Infancy sucks.
I know, I know — in every isekai, reincarnation comes with a cozy little reset. You think being a baby again means free milk, warm cuddles, and no responsibilities.
Wrong.
Nobody tells you about the explosive diapers, the itchy cloth, or the constant tickling from over-affectionate elf moms who giggle every time you sneeze like it's a divine miracle.
But the worst part?
I couldn't talk.
I had all my memories. My sarcasm. My regret. My completely useless trivia about anime thighs.
And yet, every time I tried to express myself:
> "WAAHHHHHH—BWAAAA—"
I sounded like a busted Pokémon.
---
Despite my humiliation, I quickly realized something important.
This world was different.
No, I'm not talking about just the elf waifus. (Though yes, those are here, and yes, they are stacked like cursed temples.)
I'm talking about the sky.
At night, it was purple — scattered with three moons that rotated around each other like a dance. During the day, massive air whales floated lazily overhead, grazing on clouds.
Our village? A small settlement on the edge of the Yuza Wildlands, filled with wooden homes, warrior families, and farmers who treated flying cows like house pets.
No lie. I saw a cow take off mid-moo and disappear into the clouds like a fat balloon.
---
My parents were named Kael and Elira.
Kael — a former monster hunter, known across the region as "Kael the Unbreaking." Dude had a body carved from pure muscle and a voice like thunder dunked in whiskey.
Elira — a former temple guardian, rumored to have been kissed by the goddess herself. She could channel light magic like it was wind, and had that "I could destroy you but I'll make you soup instead" aura.
Together? Power couple.
To them, I was their miracle baby.
To me, I was a washed-up alcoholic in a baby skin suit praying for the day I could walk again.
---
The Day Everything Changed
On my third birthday — yeah, time skip, you're welcome — I was finally walking, talking, and trying to sneak food when no one was looking. (Old habits die hard.)
Kael took me to the edge of the village.
The training field.
There, I saw something that shook me to my core.
Children.
My age.
Sparring. With actual swords.
Not wooden swords. Not toys. Steel.
> "Alright, son," Kael said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "It's time to awaken your lineage."
> "Lineage?" I blinked. "Uh… you sure I shouldn't be playing tag or something?"
He laughed.
Then he handed me a sword.
It was taller than me. Heavier than sin.
I grabbed the hilt with both tiny hands… and immediately faceplanted into the dirt.
Kael nodded proudly. "He's got potential."
I was wheezing.
---
Then it happened.
Kael knelt beside me and placed his palm over my heart. Elira stood behind him, whispering in a language that made the air hum.
> "By the pact of steel and star," Kael intoned, "grant him the awakening."
Suddenly, my chest burned.
A soft light spread from my ribs to my arms, to my eyes, to my fingertips. My vision blurred.
I screamed.
Then everything stopped.
The sword in my hand—
Began to glow.
And I heard a voice.
A whisper, soft and ancient, filled with teasing laughter and power.
> "Ohhh… so you're the new one. You poor, broken thing…"
> "Let's see if you survive me, Sakamoto."
---
When I came to, I was still gripping the blade.
Only now, it was no longer rusted. It had transformed — sleek, black metal with red runes pulsing along the edge.
Kael was speechless.
Elira looked… worried.
> "Sakamoto," she said gently, "you've awakened a Sword Womb."
> "A what now?!"
> "A soul-forged weapon," Kael added. "Very rare. Very cursed."
> "Wait—CURSED?!"
They nodded solemnly.
> "Your journey begins now," Kael said.
---
So, to summarize:
I'm three years old.
I accidentally bonded with a cursed sword that talks in seductive riddles.
I live in a world with flying cows.
And I may or may not be destined for greatness or gruesome death.
Classic.
Welcome to Lucala.