Tony stood in the middle of the lounge room, eyeing the bright pink walls like they'd personally offended him.
"Good lord… it's like a unicorn exploded in here."
The couch was decent, the TV was slightly crooked, and the only window in the room looked like it hadn't been cleaned since the ship was built. Sunlight tried its best to beam through the grime, casting blurry rainbows all over the floor like nature gave up halfway.
With a loud, exaggerated sigh, Tony wiped the window using his sleeve. "Ugh. Filth. Disgusting. How does anyone live like this? I'm a skeleton and even I have standards."
He tossed the rag aside like a diva and strutted out, hands on his nonexistent hips.
Top Deck – Later
Tony arrived back on the top deck. The breeze tousled his bones (or it would've if he had hair), and there, in the middle of the deck, Eleo was doing crooked push-ups — his ears flopping dramatically with each dip.
"Uh, Eleo," Tony blinked, "what exactly are you doing?"
Eleo huffed between reps. "Push!"
"…Push what?"
"Push-up!" Eleo collapsed dramatically. "Okay, I did ten. Or maybe five. Wait—does one count if you yell the number real loud?"
"Absolutely not."
Tony rolled his eye sockets and made his way to the ship's wheel. "Well, while you count in reverse and call it progress, I'll be piloting us toward Kimyōna Island."
BOOM!
The ship jolted violently. Tony grabbed the railing, his bones rattling like a wind chime in a hurricane.
Eleo blinked. "Whoa… I think someone pushed the ship!"
Kenji stormed out from below deck with Olorun right behind him, both looking extremely annoyed — though in Olorun's case, it looked more like he'd just gotten interrupted during a dance break.
"What the hell was that?" Kenji growled, hand already on his sword.
"I think we're being attacked," Eleo offered helpfully, like he'd discovered breakfast.
"By who?" Olorun squinted, pulling a lollipop from his sleeve for some reason.
Tony pointed to the right. A ship with a white eagle logo pulled alongside them, sleek and ominous.
Amai popped out from below deck. "What's with all the noise—"
Timmy gasped dramatically from her shoulder. "OH MY GOD! THE ASCENDANTS!!" His tiny voice cracked like a squirrel going through puberty.
Everyone stared. Then…
A voice echoed from a microphone:
"ELEO THE BUNNY KID!"
"We are giving you an opinion to surrender—wait no—a—uh—OPPORTUNITY! I meant opportunity—wait—"
They all blinked. HUH?
Captain Joel Burger—yes, that was his real name—tapped his microphone and cleared his throat. He stood proudly at the front of the enemy ship, his eagle-logo cape flapping in the wind, and his eagle-logo hat flapping slightly less dramatically.
"Okay, okay—ahem—Eleo the Bunny Kid! You are given a choice! Surrender, or we will shut your ship down!"
Eleo cupped his hands around his mouth. "YOU WON'T DESTROY—THE BOOM-GO SHIP!"
Amai whipped her head toward him. "Boom-Go?! What the hell is Boom-Go?!"
"I don't know!" Eleo yelled. "It sounded cool!"
Captain Joel sneered. "Don't be an idiot. Nobody says Boom-Go."
Suddenly—a magical, glowing arm burst through the air and GRABBED the ship's wheel!
Tony shrieked. "OH GOOD. A POSSESSED ARM. THAT'S GREAT."
He latched onto the wheel, trying to pull the glowing limb off. "GET OFF, YOU SPIRIT OF BAD INTERIOR DESIGN!"
Captain Joel's voice came through again. "Give it up, skeleton. You'll never pry my magical arm away from that wheel."
Tony flicked a bit of lint off his shoulder and said, "Amai, can we uh… maybe bring out the Three Blasters?"
Amai didn't even look up from her crossed arms. "We can't. The ship has no gas, remember?"
Tony blinked. "Right. Right. No gas. Good memory. Great memory. Fantastic memory."
Olorun leaned casually on the railing, glancing at the approaching ships. "Yo, Eleo. As your strongest, sexiest, most reliable member—I shall buy time. You guys get outta here. I got this."
Eleo tilted his head. "What?"
Before Olorun could puff his chest any bigger, Kenji stepped in like a silent blade. "Don't listen to him, Eleo. I'm clearly the strongest. I will sacrifice myself—calculated, swift, honorable."
Olorun grabbed Kenji by the collar. Kenji grabbed him right back. Their foreheads clashed like cymbals.
"Stop copying me, you blue-haired son of a bitch!" Olorun snapped.
"You stop pretending you're the strongest, you dread-headed bastard!" Kenji growled back.
Amai, still unimpressed, muttered, "Why don't you both attack together?"
Tony clapped his hands like a proud dad. "Aww! That sounds so sweet. It's like a bromance but with extra violence!"
Timmy nodded, floating beside Amai on a leaf like a tiny sage. "Yeah! That way neither of you can get mad if the other wins!"
Olorun and Kenji locked eyes, grunted, and finally muttered, "Fine."
Eleo raised a paw, ears twitching. "Just—please don't get captured or die or anything. That would suck. A lot."
Kenji gave a rare smirk. "Don't worry, Eleo. We won't."
Olorun winked. "Yeah, 'cause I'll be here to make sure Kenji doesn't screw it up."
"HEY!" Kenji barked.
Suddenly, Joel Burger's voice SHRIEKED through his microphone like nails on a chalkboard, "—OH, AND DO YOU REALLY THINK WE'D LET YOU GO?!"
Some of the nearby Ascendants winced, holding their ears. One even dropped his rifle.
Olorun and Kenji exchanged a look, no words needed. In a flash of aura and speed, they both launched off the main ship, landing on the Ascendants' deck with twin thuds that cracked the wood beneath them.
Olorun cracked his knuckles. "Alright, lovers of eagles—let's dance."
Kenji drew his sword, the sunlight bouncing off the blade. "Start the ship."
"GO!!" Olorun shouted, not even looking back.
Tony grabbed the ship's wheel and gave it a tug, but it wouldn't budge.
"I can't!" he shouted. "His magical hands are still clamped on the wheel!"
Eleo rushed over. "Then I'll rip it off myself!"
He gripped the ghostly blue hand with both paws, muscles straining as he pulled. The hand clung tight like a cursed vice. Tony leaned in from behind, teeth clenched. "Come on, Eleo!"
Amai sighed, rolling her eyes, then joined them too, grabbing the left side of the grip. "We do everything ourselves, huh?"
Together, they pulled with everything they had. With a crackle of energy and a sharp pop, the magical hand shattered, fizzling out in blue sparks.
Meanwhile—
Laser fire lit up the Ascendants' ship like fireworks. The Ascendants barked out orders, voices gruff and layered with arrogance:
"FOR THE DOMINION!"
"SUBJUGATE THE TARGETS!"
"SHOW 'EM WHY WE'RE ASCENDANT!"
Kenji spun like a cyclone, both blades flashing in his hands. Each laser bolt that came his way was slashed in half mid-air, the beams fizzling against steel as he deflected them with clean, practiced precision.
Ping-ping-shing! His swords moved so fast they left afterimages.
Olorun darted between rifle fire, his expression sharp.
He leapt into a cluster of Ascendants. "Finger Knife!"
His fingertips pierced armor and flesh with surgical precision—throat, ribs, stomach. Each strike dropped an enemy before they could react.
"GHHH—HE'S USING HIS HANDS LIKE DAGGERS!"
"KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE OFFICERS!"
Then—WHAM!—a massive arm came from nowhere and clocked Olorun across the jaw, sending him sliding backward.
He caught himself just short of the ship's edge, head snapping up.
Joel floated above the chaos, surrounded by a swirling halo of disembodied, spectral hands.
"My S-Orb…" Joel's voice boomed. "Is the Hand."
Kenji gritted his teeth. "Good grief…"
Several ghostly hands lunged toward him. Kenji sliced one clean in half—but it regrew instantly. Another hand came from beneath and tried to swipe his legs.
Joel teleported in front of him with a loud crack of air. WHAM!—he launched a punch that Kenji barely blocked with both swords crossed, the impact blasting him toward the ship's railing.
He nearly toppled off, but a hand caught his wrist—Olorun.
"Try not to die before I do, dumbass."
Kenji snorted. "Yeah, yeah. Save the romance for later."
Back on the BOOM-GO:
Timmy yelled, "We got the hand off! Tony—GO!"
Tony, clinging to the ignition button like a cowboy, slammed it. "Hold on to your butts!"
the whole ship lurching forward like a beast uncaged.
Tony spun the wheel hard. "We're moving!"
Joel turned, noticing too late. "Oh no you don't—!"
Olorun yelled out, "Lightning Spear!!"
A burst of white-hot lightning exploded from his palm, zig-zagging through the air like a rabid serpent. It struck Ascendants with precision—one after another screamed as they were zapped and flung across the deck.
"ARGHH—HE FRIED 'EM ALL!"
"SOMEONE TAKE OUT THE ELECTRIC ONE!"
The spear zipped toward Joel, but one of his magical arms snagged Olorun's wrist mid-cast, redirecting the blast straight at the BOOM-GO.
"Shit—!" Olorun cut the energy just in time, the ship barely avoiding a fatal zap.
Then—BAM, BAM!—two fists slammed into Olorun's gut in rapid succession, knocking the wind out of him.
He dropped to one knee, gasping.
"Damn... he's faster than I thought."
Kenji returned with a shout: "KEN-SLASH!!"
He unleashed a wave of cutting wind from both blades. Joel dodged with a backflip, barely avoiding the slash that tore through the main mast behind him.
Joel grinned. "Nice try."
More hands shot out. Kenji slashed them one after the other, sprinting forward through the chaos, murder in his eyes.
"I'M SICK OF YOUR HANDS, YOU CREEPY FREAK!"
Just as Kenji was about to strike—
Joel's hands lifted him into the air.
He whistled.
Clang.
BOOM—SHUNK!
The lower deck door burst open.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
A towering figure stepped out. Seven feet tall, encased in matte-black armor. A mini laser cannon on its right arm hummed with deadly heat. The left arm? A jagged, glowing energy blade, pulsing like a heartbeat.
The figure raised its head. No words. Just menace.
Olorun's eyes narrowed. "Aw, crap…"