If chaos wore a school uniform and smelled vaguely of mischief and roasted peanuts, it would be Fengye.
Fengye wasn't the type to break the rules.
He was the type to take them out to dinner, whisper sweet nothings, and then run off with their wallet.
His best friend? A boy named Bao, a fellow menace to society.
Same age. Same brain cell. They shared it on alternating Tuesdays.
Every evening, like clockwork, the two could be found sneaking into Wu's Scroll & Sundries, a shady little shop that pretended to sell magical encyclopedias…
But actually had an entire back shelf filled with adult magazines with titles like "Wands & Whispers" and "Potion Girls Monthly."
Fengye would dramatically open one and say,
> "Ah yes, educational material. Look at this spell... ahem 'Forbidden Position No. 69'... very advanced sorcery."
Then came Mr. Wu—store manager, bald, and permanently angry.
> "GET OUT, YOU PERVERTED GREMLINS!"
And every single time, Fengye and Bao screamed and ran like squirrels on fire, knocking over fruit stands and shouting "WE REGRET NOTHING!"
But that evening… something changed.
Just as Fengye dusted himself off after their fifth escape of the week, he suddenly froze.
A sound rang in his mind, like a divine toaster.
[Ding!]
> "Hello, mortal. You've been selected for premium nonsense. Accept system installation?"
Fengye blinked.
"Bao… did you hear that?"
Bao: "Nope. But I do hear Mr. Wu throwing sandals at us again."
Suddenly, the sky cracked. Thunder clapped. Birds screamed. A swirl of cosmic smoke exploded in front of Fengye…
And from it stepped… Loki, God of Mischief, looking like he just got kicked out of a godly poker night for cheating with aces up his sleeve.
> "Sup, kid. You look like the kind of idiot I can vibe with."
Fengye: "Uh... thanks?"
> "You've officially been chosen for the 'System of Divine Chaos™.' But first—Five Questions. Fail them, and I explode your pants."
Fengye, adjusting his shirt: "A little personal, but okay."
Loki smirked.
Question 1: What's 9 + 10?
Fengye: "21."
Loki: "Correct. You are indeed an agent of chaos."
Question 2: What's the sexiest vegetable?
Fengye: "A cucumber. With glasses."
Loki: "Disturbing. I like it."
Question 3: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I throw a brick at you again?
Fengye: "Throw the brick. Love needs momentum."
Loki: "Romantic and psychotic. Double points."
Question 4: If a queen is hot, but deadly, what do you do?
Fengye: "Write her a love letter and hope she kills me kindly."
Loki: "That's either brave or terminally horny."
Question 5: Final question… Want a mountain of treasure or a lifetime supply of bathwater from royal maids?
Fengye: "Can I choose both and pretend it was a noble choice?"
Loki: "YES. YES YOU CAN."
Suddenly, a system panel appeared in Fengye's vision:
[Quest: Impress Queen Alira of Aetheria]
Reward: A whole damn mountain.
Failure Penalty: Instant eunuch.
Fengye turned to Bao, who looked both terrified and fascinated.
> "Well," Fengye said, cracking his knuckles, "Time to flirt with royalty and avoid becoming tofu down there."
Chapter Title: "Operation: Love Letter & Lawn Invasion" (With Eunuch Countdown)
Loki's voice echoed in Fengye's head as he read the quest aloud:
> [SYSTEM QUEST: Impress Queen Alira of Aetheria]
Time Limit: 24 Hours
Failure Penalty: Permanent Eunuch Status
Reward: A Whole Mountain (yes, seriously)
Fengye blinked. "Permanent… WHAT status?"
Loki snickered in his head. "Better start writing, Romeo."
The mission was clear. The reward? A whole mountain.
The risk? Immediate eunuch-ification.
Standing just outside the Royal Garden of Aetheria, Fengye adjusted his half-buttoned uniform, hid a bouquet made of weeds and ribbons, and whispered to Bao:
> "If I die, delete my browser history."
Bao, chewing on a skewer of grilled lizard meat, replied without blinking,
> "Already printed it. Selling copies."
With the deadline ticking and Loki humming circus music inside his head, Fengye had exactly one hour to impress Queen Alira, the most graceful, terrifying, and absolutely unreachable woman in the kingdom.
---
Fast Forward — The Sneak In
Bao: "You have 2 hours left, and your poem sounds like it was written by a drunk chicken."
Fengye: "Exactly the vibe I'm going for."
Bao: "Wait—what?"
They launched Operation: Scent of Seduction with all the grace of two pickpockets trying ballet.
Fengye infiltrated the palace disguised as a cabbage. Yes, a cabbage. He rolled into the kitchen storage, popped out of a sack, and shouted, "Delivery for Her Majesty's heart!"
Then immediately slipped on a turnip.
---
The Entrance That Shocked the Kingdom
Fengye stumbled, cartwheeled across the lawn, and flipped into the koi pond in front of Queen Alira.
The guards panicked.
The koi panicked.
Loki nearly choked laughing in Fengye's head.
Fengye emerged dramatically, letter raised high like a legendary relic… soaked and smelling like fish.
"Your Majesty!" he bellowed. "This is a declaration of my undying fish-scented love!"
---
Queen Alira squinted.
"Aren't you that dropout who tried to auction his homework on the black market?"
"…Art is subjective, Your Majesty."
She narrowed her eyes. "Guards."
Fengye launched the soggy scroll like a javelin before being tackled. It landed in her lap.
---
She read. Out loud.
> "Queen Alira, Your eyes are like twin moons.
Your nose—slightly above average.
If love is war, call me your unpaid soldier."
A pause. Then—a laugh.
A real one. Soft, amused, and royally sarcastic.
Queen Alira: "You're insane."
Fengye: "I prefer 'strategically whimsical.'"
She waved a hand. "Throw him out."
---
[QUEST COMPLETE]
> Status: Success
Remaining Time: 2 Minutes
Penalty Avoided: Eunuchdom
Reward Incoming: 1 Majestic Mountain
System Message:
"Kid… I was this close to making you soprano. Congrats."
---
Fengye, soaking wet and proud:
"She laughed."
Bao, dragging him from the moat:
"You're still banned from the palace."
Fengye:
"But I still have my dignity!"
Bao:
"...You're not wearing pants."