Sir Fau- Don Quixote is an odd person.
Artorius, or rather Artoria Pendragon, thought so. It was an observation anyone could make, but for even the dense summer child, who only was getting beaten by a vassal of Uther day and night, to realize it was nothing short of extraordinary.
Even so, he was useless. This Sancho had to carry this older bum ass to survive during everything.
Don said he was 17 while he got his cheeks pinched about being younger than 4 years. After that, he kicked him into a tree and had to hunt for food since neither of them knew what was edible in the forest.
Don turned a blind eye to the bear thrown in the pile for his dignity while Sancho was quietly sobbing for the deer. The latter also almost murdered a Saxon before by the way.
'Is it normal for kids to be that strong here? First magic and now brats on steroids… Agh, fuck this place and you, Pedro.'
Pedro is the name the mentally challenged self proclaimed adventurer gave to the possible higher being up there in charge. Needless to say, his originality is out of this world.
"...If I wasn't starving for days, I would have given up on this food and thrown up even if acid was the only thing coming out.", He mutters quietly.
"Sir Don Q-"
"Just Don Quixote."
"Just Do-'
"Don Quixote…"
"Sir Don Quixote!", He sighed. "Even if it's meat barely cooked, has blood still on it and it's weirdly still twiching, you cannot let it go to waste for the deer! His death didn't happen for you to do this!"
The conviction in which Sancho talked almost blinded him. Still.
"Stop making me lost my appetite even more and you're the one who killed him."
"..."
"..."
"Shall we go already?", Sancho quickly escapes.
'Yeah, well…', Turning his head over to the pile of bones, he laughs in disbelief. 'Where is he putting all that meat? Not even my ma pregnant with my brother ate this much.'
It seems like the food chain pyramid should get changed with his squire on top.
-
Thrusting is fun.
The smell of blood is not.
There is no skill to this motion… which is fortunate. The former Faust cannot be bothered right now nor does he think he has some talent.
If the enemy manages to dodge then Sancho is up. A real freak with swords unlike him.
Unfortunately, the dragon also wants to save people and he's stubborn enough to make even the "knight" here crack. Well, Don would have tried either way because it sounds cool.
So here they are, wannabe heroes. Maybe a bit of actual heroes. But, still not enough since…
CLANG!
Whatever sword Artoria got was destroyed by a giant. The bearded Saxon then simply shrugged her off.
BOOM!
'Oh, hey. The kid got thrown too.', At least he was still twitching. 'I reckon he will be up in about a minute anyway.'
Quite the shadow got in his vision. The fucker was somehow like 2 and a half meters. Was Don right about steroids after all?
Either way.
The wind shrieked through the burning village like it knew what was coming and wanted no part of it even as it was used for fuel by it.
That mountain of a man, draped in fur and scars, dragged an axe big enough to cleave horses. His footsteps cracked stone. Every action screamed violence.
Meanwhile, Don cried for his pants. They might be Goku's but he isn't to not piss on them. He shifted uncomfortably and glanced up at the sky as if hoping for divine cancellation. Where is Pedro when you need him?
The surely natty guy raised his axe.
'Okay. Don't die. Easy enough. Just don't die for like... 10 minutes. Or 5. Or 2? Can I get 2? I will give you an eye for 1.'
The axe came down like judgment. He stumbled left entirely accidentally and the blade missed by millimeters, exploding the ground in a shower of gravel.
'Cool. Great. That's fine.', He's only the size of a small barn and swinging a steel door on a tree trunk. 'Totally manageable.'
He jabbed forward with the lance. It bumped against the giant's chest with all the impact of an annoyed goose. The tip bent. The guy didn't flinch.
'Good. Poke the death god. Great idea.', Real tactician over here.
He ran.
The entire place was run down and he hoped for the guy to just lose him, but regardless of how many they passed, he kept being in his back. It was way worse than Sancho's village, was it because the brat had Saxons at breakfast?
'HEY. HERE'S A WHOLE DINNE-!'
BOOM!
Suddenly he had the motivation to run even faster.
More specifically, he zigzagged like a drunk squirrel, flailing the lance behind him to keep the fucker at bay.
It worked. Sort of. The axe carved near-misses through the air, one of them taking a tuft of hair off his head. He didn't notice. He was too busy gasping and thinking about every bad decision that led to this exact moment.
The lance snapped in half somewhere around the sixth dodge. He stared at the jagged stick now in his hand.
'Perfect. I brought a twig to an axe fight. I am going to die with splinters.', He grimaced but didn't stop.
He tried stalling with wild swings, the kind of movements that could only be described as interpretive dance if the theme was trying to act normal when your parents ask you about something you weren't related to at all.
Any second now. Any second.
His legs burned. His arms were numb. His brain screamed now would be ideal for the universe. He barely ducked another swing and heard it. A faint whistle. Like wind slicing something faster than sound.
Steel burst from the giant's neck. A clean, beautiful eruption of blade and blood.
The big man's body went slack. He collapsed like a felled statue.
Don dropped what was left of the lance, clutching his knees.
'Can I sleep now?'
-
A white-haired person whistled and walked around the town while people were being treated even on the streets. He would sometimes open his eyes and use his staff for a split second for almost dead individuals, but didn't bother staying in one place.
His destination should have been one of the vassals' of the former King Uther's home, except now he can't see the Red Dragon. He already heard it from the grumbling child inside her dreams.
He did not exactly predict this situation, but there's nothing fully wrong about it. Fighting alongside actual knights like her brother in name Kay was less beneficial than battling for your own survival… probably.
Now he had even fewer reasons to bother coming here.
So with that, he smiled at the blushing doctor and quite literally disappeared.
A simple flower laid out in the spot he was.
That, of course, was still just something he wanted to add.
The Magus Of Flowers must have a style fitting his title.