Absolutely! Here's a refined version of your scene that enhances the pacing, flow, and detail, while keeping your voice and humor intact:
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Adriel decided to walk around the streets a bit, hoping to gather what he'd need for his upcoming journey.
As he strolled through the city, he took in the sights of this new world. It was advanced—so advanced, in fact, that it made Earth feel like a backwater.
He quickly noticed something strange. Unlike Earth, human salesmen were rare here. Almost everything was digital and automated. With a tap and swipe, customers could browse, pay, and leave. The usual noise of haggling and casual chatter was replaced by soft beeps and holographic displays. Still, in some places, the old-fashioned way of bargaining stubbornly held on.
The city bustled with life. Bars, inns, hotels, restaurants, and other establishments lined the streets in neon-lit harmony. As he walked, he spotted something even more intriguing—people exchanging monster carcasses for credits or aether stones.
Apparently, monsters in this world were ranked from Tier 1 to Tier 9, just like humans. Every part of their bodies was valuable, but their monster cores were the real prize. Located in the center of the forehead, these cores functioned like the human aetherix—where their energy was stored. These cores had countless uses: pill crafting, potion brewing, energy refinement, inscription materials, and more.
Eventually, Adriel found himself standing before a massive building: the Central Trade Union.
The CTU wasn't just any place—it was the largest commercial hub in the world. You could buy and sell anything here. From basic groceries to high-tier gear, they had it all.
Adriel stepped inside, eyes widening at the sheer scale and technological sophistication. Holographic signs floated overhead, and conveyor tracks delivered goods in transparent tubes. His mind drifted as he browsed through the aisles, mentally listing his needs.
Weapons, armor, essentials... maybe a snack.
He was still lost in thought when a graceful woman—probably in her mid-twenties—approached him.
"Hello, sir. How can I help you today?" she asked with a professional yet inviting tone.
"I need some weapons and armor," he replied.
"Of course. Please follow me to the weapons section."
Adriel followed her through the wide hall until they arrived at a section filled with weapons displayed on floating platforms. The selection was vast—swords, spears, halberds, axes, daggers, bows, crossbows, whips, staffs... anything a warrior could dream of.
After browsing for a while, something caught his eye.
A katana.
Its long, straight blade shimmered in a dark-blue hue that almost seemed alive. The hilt was wrapped in black leather, and the polished steel guard bore intricate engravings. The blade glinted faintly, as though it held the stars within it.
"This is the Celestial Fang Katana," the merchant said. "Aether-infused for increased cutting power and precision. It's perfectly balanced for swift strikes. The Aetherite within the blade, combined with the fangs of the Celestial Blood Wolf, enhances sharpness, allowing it to slice through nearly anything."
Adriel held the weapon. Light, precise—deadly. It was exactly his style.
"I like it. How much?"
"350 Gold Credits. A very fair price for a blade of this caliber."
Adriel's expression froze. The weight of the katana felt suddenly heavier.
---
Account Name: Adriel Goldhaven
Account Type: Standard
Status: Active
Account ID: 5473-017-GHVN
Last Access: 10-03-5473, 22:15
Total Balance:
394.57 GC (Gold Credits)
2 Grade 1 Energy Stones
---
Life_Contemplation.exe has started
Running Existential Crisis Protocol...
"Why am I here?"
"What is the meaning of life?"
"Do I really need this katana?"
He briefly considered calling his mom and sister for help, but the potential scenario played out in his mind:
---
RING RING
Call Connects
"Hello."
"Hi."
"How are you?"
"I'm good."
"Why are you calling?"
"I need some credits."
"For what?"
"A katana."
"Why?"
"I'm going somewhere."
"Where?"
"Velris City."
"Why?"
...
---
Yeah, no. He wasn't doing that.
With a strained smile hiding the financial pain in his heart, he said, "Sure. I want that one."
"Excellent choice," the merchant beamed, wrapping the katana carefully.
He paid. Smile still on his face. A smile forged from suffering.
As he turned to leave, the merchant called out, "Sir, do you need anything else?"
*BOOM*
Mental Damage: -99 HP
Status: Stable But High Risk Of Internal Death
"Nah, I've got all I need... just some last-minute preps," he muttered, not even turning around.
But then, the merchant spoke again.
"We also have the Shadow Vortex Armor in stock..."
Adriel paused. Against his better judgment, he turned.
"It's designed for speed and agility," she continued. "Lightweight, but durable. You won't be weighed down."
The armor looked sleek and deadly. High-end materials, top-tier design.
"How much?" he asked, holding onto a sliver of hope.
"Just 700 Gold Credits."
CRACK
Heart Damage: Critical Hit
Soul Integrity: 5%
Without a word, Adriel turned back and resumed walking.
"Sir? Are you sure you don't need armor?" she called, still hopeful.
"I'm good. Got everything I need," he said, ignoring the sharp chest pain creeping in.
"Alright. Farewell, then," she said with a polite bow.
"Yeah... you too. Have a nice day," Adriel replied, not glancing back once.
As he exited the Central Trade Union, the first thing he did was:
DEEP BREATH
EXHALE
DEEP BREATH x2
EXHALE
"Man... this place is really stuffy. They seriously need to fix their ventilation..."
For the record, the CTU didn't have a poor ventilation system. It was actually very good.
Adriel wasn't suffocating because of poor airflow.
No.
It was simply the crushing weight of poverty pressing down on his soul.
---
As Adriel walked through the bustling street, his attention was suddenly drawn to a long line stretching toward a wide, circular platform. The ground beneath it was engraved with strange, glowing inscriptions that shimmered like liquid silver. Surrounding the platform were sleek, rune-etched devices pulsing faintly with aetheric energy—he couldn't even begin to guess what they were for.
Curious, he stopped a middle-aged man who was passing by.
"Excuse me, please… what's that line for?"
The man glanced over and nodded toward the platform. "That's the teleportation formation."
"Oh. Thanks," Adriel replied, then immediately began making his way toward the line, his curiosity piqued.
As he walked, he dug into his memory for what he knew about teleportation formations.
Teleportation Formations…
Advanced, rune-based constructs powered by aether, they worked by warping space itself—allowing people or objects to travel instantly between distant locations. They consumed aether stones as fuel, the quantity required depending on the distance of the destination.
Of course, the reason he hadn't thought of it sooner was simple: his past self rarely left the city. He had no reason to teleport anywhere, and teleportation formations were luxuries reserved for travelers and high-level Ascendants—not your average neighborhood kid.
Once he got closer, it became clear that there were actually two separate platforms. One formation handled outgoing travel, while the other received arrivals from various cities across the continent.
---
After about fifteen minutes of waiting in line, shifting his weight from foot to foot and observing the crowd, the sweet sound of salvation reached his ears:
"Next!"
Adriel stepped forward with anticipation.
"Destination, sir?" the attendant asked with a polite tone.
"Velris City," Adriel answered confidently.
The attendant tapped away on a glowing panel beside the formation. "That'll be either one Grade 1 Energy Stone or 100 Gold Credits. Your choice?"
Adriel didn't even hesitate. "Energy stone."
As he handed over the glowing crystal, he couldn't help but reflect on how poverty and him have been friends for a long time.
'It will all get better...It will all pass away'
The attendant nodded. "Payment confirmed. Please step onto the platform."
Adriel complied. As soon as his feet touched the center, something unexpected happened.
---
DING
[ ENERGY SOURCE DETECTED ]
[ REQUESTING PERMISSION TO ABSORB ]
---
His eyes widened. "No—no, don't absorb anything!" he blurted out under his breath, panic rising in his chest.
Whatever it was that asked… he had a strong feeling that allowing it to absorb the formation's energy would end with the guards dragging him out in pieces.
---
[ PERMISSION DENIED ]
---
Adriel let out a long sigh of relief.
Whew… thank the heavens.
The inscriptions beneath his feet began to glow, softly at first, then brighter. The energy moved like a tide, flowing inward from the platform's outer edge to its center. He felt space itself begin to twist, like the air was turning inside out.
"Safe travels," the attendant said casually—just as Adriel vanished.
"Next!"
---
A moment later, Adriel's eyes opened.
He stood on a similar platform, but the environment had completely changed. The sky was different. The air smelled different. Even the temperature felt like it belonged to another region entirely.
Other travelers arrived beside him, blinking and adjusting to their new surroundings.
He tried to recall what the teleportation experience was like, but it was all a blur—one second he was there, the next, snap, he was somewhere else. All he remembered was a flash of light, a sense of weightlessness, and the strange feeling of space folding around his body.
He staggered slightly, placing a hand on his knee to steady himself. A mild wave of nausea swept through him—a common symptom for first-time teleporters.
Adriel inhaled deeply, letting the fresh air ground him, then slowly exhaled.
A spark of determination lit up in his eyes.
"No matter what… I'm going to awaken this system."