'It's not too bad.'
A cool breeze caressed Hotaru's face as he lay on his bed, yawning and facing the window. The yellow rose in the vase—which had been fresh and vibrant in the morning—appeared more muted and dull under the soft glow of the lamp. It was no longer as fragrant as it had been earlier.
'My situation is better than I expected. I don't need to worry too much, but I just have to be a little careful,' he thought, letting out another yawn. He was tired from everything that had happened since the morning.
Going through today's events, there was one thing that shocked him the most.
No. Not the system.
In his mind, the image of Mikoto kneeling on the floor and crying flashed before him.
He muttered, "Minato, you dumbass."
He had never expected Mikoto to be in love with Minato, and it seemed to have been so intense on her end that she still hadn't let go of it.
He recalled the various things that Mikoto had muttered regarding Minato. It seemed that he had led her on. He couldn't believe someone could be so dumb as to not notice Mikoto's feelings.
Hotaru shook his head. 'Mikoto seems to believe that Minato—who wanted to be Hokage—gave up on her upon realizing the implications of marrying an Uchiha.'
'And she also felt deeply betrayed when he got together with Kushina,' he thought, letting out a sigh.
'This entire situation is so messed up. From the way it sounded, it seems Kushina was never aware of anything.'
"Minato, you dumbass," Hotaru muttered again. He thought Mikoto might not have been too far off the mark regarding why Minato gave up on her.
'If it had been me, I would have waited until I was Hokage and then done whatever I wanted to do,' he thought. 'And I am sure Minato was dumb enough not to think of this. Phew.'
In any case, Mikoto doesn't seem to hold a grudge in any way. For some reason, she remembered him today and completely broke down. He recalled her saying she still loved Minato and would do so forever.
Hotaru took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, contemplating this ridiculous situation. "Love is such a complicated thing."
At that moment, Fugaku's face appeared in his mind, and he felt a surge of pity for the man.
'If Fugaku were to ever learn of this matter, he would probably die from heartbreak. Poor guy. Not only was Mikoto in love with someone else, but she is still in love even after he's gone.'
'Even if not for Aunt Mikoto, I would never reveal this secret to anyone—if only to save Fugaku from falling apart. Sometimes the truth can devastate a person. Fugaku, you owe me big time,' he thought with a smile on his lips.
Hotaru was sure that no matter how much the current world differed from the one he knew, nothing would shock him more than this.
He adjusted his position on the bed, turning to face the other side so that his back was now to the window.
'Well, that doesn't matter now. Let's consider my situation,' he thought.
During the Kyūbi attack on Konoha, Minato lost his life. This much aligned with his memories. However, Kushina surviving that attack was a pleasant surprise. And it seems Naruto exists in this world as well.
He murmured, "If both Minato and Kushina perished during the Kyūbi attack, leaving me and Naruto behind,"—the thought sent a shudder through his body—"well, then I am not sure I would even be alive right now; and that's in the best-case scenario. I'm certain Danzo would have turned me into a lab rat—similar to Karin."
Hotaru shook his head. "No. It would be worse than Karin. Danzo is definitely more cruel than Orochimaru. I would have been living a life of hell."
He was sure of this. "I mean look at me now. Even with Kushina and Mikoto looking after me, he was trying to put me in a permanent coma; already preparing my body to be confined to a hospital even if I woke up. F*ck that guy."
Hotaru took a deep breath, trying to calm his anger. After repeating the process a few more times, he began to feel much better.
"That would've been my fate. And Naruto—well, with Kushina and me out of the picture, not much would have changed from what I know. He would have grown up as an orphan, hated by everyone," he said.
But then he recalled Mikoto once again. "Or maybe that might not be the case. In this world, Mikoto would definitely have intervened. Even if she wouldn't have done anything at first, she wasn't someone who could tolerate the village's treatment of Minato's son."
Hotaru imagined Mikoto standing on Hokage Rock—on Minato's face—and screaming at the top of her lungs that Naruto was Minato's son. This thought brought a warm smile to his face.
If she did that, Danzo would probably die from anger. This thought made him laugh out loud.
"Well, anyway, Kushina being alive is the second-best scenario I could have found myself in. It would have been perfect if Minato were alive as well. But it's alright. I can work with this," he said, his jaw set in determination.
"Although I might be under surveillance because of Naruto, I couldn't ask for a better situation than this. With a strong kunoichi like Kushina, I probably wouldn't have much to fear in the village; outside the village is a different matter, though," he remarked, letting out another yawn.
It's only a matter of time until he gets out of the hospital. He wanted to do something to speed up his recovery, but still it's fine. After all, he is an Uzumaki; he should recover much faster than the average person.
There was silence for some time after this. Hotaru let out a sigh, and his forehead creased into a frown. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about the thing he had been trying so hard to avoid ever since he woke up.
He adjusted his position on the bed and turned to face the window once again. Just as he did, he caught sight of one of the petals falling off from the yellow rose.
'Why does it not bother me… at all…'
He raised his hands and put them under his head, interlocking his fingers and rested his head on it them.
'The System said that I really belong in this world. That I was born here. Born to Kushina and Minato.'
His frown deepened, and his eyes became distant. "They are my parents. Why does it not hurt when Mikoto told me that Minato died…?"
He slid one of his hands from under his head to his side and clenched his fist.
"When she told me that my… father died… Why…?"
BAM!
He raised his fist and brought it down onto the bed in anger, screaming, "WHY?"
BAM!
"Why—do—I—not—feel—anything?" he said, each word punctuated by a hit to the bed.
He unclenched his fist and closed his eyes, feeling a tight knot in his stomach. "He was my father, for God's sake. Why can't I feel anything? Even Kushina, I am only happy that she survived because it's convenient for me—not because my mother is alive. Why don't I feel anything?"
Hotaru's chest rose and fell quickly for sometime, his emotions being unstable.
"Or… is this… just… the kind of person I am? An apathetic and opportunistic b*stard. What would Kushina think if she found out her son only sees her existence as a convenience? Even now I can't think of her as my mother. Just… Why… ?"
Hotaru was silent after that. After some time, his breathing became steady, and his chest rose and fell slowly.
"Tomorrow," he whispered to himself, "maybe tomorrow when Kushina visits me, I might feel a connection toward her. After all, I would be seeing my mother for the first time."
Then another scary thought occurred to him. 'What if I don't feel anything even after meeting Kushina. What do I do then?'
Once again his mind fell into turmoil, and his eyes were clouded with confusion, reflecting the chaos within.
Hotaru recalled what the system told him. 'No, I can't leave this to chance. This is my one chance at finding happiness in this life. And I won't leave it to chance. So, what do I do if I still don't feel anything? How do I solve this?'
For a long time, the only sound was the curtains rustling from the wind. Then, out of the blue, a thought struck him, and he couldn't believe the answer was so simple.
He uttered each word slowly: "Fake it till you make it."
That was it—by continuously acting as if he were part of his family, even if he didn't feel any connection, he might eventually become one.
Although he didn't have to do this, he wanted to; because he wanted the warmth of family in his life. This would be his path to achieving the genuine familial bonds he desired, just as it was meant to be.
After all, it was common knowledge: when you spend enough time with someone day after day, you inevitably start to like them, enjoy their company, and form that cherished bond.
And Hotaru didn't feel bad about employing this tactic. A newborn baby naturally forges connections with its family in the same way.
He would be doing the same—only as a six-year-old.
His mind, which had been engulfed in turmoil just a moment ago, began to clear, and his eyes, previously clouded with confusion, now sparkled with a flicker of determination. A sense of calm washed over him as the idea took root, illuminating the shadows of uncertainty he had been suppressing ever since he woke up.
A determined glint entered his eyes. He would learn to feel, even if he had to act his way there.
"Fake it till you make it." Hotaru repeated. He would hold onto this mantra. This would be his guiding principle for this new life he was blessed with.
Hotaru was determined to fully embrace this life and live it to the utmost.
He felt a renewed energy surge within him, freeing him from the lingering doubts that once occupied his thoughts. His mind was now completely clear, and hope filled his entire being.
Freed from the shackles of uncertainty, the tight knot in his stomach gradually unraveled with each passing moment, leaving him with a profound sense of relief and a lightness in his body.
The moonlight reached just short of his bed, and a cool breeze danced through his hair. Eventually, Hotaru fell asleep. A slight smile was lingering on his lips, as he was looking forward to seeing his family once he woke up.
***
'It was almost morning, the sky beginning to shift into hues of blue, with a delicate hint of gold peeking over the horizon.
'No one was on the streets yet, and they wouldn't be for a little while. The streets lay empty, adorned with fallen leaves that rustled occasionally in the breeze. The air was fresh, crisp, and alive with the earthy scent of morning dew; anyone breathing it in would feel more alive.
'If anyone were out now, thoughts of "I wanted to sleep for five more minutes" would go away, replaced by "I'm glad I woke up to witness this beautiful morning".
'The cheerful chirping of birds filled the quiet morning with their playful songs.
'This was the perfect time to start the day, with the light shimmering like the soft tones of golden hair.
'It was a pity no one was here yet.
'The sunlight spilling over the horizon radiated a gentle warmth, making people recall the golden days of their lives that were long gone.
'In a while, people who had to start their day early would step outside, and they would be thinking, "This morning is so beautiful; if only I had woken up a little earlier, it would have been perfect".
'But such is life. Most people would be late for things and miss the most beautiful moments. However, they also won't start early because why wait for something that may not even happen?'
This passage floated through the masked man's mind as he gazed out at the beautiful morning from the hospital room where he stood.
A few feet away from him was a bed on which a little kid was asleep without a care in the world.
It was the same masked man who spoke to Kenichi, the medical-nin, the previous day to learn about Hotaru's condition.
Kinoe recalled that passage from a book he had tried to read multiple times—one that belonged to his team captain. Each time he flipped to a random chapter, he could barely get through a few introductory paragraphs before his captain would appear, taking the book back from him.
The books were peculiar. The chapters he managed to read always began with beautiful, vivid descriptions, but somehow the tone always shifted to one of loss. The author also seemed particularly fond of the color gold. In this passage there were three such instances: 'a delicate hint of gold peeking,' 'golden hair,' and 'golden days.'
Kinoe shook his head. He was just trying to distract himself from the task at hand with these random thoughts due to hesitation.
"I can't be like this. Danzo-sama said this was an important task. He trusted me to do it," he said in a soft voice.
This mission was sent to him about fifteen minutes ago. The scroll stated that this was an 'A-rank' mission based on its importance and that secrecy was paramount.
When he saw that the target was a patient in the hospital, he was confused. This sounded like a very easy task despite the mission rating. So, it could only be due to the target's identity.
But once he got into the room and saw the target, though the mission ranking made sense, he was flabbergasted. The target was the Fourth Hokage's elder son. The same person whose status he had checked upon the previous day, Uzumaki Hotaru.
Although he—just like any ANBU, not just Root—did many reprehensible things under both the Hokage and Danzo-sama's orders, this was the Hero of Konoha, Namikaze Minato's, legacy.
So, he hesitated.
"Everything we—the Root and Danzo-sama—do is for the good of the village. Things that other people could bring themselves to do, but must be done. I have complete trust in Danzo-sama. I won't hesitate," he muttered to himself, his eyes gleaming with determination. "Danzo-sama must have his reasons for doing this."
He made his way toward the bed, his heart pounding in his chest. A bead of sweat trickled down his brow as he came to a stop beside Hotaru's bed.
"Forgive me, Lord Fourth. We are doing this for the sake of the village. I am sure you will understand."
Saying this, he took a deep breath to steady himself, lifted his right hand—covered in elbow-length black gloves, and metal armguards—and began to slowly move it toward Hotaru's head.
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