Just outside of Tokyo, in an affluent neighborhood, there's a house. Small, only two bedroom, though it boasts numerous high end amenities. Chances are you wouldn't be able to afford it.
It features a sleek modern design, and the best furnishings money can buy. Pretty swanky. Its only flaw is the massive crack in the wall near the front door. The reason for its existence is about to become readily apparent.
WHAM!
A teenage girl stood in the doorway. She picked up her shopping bags and pranced into the foyer.
"I hope there's no intruder here with nefarious intent!" She called out.
She waited. No mad man with an axe jumped out at her. The house was empty, just as it always was. She sighed. She was starting to give up on that dream. She threw her keys on the coffee table and skipped off to put away her groceries.
If it weren't for her healthy complexion you'd assume she had just been in a fight. Her school uniform was disheveled and wrinkly. Her brown hair messy and tangled.
Of course this was her natural state. She was always running late. She'd try to tidy up on her way to school, but then a cute boy or something colorful would distract her, and she'd forget that she looked like the victim of a car wreck.
Her most peculiar feature of all was the sheer amount of junk in her hair. Her hair was in a messy bun held together with a rabbit themed hair needle. Down one braid beads formed the phrase 'Bunny ♥️'. A large bunny shaped clamp, her most prized possession, adorned her head.
The rest of her hair was filled with clamps, beads, and charms, the vast majority serving no practical purpose. It would be tempting to say she looked like a freak, but we don't need to judge, it's not nice.
Groceries now put away, she fished one final item out of the bag. It was the latest addition to her collection, a rabbit key chain. It was bulky enough to function as a murder weapon, but she didn't care. After all it was-
"So kawaii! This will look so adorable next to my collection of bunny combat knives!" She suddenly deflated. "I'd rather have a real bunny. . ."
She stared at the key chain for a time, the joy of its purchase gone.
"I know! I'll see what my bunny group is up to!" She skipped off to her room without a second thought.
The walls were covered with posters of bunnies and teenage heart throbs. There were piles of bunny plushies scattered about. The bed was, drum roll, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr bunny themed.
At this point it would be safe to assume she has a thing for bunnies. Okay it would be safer to assume she's clinically obsessed, but what did we just say about judging?
She hung her new chain on a hook, which immediately looked on the verge of snapping from the weight of its kawaii bulk. She sat down at her computer and logged onto BookFace.
"You have 53 new friendship request rejections today."
That was the first and only notification that greeted her. She didn't skip a beat. This was a regular occurrence. She had no reason to be worried, she had another 2386 friend requests pending. She added another 238 just to be safe.
She only had two BookFace friends. One was her cousin, who was dead. The other was a man simply named 'Fred'.
Everyday at around the same time he'd send her a link that read 'Whoa I can't believe this is you!'. Clicking the link would reward her with a new tool bar. She cherished his gifts, and often wondered if they had a future together.
She went to her bunny group page. A place where rabbit owners would hang out and share pics, and stories about their bunnies. Although mostly they argue about who has the best bunny parenting techniques. It's like a cat fan group, but with more public shaming.
They referred to their bunnies as 'buns'. An abbreviation that opens up a remarkable amount of puns. Something they never grow tired of.
The first few months with the group had been magical. She suddenly had hundreds of fellow bunny obsessed people to talk to! She bombarded them with questions like 'do bunnies like ice cream?', and 'do you ever take your bun to karaoke?'. But one by one they had all stopped responding to her. She wasn't really one of them after all. It had hurt at first, but she couldn't resist coming back. She still got to wade through an ocean of bunny pics.
"Ha Ha That one has a pancake on his head!"
She continued going through the posts, liking and sharing each one. Her eyes besieged by pure concentrated adorableness. Then there were all those smiling faces of the happy bun owners. . .
A gaggle of owners at a bun costume party. A happy couple taking their bun on a luxury cruise. A middle aged man taking his bun to a political rally.
They were all having fun, but she had no bun.
Suddenly she wasn't in the mood for BookFace. She shut the computer down, the screen went dark. She stared into the black abyss for a time, her reflection bearing a single tear.
She wiped her face.
"I know! I'll make curry!" and with that she cheerfully skipped off to the kitchen.
On the way her eyes met a family photo, she paused to look at it. It was a photo of her parents' wedding day. They were standing by the cake, their arms around each other.
Her father looked so happy, grinning from ear to ear. This is something he never should have done considering the horror show that is his smile.
"You really should've gotten braces dad. I know all the kids would've made fun of you, but like, damn."
She often pretended to speak to her parents using the photo. She didn't think this was weird. Let's humor her and pretend it's not weird either.
Her mother's face was covered in a black smudge that would come back no matter how many times she wiped it off. She was glad her mother wasn't here, if she saw it she'd be so mad!
It was her mother who wouldn't let her have a bunny. No matter how she pleaded the answer was always NO.
"It'll bite the mailman!" She'd say.
"No, mom, that's dogs!"
"It'll hack up hairballs all over the place!"
"No, mom, that's cats!"
"It'll plant its spawn inside you, which will hatch and burst from your stomach!"
"No, mom, that's xenomorphs!"
"It'll chew the carpet!"
"Okay that's something bunnies do, but mine will be well behaved!"
These debates would go on and on. It was no use.
She didn't know when her love of bunnies started, she'd loved them for as long as she could remember. If you asked why, she could rave for hours about all the reasons bunnies are the most perfect creature this horrid universe has ever created.
Deep down though, the reason was that, to her, they represented unconditional love.
This assessment wasn't entirely accurate. In real life bunnies can be aloof and temperamental as cats, and cost more to care for than a dog, and cat combined. Think about that the next time you plan on buying an 'Easter' rabbit for your lazy brat children, asshole.
"What was I gonna do again? Oh! That's right! Curry!"
She loved curry. The rice reminded her of fluffy bunny fur, and the curry reminded her of, well curry, because she couldn't come up with a bunny analogy for everything.
"Bunny fur. . ."
She couldn't take it anymore. She collapsed right where she stood. Praying to whichever cruel god would listen.
"Please god, the universe, Cthulhu, whoever! Please, let me have a bunny! Please! It's not fair! I have more bunny love inside me than my body has room for and I can't stand it anymore! Please. Let. Me. Have. A. Bunny!"
There was a loud crack as a shock wave rippled through the house. The air was filled with a sort of immaterial force that yet had substance. Let's call it 'Advanced Force'.
The walls and floors were undulating, giving off an unearthly sound that resembled monk chanting. She wondered if a time vampire had broken in, eager to feed upon her youthful life force. Although she doubted she was that lucky.
The majority of the strange distortions were centered around her bedroom door. She crept toward it.
"If you're here to feast upon my essence, you don't have to be so creepy about it! My body is ready!"
She timidly reached for the door. The instant her fingers made contact the weirdness stopped. A classic horror fake out, the scary music stops, causing you to think there isn't gonna be a scare, but then one happens anyway.
She wasn't going to fall for it, still she dreaded opening the door. After all that show boating, she feared the grand reveal would be a let down. Slowly, she opened the door.
There, on her freshly singed bedspread, eyes a blinking, nose a twitching, was. . .
"A bunny!"