The morning after the wedding raid, Xiao Fan was sitting cross-legged in his personal cultivation chamber, sipping tea from a cup shaped like a palm.
Behind him, his new fiancée, Elder Fairy Lin Yue, was sharpening her nail polish claws with a dagger. She was adapting well to her new life, already threatening the Inner Sect disciples with poetic death threats.
Suddenly, a disciple ran in, covered in bruises and shame.
"Sect Master!" the disciple cried. "They're here!"
"Who?" Xiao Fan blinked, swirling his tea.
The disciple trembled. "The Heavenly Etiquette Alliance!"
BOOM.
The sky outside cracked open like a cosmic tea kettle tipping over.
From the clouds descended an entire army of polite cultivators. They wore flowing robes stitched with embroidery that screamed "self-restraint" and "propriety." Each held a fan, a scroll, or a monocle.
At their front stood a scholarly man with a long mustache curled into the symbol for "no fun allowed." He floated on a carpet woven from Social Norm Qi.
"I am Elder Manners, Grand Enforcer of Decorum!" the man announced, his voice smooth like an over-polished porcelain dish.
"Xiao Fan of the Slap Ascension Sect! You have violated 308 rules of etiquette, including:
Interrupting a wedding without RSVP.
Public humiliation of esteemed sect leaders.
Excessive slapping without verbal warning.
Cultivation of the 'Palm of Eternal Rudeness.'"
Xiao Fan stepped out with his hands behind his back. He was chewing gum. Nobody knew where he got it.
"I don't recognize your laws," he said.
Elder Manners gasped. "You dare!"
"I do," Xiao Fan said. "In fact, I double dare."
A collective "HAAAA" echoed from the Etiquette cultivators.
One of them fainted.
Elder Manners raised a glowing etiquette scroll. "Then we shall cleanse your rudeness with the Sacred Ritual of Polite Punishment!"
"Let's see it."
---
Polite Punishment Ritual: First Round – Fan of Shame
A cultivator stepped forward and flicked his silk fan. A wave of soft wind hit Xiao Fan, carrying with it gentle disappointment and mild judgment.
The air whispered:
> "Tsk-tsk… Your manners are appalling…"
Xiao Fan's clothes fluttered, his hair ruffled slightly.
Then he sneezed.
"That's it?" he blinked. "Weak."
SLAP!
The fan wielder flew into a cloud shaped like "Regret."
Ding!
> You have slapped a polite cultivator.
Style Rating: 10/10
Decorum Violation Multiplier Activated: +500 EXP
Elder Manners growled. "Then let's escalate!"
---
Polite Punishment Ritual: Second Round – Scroll of Passive-Aggressive Fury
Another cultivator floated forward holding a long etiquette scroll, from which he recited:
> "According to Chapter 12, Article 7: 'One must not glare at guests for more than 2.5 seconds.' Xiao Fan, you stared at Fairy Lin Yue for ten."
Xiao Fan shrugged. "She's hot."
Lin Yue blushed and kicked a nearby pillar out of shyness.
The scroll cultivator fainted mid-sentence.
SLAP!
Xiao Fan slapped him so hard he was reincarnated into a sect where only apologizing gave you Qi.
Ding!
> Reputation increased: +100 in "Infamous Yet Handsome" category.
Elder Manners finally floated forward, removing his monocle.
"It seems I must deal with you myself."
He drew his weapon—a golden ruler of etiquette law, forged from compressed social pressure and holier-than-thou stares.
"You shall now face the final punishment…"
Ruler Technique: Thousand-Year Disappointed Father Smack!
A cosmic projection of a disappointed dad holding a belt began forming behind Elder Manners. Even Xiao Fan felt a slight chill.
But then...
Ding!
> Emergency Slap System Triggered.
New Technique Unlocked: "Rebellious Teen Palm—'I Do What I Want!'"
Xiao Fan roared, summoning a massive slap-shaped aura behind him with the energy of every teenager who ignored curfew.
The clash was explosive.
BOOOOOOOM!
The air twisted.
Space cried.
The mountains wept.
Etiquette shattered.
When the smoke cleared, Elder Manners was lying in a crater, his golden ruler split in half. His monocle cracked. His hair? Disheveled.
"My...my decorum…"
"You fought well," Xiao Fan said respectfully. "But you brought a ruler to a slap fight."
---
Later That Evening...
Xiao Fan stood before his disciples in the Slap Ascension Sect training yard.
"Today," he said, "you all witnessed a new truth."
"Slapping is not just brute force."
"It is a philosophy. A way of life. A rebellious Dao that crushes all logic."
He raised a hand. Disciples raised theirs.
They slapped the air together.
CLAP!
A shockwave rippled through the sky. Somewhere, an ancient etiquette ghost screamed.
Fairy Lin Yue approached, arms crossed.
"You realize you've now angered the entire Central Cultivation World, right?"
Xiao Fan grinned. "Good. They'll come to me."
She rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."
"I know."
She sighed. "You're my idiot now."