Aiden scribbled the final answer on his test. Elara hummed like she was polishing her nails.
"Done."
"Obviously. You'll get a 100%. I have open access to all the answers. You're welcome, my flesh puppet."
"That's cheating."
"That's survival."
Professor Eldon collected the pages with practiced detachment. Aiden stared at his own like it might spontaneously combust from guilt.
He sighed. "Elara, what was that voice—"
Then—
WHAM.
Aiden stumbled straight into another student while leaving the classroom. She hit the floor with a surprised "oof!" and a flurry of papers.
Aiden froze.
Cute girl. Bright eyes. Sunshine smile.
Brain? Offline.
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ
In his head, Elara sighed deeply.
🎬 [POP]
"Hold up, I'm summoning popcorn for this. This is gonna be a train wreck."
CRUNCH.
She chewed in his skull at full emotional volume.
Aiden just stared.
The girl looked up, blinking. Her long curls shimmered with magical highlights. She tilted her head.
"Are you okay?"
Silence.
"Are you okay?" she repeated, slower.
Aiden's mouth opened.
Nothing came out.
Elara threw imaginary popcorn at his mental forehead.
[NEW ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: First Crush]Bonus Quest: Get a Date with "The Candy"
"Oh jeeze," Elara groaned. "Her name is Candy? What are you, a rejected dating sim?"
He still hadn't moved.
"OFFER HER A HAND, IDIOT!"
He blinked. Flinched. Scrambled like a baby deer and finally extended his arm.
"Uh. My name is Aiden," he said, voice cracking just enough to ruin his life.
Candy smiled, radiant and real. The kind of smile that made his knees go weak and his wisdom stat feel like a lie.
"Nice to meet you, Aiden," she said sweetly, accepting his hand. "You're kinda cute when you panic."
He died a little.
She walked off with a wave and a little wink.
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ
Inside his mind, Elara was unwell.
"I zoned out for a full 30 seconds and all I heard was dur da dur da dur dur da dur da dur. What even WAS that?"
Aiden winced. "…Pain."
"Correct."
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ
📊 System Message:
+1 to Charisma (accidental)
+2 to Social Awkwardness
+1 to Simp Energy
🎯 Bonus Quest Activated: Win Candy's Heart Before Someone Else Does
Reward: Unknown Penalty: Eternal Shame
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ
They walked in silence after Candy left, well, Aiden walked in silence.
Elara was absolutely not.
"Oh Candy, huh? That's her real name? What is she—your first crush or a walking dessert?"
Aiden groaned. "Please stop."
"Too late! It's already happening. Ooooh—'do you like her because she's sweet or do you just want a nibble?'"She cackled. "What if she melts in your hands but not your mouth?"
"ELARA."
"Orrr maybe you wanna put your nougat in her wrapper?"
"PLEASE STOP."
WHEEZE.
"I swear, Aiden. If you ever get to second base with that girl, I'm gonna start playing a live commentary track in your brain. 'Now entering: awkward flailing and sweaty panic.'"
Aiden's face was red. Entire body? Rigidity of a cursed mannequin.
He didn't respond.
Didn't say anything.
"…Aiden?" she asked, suddenly unsure.
Still nothing.
Just the sound of his shoes squeaking on the hall tile.
📉 System Update:
-2 to all stats due to emotional shame overload
"Damn," she whispered. "I broke the poor kid."
She paused, popcorn now cold in her mental hand.
"…Hey."
He didn't look at her.
"…Have you… not—y'know. Like. Talked to girls much?"
Silence.
Then, soft. Barely audible.
"I've never had a girlfriend."
Elara blinked. Her snark short-circuited. Every horny aunt joke in her codebase fizzled out like a sparkler in a downpour.
"Oh."
She didn't make a joke. Not this time.
She didn't even fake a laugh.
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ
They walked a little slower.
Elara was quiet in his head, for once.
"…You will," she said finally. "Someday. Probably. I mean, if you stop panicking like a goat in a thunderstorm."
Aiden looked up, surprised. "That was… almost nice."
"I hated every second of it."
"I know."
"Don't tell anyone."
"Already logged it into the system."
"FUCK."
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ
📊 System Message:
-2 to all Stats (Temporary Debuff: Crippling Embarrassment)+1 to Empathy+1 to Bonding+1 to Elara's growing realization that maybe… he's just a kid
🎯 Emotional side quest added: Don't Break the Boy Before Lunch
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ
They got back to his room. Aiden dropped his bag with a grunt and collapsed onto the edge of the bed.
Elara—resting against the wall like a smug psychic parasite—clicked her metaphorical tongue.
"Alright, kid. Talk to me."
He blinked. "About what?"
"Like I'm a girl."
"…What?"
"I was a girl once. I mean, technically still am. Spiritually. Sword-ually."
"Noooo," Aiden groaned. "No. Nope. This is weird."
"You need practice! You froze harder than a cursed popsicle when Sunshine Smiles bumped into you. You're gonna need me to train you."
"I can't flirt with you, Elara!"
"Too bad. I'm all you've got."
He buried his face in his hands. "Please just let me die."
"Talk. To. Me. Like. I'm. A. Girl."
He sighed, knowing there was absolutely no escape from her emotional chokehold.
A long pause.
Then, hesitantly—
"…Do you like cheese?"
Elara went silent.
Dead silent.
"WHAT the HELL was that?!"
Aiden threw his arms up. "It was a conversation starter!"
"You were going to ask a girl about cheese?!"
"I panicked!"
"'Do you like cheese' is not flirting! That's a grocery store aisle ambush! What would you have done if she said yes—invited her to a dairy farm?!"
"Well, now I'm not going to!"
"Oh gods. Noooo. I have never regretted being sentient more than I do right now."
Aiden flopped back onto the bed with a dramatic groan of teenage despair.
"I hate everything."
"Oh, Sweet Cheese Boy. You are a menace to romance."
He groaned louder.
"Okay," Elara said firmly. "New rule. We rehearse every day. I am now your official Flirt Coach™."
"I hate this."
"Good. Hate makes you strong."
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ
📊 System Message:
+1 to Interpersonal Failure+2 to Secondhand Embarrassment+1 to Elara's Unexpected Commitment to Personal Growth🎯 Side Quest Added: Flirt With Someone Without Mentioning Dairy