luo, forget about that boy. Just because he comes from a poor household doesn't mean he's someone you should waste time on. Boys like him know that their looks are their only asset. Despite their poverty, you'll always find some wealthy man or woman eager to scoop them up. And besides, his mother's side of the family is supposedly rich—no one really knows why he's stuck in this kind of life."
He had heard similar remarks from his friends countless times. But his response was always the same:
"In life, you take risks. If you never make a move, you'll never win. Just let me try my luck."
With that thought, he exhaled deeply and turned to leave the alley, feeling that, even if just a little, he had taken a step toward winning Zhan's heart. And he hoped, one day, that victory would be even greater.
🔸▫️▪️🔹
The courtyard was shrouded in darkness, with not a single lamp providing light except for the faint glow seeping through the curtains of Mama Fenghua's room, as she was commonly called. If not for the mercy of the moonlight, anyone with poor eyesight would have stumbled over the scattered pots and clutter spread across the yard....remnants of Fenghua's nightly food business. This was her routine: after finishing her work for the night, she would retreat to her room, counting her earnings and making plans for what to buy the next day. Once she had fed herself, her children, and her husband's other children who are lucky, she would stash her money beneath her pillow, lie down, and fall asleep instantly.
Most of the cleaning was left to Zhan. Every morning, after waking up at dawn, he never went back to bed. Instead, he tidied up the house, bathed his younger siblings, and prepared for school in his worn-out uniform before heading out.
Letting out a sigh, Zhan carefully stepped over the scattered dishes, making his way toward their room, where he could see a faint light flickering. He was certain it came from the oil lamp he had created it himself, but he couldn't help but wonder where they had gotten the money for more oil. His chest tightened with concern as he reached the door.
Knocking lightly, he pushed aside the curtain and stepped inside. Nearly ten of them were huddled together on a single thin mat, which they all shared as a bed. Even without looking at their faces, just their frail bodies spoke volumes about the neglect and hardship they endured. They were in desperate need of care, their lives filled with struggle.
Zhan's gaze swept over them, their expressions devoid of any joy. His eyes landed on Chou, who was lying motionless on the mat. Alarmed, he quickly removed his shoes and rushed inside.
"Chou....is she sick?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.
"She hasn't come out all day since you left, Gege. She has a fever," answered one of the younger siblings, who was slightly older than the rest.
Zhan turned sharply. "Did Father see her like this?"
They all shook their heads.
"Have you eaten dinner?" he asked again.
"No," they replied almost in unison. Hunger gnawed at all of them, but their concern for Chou had overshadowed even their empty stomachs. Going to bed hungry was nothing new to them.
A fresh wave of despair washed over Zhan. What kind of life was this? A life no different from that of orphans—orphans with no one to turn to. Chou was one of the siblings he pitied the most. Her mother's family was nowhere to be found. Their father had married her mother from a distant place, and when the marriage fell apart, they had simply returned her to her family, severing all ties.
"Where's Que?" he asked, noticing her absence.
"She went to beg for medicine at the pharmacy," one of them answered.
Zhan's heart clenched. Without hesitation, he stood up. He despised seeing any of them outside once night had fallen. Que was the eldest among them, barely thirteen...just two years younger than him.
"I'll be back," he said hurriedly, stepping outside.
The exhaustion, hunger, and stress weighing him down were momentarily pushed aside by a single thought: finding food for his siblings and medicine for Chou, no matter how small.
As he walked, his mind raced, searching for a way out of this endless struggle. And just then, he ran into Que, who was hurrying toward home, worry written all over her face. Chou was her closest companion among all the siblings, despite their two-year age difference. Their bond was stronger than the rest.
Zhan frowned deeply as he looked at her.
"Where have you been?"
Instead of answering, tears rolled down her cheeks. In a trembling voice, Que replied,
"I went to get medicine for Chou at Yao's pharmacy, but he refused to give it to me."
The girl's sobs squeezed at Zhan's heart. He had intended to scold her, but now he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he took Que's hand.
"Didn't I tell you not to go out after dark? Don't I have the right to tell you that?"
She shook her head vigorously, still crying.
"No, Gege, you do. But her body was so hot, she kept shivering. I couldn't just sit and do nothing… but I'm sorry."
Zhan fell silent, swallowing down the bitterness rising in his throat. These children understood the struggles of life all too well. They knew the hardships they faced, the gaps in their lives that could never be filled. Because of this, they clung to one another like true family, bonded by something stronger than blood.
After a long pause, Zhan finally spoke.
"Stop crying. She'll get better. But don't ever go out at night again. I don't want you leaving after dark, understand?"
"Okay, Gege."
"Come inside," he said.
Que walked ahead, and Zhan followed behind her through the courtyard.
She went into their room while he turned toward Fenghua's room, silently hoping he would find something....anything...that could feed the children tonight.
Slowly, he pulled back the curtain after knocking. Fenghua was sprawled out on the bed, dressed in nothing but a vest and trousers, snoring away. The room was a mess, filled with scattered belongings. Her children were already asleep, except for Ni'er, who sat on the bed near her mother's head eating.
"Gege, you're back?"
Ni'er's voice held warmth despite knowing their mother disapproved of their closeness. Fenghua always scolded them for showing affection toward each other.
"I'm back, Ni'er. Did your mother just fall asleep?"
"Yeah, not long ago."
Before Zhan could say another word, Ni'er reached over and started shaking Fenghua.
"Mama, wake up. Gege is here."
Before he could stop her, Fenghua stirred, scowling as she sat up. She adjusted her slipping vest and glared at Ni'er.
"What do you want to buy that you had to wake me up for?"
Ni'er took another bite of rice before answering,
"Nothing. Gege just wants to talk to you."
Annoyed, Fenghua grabbed a fan lying beside her and smacked Ni'er with it.
"So, because of him, you had to wake me up like he's some governor's son? If you ever do that again, I'll make sure you regret it!"
Ni'er ignored her and kept eating.
Fenghua fixed her vest properly and turned her scowl toward Zhan, who stood awkwardly, looking like a drowned cat.
"Did you come to pay me back the money you owe? Is that why you woke me up in the middle of the night?"
His stomach twisted. It was clear he wouldn't be getting what he came for. He lowered his head slightly.
"No… but I promise I'll pay you back in two days."
She remained silent for a few moments, irritated, before snapping,
"Then what do you want?"
After a long pause, he finally spoke.
"I was hoping you had some leftover food. The kids haven't eaten anything, and Chou is sick."
Her scowl deepened.
"You do realize your father hasn't brought food to this house in a week, right? And when he does, I cook it, and I never stop anyone from eating, do I?"
Zhan knew she was deliberately trying to provoke him, but he held his tongue.
"I meant the food you sell. Maybe you could add it to my tab...."
"There's nothing left," she interrupted sharply, already turning away to lie back down.
Ni'er suddenly spoke up,
"But Mama, didn't you set aside a plate of leftover rice?"
Fenghua snapped her head toward Ni'er, shooting her a glare.
"Oh? Since you're so smart, why don't you get up and give it to him yourself, huh? You want to act all high and mighty? Fine. From now on, you'll live off whatever your dear father brings. Let's see how long you last."
With that, she lay back down, muttering under her breath,
"These kids eat like bottomless pits. I gave them food during the day, yet they're still staring at me for more at night. They should just drink some water and sleep!"
Zhan turned and walked out slowly, his mind racing. He didn't even realize when he reached the front yard. Just as he was about to leave, a thought crossed his mind.
He turned back toward the kitchen, his eyes settling on the pot of the rice Fenghua had soaked in water.
Zhan carefully drained the water from the pot, letting it trickle out slowly until only the soft rice residue remained at the bottom. He grabbed one of the bowls nearby, rinsed it thoroughly, and then began scooping out the rice scrapings, placing them carefully onto a plate. He repeated the process until he had gathered every last bit. After rinsing and squeezing out any excess moisture, he stood still, watching as the remaining droplets trickled down. It wasn't much....certainly not enough to fill their stomachs....but at least it would ease the hunger slightly. They wouldn't have to go to bed on completely empty stomachs.
But where could he find something to go with it? He knew Fenghua must have some leftover oil or seasoning, but given her foul mood tonight, she wouldn't part with anything....even if he begged. After all, today's struggle wasn't just theirs; it extended to their father as well, the man who cared little for their survival.
Zhan stood in silence for a moment before carefully picking up the plate and heading toward the room. As he stepped inside, all eyes immediately locked onto the food. Their faces, tense with hunger, softened with relief. They had been waiting, hoping for something....anything....to eat.
A deep sense of sorrow filled Zhan's chest. If only he had real food to give them....something warm, filling, and delicious. Something that would let them go to sleep with full bellies, just like children in fortunate homes.
Setting the plate down in the center of the room, he spoke gently. "Let me go find some oil or salt, alright?"
Their expressions brightened slightly at the thought. Que asked, "Did Mama fenghua let you take it? When I tried earlier, she threw water at me."
A sharp pang of sadness struck Zhan, and he had to swallow the lump forming in his throat. Every child born into this house had been thrust into a cruel test of survival. No matter how different their situations were, they all shared the same hardship. Some were luckier than others... those whose parents occasionally brought them small comforts. But even then, it hardly made a difference. As soon as their father noticed anything of value, he'd claim it for himself or demand it be used for the household, leaving little to nothing for the child it was originally meant for.
Zhan remained silent, unwilling to let them see his pain. If they saw him falter, how would their young hearts bear it? Without a word, he turned and walked out of the room.
As he reached the courtyard, however, he could no longer hold back his emotions. Tears pricked at his eyes, and he wiped them away with the heel of his palm. His steps felt heavier as he approached the exit. He had no certainty that he'd find anything, but he had to try....for their sake.
Just as he reached the doorway, he nearly collided with someone entering. Both of them jerked back instinctively.
"Hey! Who...." the other person snapped, his tone sharp and impatient.
"It's me," Zhan answered quietly, lifting his gaze to see who it was.
Shen-ge.
His older half-brother.
Shen was the son of their father's first wife. Unlike the rest of them, he didn't fully live under their father's roof. He spent most of his time away, chasing work and earning money for himself. He never relied on their father for anything... and never gave him anything, either. Years of resentment burned in Shen's heart over how their father had abandoned them.
Author
I will hate him for the rest of my life too, this kind of parent need to be banned for having children. 😠I wrote the chapter but the emotions inside my heart was too much, because in real life somewhere some people are living like this or worse. Even our prophet tell us to pray to be away from poverty... Poverty is a course, it will make you do everything including killing yourself. But what can we do? Not everyone are meant to be rich or wealthy.
Zhanxianyibo💚❤️💛