CeCe sat in her dimly lit apartment, her gaze fixed on the laptop screen as a refined voice explained the intricacies of etiquette. It was one of the many self-improvement videos she forced herself to watch, another step in her relentless climb towards perfection.
Today is her day off a supposed rare break from the chaos of her life. But even rest felt like a luxury she couldn't afford. She mimicked the poised movements on-screen, her fingers grazing the rim of a crystal glass with effortless grace.
The woman in the video made it look so easy but CeCe knew better. Nothing came easy to people like her.
Her lips curled into a wry smile as she leaned back against the velvet cushions, twirling the glass in her hand. "How far I've come." She murmured, the thought settling deep in her chest.
There was a time when she had been nothing more than a naive girl fresh from the province dazzled by the city's lights and fumbling through every social interaction. Her accent too sharp, her manners too unpolished—too loud, too eager and too desperate to belong.
And society had been cruel. It shaped her through whispered judgments and pointed sneers, through doors slammed and invitations that never came. But she had learned.
Now she is an image of sophistication. Her posture impeccable, her voice controlled and her gestures measured. She knew what wines to order, what topics to avoid and how to make the right people feel important. Looking at her now no one would believe she wasn't born into this world of glittering affluence. She blended in so well that sometimes she could almost fool herself.
Almost.
But there were moments like now when the illusion cracked. When she caught her own reflection and saw not the polished socialite she had become. She had learned to mold herself like a chameleon shifting to match the people around her, mirroring their desires, becoming whoever they wanted her to be.
Sometimes she wondered if she stripped away all the layers, peeled back every carefully crafted facade who would be left underneath?
She sighed. It wasn't enough. Dressed in designer loans, smiling through unpaid bills, pretending to have it all while barely scraping by. None of it could change the fact that beneath the refined exterior, the carefully curated elegance, she was nothing.
She pressed her fingers to her temple and exhaled slowly through her nose. Did everyone have to fight this hard just to stay afloat? To choose between rent and a decent meal? Between dignity and survival? No matter how much she learned or how well she played the part, she still felt it's not enough.
But she refused to let this be her reality.
She squared her shoulders, grabbed her notebook then click the video to rewind. There's more to learn and master. She would sharpen every skill, perfect every detail because she wasn't giving up. She can't afford to give up!
Then her phone rang breaking her concentration. CeCe frowned as Corinna's name flashed on the screen. It's her younger sister.
″Yes, Ina?"
″Ate..." A choked sob came through the receiver.
"What's wrong?″
"Ate, it's Ope'... His lung collapsed. The hospital needs to operate." Corinna's voice broke. "The money from before—it's not enough for the hospital deposit."
A collapsed lung was a common complication for people with cystic fibrosis. She shut her eyes, the weight of memory pressing down on her as she recalled Cooper being just twelve years old when he was first diagnosed with this illness.
At that time, she just arrived in the City. Her memory vivid as she sat in her tiny boarding house, gripping the phone, feeling helpless as she listened to Corinna crying on the other end. She didn't even know how she made it through that night. The despair she felt knowing there was still no cure for this disease was soul-crushing. The harsh reality of the never-ending bills for daily medications and the mounting hospital expenses they would have to face for the rest of their lives was suffocating. They needed money.
But how are they going to get the money?
At twenty, she was barely scrapping by working long hours as a fruitstand seller in a mall. Then Ms. M appeared offering her something she never considered, being an actress. It wasn't a dream she had but it was a way out. A way to earn real money. And so, she said yes.
It had been four years since then.
"Ate?" Corinna whispered.
"Is Victor—?" CeCe parted her lips to speak but hesitated. Never mind. She knew better than to ask.
But Corinna who is too distraught to notice, still answered. "Dad's still—"
"Forget it." Celeste said flatly.
There was no use asking about Victor. He was never there when they needed him. He was a good-for-nothing who squandered what little money they had on booze.
CeCe clinched her fist. It's as if she were eight again, dragging Victor home in the dead of night. Supporting his slumped, drunken form as he stumbled and mumbled incoherently.
The path was steep and their house sat above a creek, making the climb treacherous in the dark. She couldn't remember how many time she had nearly lost her footing nor how many times her knees had scraped against the rough ground. The edge of the path crumbled beneath her threatening to send her tumbling down and yet each time she found the strength to pull them both forward.
At that time she was so small, barely more than skin and bone while he was taller, his dead weight nearly twice her own. Even so, she had manage to drag him home.
That memory had cursed her for years. So it's absurd that after everything she still felt an urge to ask about him. Maybe it's exhaustion at play so for a fleeting second, she had wished for someone—anyone—to share the weight with her.
But she wasn't a child anymore.
"I'll get it." She said. "Just stay with Cooper. I'll handle the rest."
CeCe ended the call opened her online banking app and stared at it, frowning. A tightness formed in her chest. Something akin to tears welled in her eyes but CeCe steeled herself and inhaled sharply. Without hesitation she sent every last cent she have to Corinna.
She sat in her apartment in utter silence.
For a moment, CeCe's eyes flickered with grief, anger, longing and despair. Clashing in a silent conflict. Then everything stilled as if a battle had ended within her. In CeCe's eyes there was something akin to peace like she had finally reached a consensus with herself.
She then extend her hand towards her phone, her fingers hovered over the screen. For just a second doubt flickered in her eyes but just as quickly as it came, she crushed it.
CeCe calmly dialed a number.
"Ms. M? Can we meet?"
Everything happened so quietly as if what she's about to do wasn't something that could change her entire life forever.
For better or for worse,CeCe didn't know yet.
And at that moment she didn't care.