Planet Siraxis – Outer Rim, System Delta-81X
Cue epic space-western music like it's the Dragon Ball x Cowboy Bebop crossover we never got.
"Alright, boys and girls, lock and load! Time for another day of cosmic capitalism," Xicor grinned, tightening his gloves as their sleek, battle-worn ship—The Saiyan Fang—entered the orbit of a dusty red planet.
Rigor, ever the serious one, tapped away at the ship's bounty interface.
"We've got a Class-S target: one 'Zuro the Reaver'. Former Frieza soldier. High-level ki output. Wanted dead or alive for planetary destruction and illegal smuggling of senzu beans… off-brand ones, apparently."
Xicor raised an eyebrow. "Bootleg senzu beans? The horror. Man's out here selling Great Value brand life restoration."
Rigor chuckled softly, which was rare. "Let's just try not to blow up the whole planet this time."
Xicor winked at the fourth wall. "No promises. This chapter's budget is looking real fluid."
On the Surface of Planet Siraxis
As they landed in a wild, rocky canyon crawling with reptilian beasts and lava vents, Xicor stepped out, sword on his back, scouter visor on, chewing a piece of candy like he was in Jujutsu Kaisen.
Suddenly—BOOM—an explosion echoed in the distance. A squad of soldiers in Frieza-style armor came running, blasting at a humanoid figure in a ragged cloak.
"Target locked!" shouted one, a tall blue-skinned alien named Tagoma II, clearly a failed clone of the original.
Beside him were other familiar faces:
Sorbet's Nephew, "Moka", trying too hard to look cool.
Shisami's brother, Bashami, flexing constantly for no reason.
And a literal frog in power armor called Commander Croak.
"Y'all must be the comic relief squad," Xicor said, cracking his knuckles. "You picked the wrong filler arc to crash."
The Rival Appears
As Rigor engaged the Frieza squad, a sleek black pod crash-landed nearby. Dust swirled as a tall figure emerged: sharp eyes, spiky obsidian hair, black armor with glowing red veins, and an aura colder than Vegeta's parenting style.
"My name is Caelix," he growled. "I'm not here for your bounty. I'm here to prove I'm better than you."
Xicor tilted his head. "Oh great. A rival. Lemme guess—you've got mysterious trauma, daddy issues, and a tragic backstory we'll find out in, like, chapter 10?"
Caelix's aura flared. "I was raised by gods who turned out to be demons in disguise. My power exists to judge them all."
Rigor whispered, "This one's different. His power… it's divine."
Xicor smirked, "Well if he wants to throw hands, we better upgrade this from Dragon Ball to Hands: The Anime."
The Kami of Siraxis
Just as the Frieza goons retreated and Caelix powered up, the sky split open. Three figures descended, cloaked in flowing dark robes and radiating a sickly divine energy. They looked like twisted versions of the Kaioshin.
Aegor, the False Light – radiates holy energy but manipulates mortals like chess pieces.
Vessara, the Hollow Mercy – pretends to offer salvation but feeds on souls.
Malthur, the Speaker of Ends – controls time and judgment but whispers lies into destinies.
Rigor's eyes widened. "They're… gods?"
Xicor narrowed his eyes. "No. They're something worse. They're main villains with theme music."
Aegor raised a glowing hand. "You dare trespass, mortals? This bounty you seek—Zuro—was punishment. A test of the unworthy. And you failed."
Suddenly, Zuro—their bounty target—appeared, kneeling before them, chains of light around his arms.
"You see," Malthur whispered, "every bounty in this system is just a puppet of our design."
Xicor looked to the camera."Plot twist counter: 3. And it's only chapter 2. I love this stupid anime."
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next Time on Dragon Ball AF: Rebirth of Xicor...
Part 2: Blade, Blood, and Betrayal
Caelix challenges Xicor in a battle that shatters space-time!
The evil gods reveal their plan to awaken the "Divine Spiral"—a weapon that can erase entire timelines.
Rigor makes a choice that might turn brother against brother.
Xicor: "Time to power up and give 'em the ol' Ultra Instinct... Budget Edition."