I'm seated in my command chair, staring up at the stars and considering what to do next with my Conqueror's Ledger System. Then I see the obvious choice—I have to get some upgrades. The Butcher's Voice graciously presents me with a few new options to experience. I peruse the list, getting that excited teenager-like feeling when she likes the prom king. There are lots of shiny things to pick from, but two in particular catch my eye. "Dimensional Raider" and "Timeless Mind."
"Dimensional Raider" (CL 5, 75M DP)
You gain the ability to temporarily tear through dimensions for tactical advantage.
"Timeless Mind" (CL 3.5, 12M DP)
Your mind retains and processes information flawlessly.
I grin at the screen, running my hand across my abs, feeling powerful. "Dimensional Raider," I whisper, visualizing myself sliding easily through alternate dimensions. Merely considering the possibility gives me a thrill, not a fear. This will truly do it. "But what about 'Timeless Mind'?" I wonder. The Butcher's Voice responds with a sound that is both a laugh and a purr.
"Why not both?" it reads, and I chuckle. That's very typical. Why eat one slice of cake when you can eat all the cake? So I purchase both, and I can feel the strength of the system building within me. It's as if I'm becoming more powerful in this bizarre game that was ever created.
Now, uniting Nolan and Atom Eve is another issue. Their existence was drastically altered once I appeared, so you would think they would share something, right? That's not exactly true. Nolan loves the control I exhibit, and Eve loves and is afraid of me. They are different, but sometimes opposites do attract, and they do have that "Conquest's conquests" vibe.
I call Eve, and she enters as though she owns the place. She has a joyful smile that is saying, "I'm bringing the baby you will adore," and Nolan is staring at her like she is a precious gift I have given him. "Hi, Eve," I say matter-of-factly, sitting back in my chair. "I want you to meet Nolan."
Eve glances at the new... let's call it 'competition.' She saunters over with hips swaying and extends her hand. "Nice to meet you," she says with a grin and a cheerful voice. Nolan simply stands there, their mouth agape as if they cannot believe it. "You too," they respond softly, firmly shaking Eve's hand. The Butcher's Voice is near laughing in the background as it observes this odd meeting occur.
When they speak nicely, I imagine myself a proud parent on the first day of school. "So, Eve, Nolan has really changed," I say as we continue to chat. "It seems like you two could have a special bond."
Nolan scowls at me, but Eve simply smiles and places a hand on her stomach. "Yes," she says, "our bond is... special." She glances over at Nolan, who looks extremely jealous. "We've both been altered by you, Conquest. You've altered us in ways we never imagined."
I sit back in my chair and grin at them with a big smile. "And soon," I tell them, "both of you will have my children. Can you picture it? Two little Conquests causing mischief wherever they go." The Butcher's Voice chuckles as well. That's correct, everyone, I'm going to be a father—twice!
Nolan grounds me, and their eyes are more than just excited. "You can't be serious," they respond coldly. "You're turning us into breeding stock?"
Eve chuckles softly, and the sound echoes off the walls of the command center. "Don't mind it, Nolan," she says softly, reaching out to brush their cheek. "Conquest takes good care of what he owns." She smiles at me with a look that could thaw the chilliest planets.
"Yep," I tell them smiling, "and just imagine how cool it's going to be to see them. It's reality television, only more bombs and less phony angst."
The mood turns serious as Nolan clenches their fist. "I am not an object," they angrily tell me, "and I will not be treated this way."
Eve seizes Nolan's wrist in a swift motion. "Relax," she breathes, glancing at me. "We're in this together. And we don't really have a choice, do we?"
The room falls silent, and their new reality is like a thick blanket that envelops them.
"Listen to me," I tell Nolan, sighing. "I realize you don't want to have children, but consider it. You're still here, after all." Nolan becomes visibly upset, but I persevere in a grin. "It's a means to keep your name going. You always enjoyed that idea of 'conquer and multiply'."
Nolan clenches their teeth, and I fear they will shatter. Instead, they step closer, their voice low and raspy. "You are not my legacy," they spit. "I had a life before you, and I want it back."
"But you're a heck of a lot more fun now," I tease, not realizing the fury burning in their eyes. "I mean, by Argall's blood, you were boring beforehand. You're a fine, strong, hot chick now with a vendetta." I tease, hoping to mend what is broken, but it is akin to pouring water on an large fire.
Nolan is gripping my chair hard, and the room seems smaller. "Don't speak to me like I'm stupid," they snap, "I'm not something you use and discard."
My smile disappeared. "Nolan," I tell them, "you know I care about you. You are... important to me." This is true. You are like a piece of gum that I chewed until it lost its flavor but held on to because it reminded me of the taste.
Nolan turns away, and the flame is weak and tiny. "You care about me?" they repeat, voice gruff.
I nod, attempting to suppress my pride. "Yes, I do. In my own evil way."
Nolan's hold relaxes, and they take a trembling breath. "Then I'll deal with it." They gaze at Eve, who is regarding us with hunger and curiosity in her eyes. "But if you harm her, or the children..." Nolan doesn't finish speaking, and the implied threat is very serious.
"Don't worry," I say, holding up my hands as if surrendering. "I won't mess with you too much, I swear." That's a lie, naturally. The Butcher's Voice is already considering how to torture them, but I know I should promise them something. I need both of them content and willing to assist if I'm to keep my little harem running smoothly.
With tension defused like a dud bomb, I adjust myself and figure it's time to focus. I rise and stretch my arms out like I'm about to dive into a pool. "Okay, I'm going to play cosmic hot potato," I say to them, gesturing toward the sun. "You two, behave."
Eve is obviously irritated, but also a little amused. "We'll survive," she says, motioning for Nolan to sit down.
I step out of the airlock door, and my ship is a small speck behind me as I plummet toward this Star System's sun like a meteor ready to collide. The gravity is like the tight embrace of an angry ex-girlfriend—tight, rough, and a little warm. But that is the idea, right? To get stronger?
As I fly closer, the heat feels like I'm cooking a marshmallow over a campfire—except the marshmallow is my whole body and the campfire is a nuclear furnace. The Butcher's Voice is in my ear, pushing me forward. "Embrace the pain," it whispers, "it's the way to power." I flex my fingers, feeling the heat move along my skin, the feeling oddly comforting. It's like a hot tub after a hard day of skull-crushing.
I float just outside the sun's corona, the heated gas lapping at me like a lion's tongue. The heat is extreme, but not nearly as extreme as the fire that burns inside of me. I am Conquest, and I will show this star who is the master. The Butcher's Voice is mentioning about pain and power, and I am laughing, adoring every moment of this masochistic waltz. Thragg, Battle Beast, and even Allen, if they were here to see it, their jaws would drop so low, you could use their jaws as a purse for your coins.
Ton-618? No, I'm not stopping by today. That's my regular spot, the massive black hole that's like a CrossFit gym for demigods in the universe. But I have plans otherwise. Sometimes you must have a fresh outlook to keep things exciting, like trading in your trusty battle axe for a lightsaber. And, as always, it takes up a great deal of my time to travel to that dark place, and I have babies to create—both figuratively and literally.
When I'm aboard my ship again, I fall onto my bed, as though I'd just completed a marathon while wearing heavy boots. The HUD flashes, counting up my DP like a sadistic accountant. The Butcher's Voice is all numbers today, whispering them in my ear like a sweet lullaby of carnage. But much as I adore accumulating those points, my head's elsewhere—namely on Nolan and Eve. They're the two sides of my dark, twisted coin. And what's more anarchic than combining love and war?
I roll onto my back, looking up at the ceiling. The cold metal of the ship is a discomfiting change from the heat of the sun's embrace. I must confess, the chances of my harem members being together are... intriguing. Watching a telenovela, but with real consequences. Yet it is not just about the DP. There is this... yearning in the depths. It's as if I have a secret key to the world's wildest zoo, and I don't wish to miss one of the exhibits. And, honestly, nothing says "Viltrumite Royalty" more than having a threesome with your top choices.
Yet even as I would much rather simply sit back and let the drama be played out before me, there is this annoying thing known as destiny beckoning me.
The Butcher's Voice softly talks about the excitement of fighting, the cries of those who lose, and the great feeling that comes with it. And, really, who doesn't enjoy a good sense of power? So, I sit up, swing my legs off the bed, and stretch. It's time to go cause some trouble in the universe.
I go to a planet so green, the Hulk would be a pastel drawing by comparison. Everyone native is wearing what I can only describe as 'leaf chic', a notch below my usual 'I'm so powerful I can wear a loincloth and still be in charge' style. They are all in a line together, chanting some jumbled words of Universa before they can realize that I am no queen at all.
"You're not Universa," one of them eventually whispers, his green skin whitening like someone had just told him the sun was made of ice cream and it was all melting.
"Oh, did I miss the memo?" I say, pretending innocence. The voice of the Butcher laughs behind me. "Maybe you're just not worthy of a real warrior queen."
The crowd erupts into screams, their faces open in horror and confusion. They are rabbits who have just spotted a new dog and he is not there to play. I snap my knuckles, and the sound echoes through their impromptu arena. "How about I demonstrate what a true conqueror is?"
Smirking, I shove off the ground, and before I know it, I'm a whirlwind of chaos. Trees break like toothpicks as I swoop through their forests, sending a stream of splintered wood, split air, and screams behind me. Buildings crumble to dust, the green-skinned folk scurrying like ants from an ant farm just stomped by a giant kid in a black cloak. The Butcher's Voice is my own private cheerleader, murmuring nice things about the sweet, sweet DP I'm going to deliver.
During a moment where the only sound is the ringing in their own ears, a single brave person stands up. "Why?" they yell, voice shaking like a leaf in the tempest I've just created. "What did we ever do to you?"
"Because the truth is, I want you to resist. I'm not here for some cause, I'm not here for revenge, I'm here because I want to get stronger. You see to me there's no greater pleasue for me then to feel the desperation of those... who stand against me." I say, my voice ringing out over the din.
The crowd is silent after that, the only noise is the burning of the fires that I've set.