"...you're not eating?" Mom stood at the door.
I was just staring at the wall.
Silently.
— Okay. I'll call you if you change your mind.
The door closed.
In the room
The phone screen was glowing again.
Miyako online.
But she didn't write anything.
I didn't know how much time had passed.
The words lost their meaning.
Just thoughts.
Thousands. Loud.
Fragments of what happened. What is said. And what didn't happen.
Suddenly:
"Miyako: "I saw everything. And it hurts me."
I froze.
In a second, more:
Miyako: "I do not know if I believe you. But I know one thing—I don't want to feel superfluous."
Miyako: "Tell me honestly… Would you be happy with her if I wasn't there?"
I squeezed the phone so hard that it almost cracked.
The answer came naturally.
Kurume: "No. Never. Only with you."
Expectation.
Pulse in temples.
The seconds dragged on like an eternity.
But there was no answer.
Later
I lay there, staring at the ceiling.
Nothing has changed.
But it's changed inside.
She's still around. Somewhere out there.
She wrote it.
So all is not lost.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn't going to let everything be ruined.