"We accept the love we think we deserve."
Stephen Chbosky
I didn't go to my garden the next day, and from my window, I saw Jason milling around it, probably hoping to see me.
I just couldn't face him nor deal with my growing envy of him and his accomplishments.
I kept away from the garden for a few more days, but the urge for the comfort my flowers gave me was soon too much of a pull.
Almost a week after staying away, very early on a Saturday morning before most of the household awoke, I went down there to meditate.
I knew I had to come up with a plan for my life, no matter how painful for me such a plan would be.
"I thought I'd said something to offend you," came Jason's voice, making me jump.
I hadn't expected him to be there so early, and also on a Saturday. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
"Why are you here at the crack of dawn?"
"I stayed over last night to help clean out the ponds and aviary," he answered. "I take on any additional work I can, which is important if I'm going to raise that money." He gave me a quizzical look. "You look a bit dull. You're not usually here this early. I hope nothing is wrong."
Before I could even answer, I heard loud screams from the house.
We both turned in its direction, just as the front door was flung open, and a naked Clara was pushed out of the house, followed by a screaming Amanda.
The shit had finally hit the fan.
"You are a shameless child! You are nothing but a prostitute! You are a dog! A shameless dog!" Amanda was screaming so hard, her voice was now raspy.
From her bloodshot eyes, I could see that finding her daughter in bed with her lover had actually been a surprise to her, unlike what I had grown to believe.
"Honey, leave the girl alone," the minister appeared from the house, chuckling. "See how you have stripped her naked for the whole world to see."
I felt suddenly enraged for these two women, angered by the fact that the lover they had in common was clearly enjoying the whole show.
He didn't even have the decency to attempt to cover Clara's nakedness.
"You! How could you?!!!" Amanda screamed, turning to him. "My daughter? My child? A girl that has been like a child to you?"
"She is not my child, ," the minister chuckled.
"When did I ever tell you she was my child?"
"You know how important she is to me! You know she is all I have! You know taking care of her was the reason I even started following you in the first place!" Amanda screamed. "Wasn't I enough for you? Did you also have to steal my daughter's innocence as well?"
"There is nothing innocent about Clara, don't deceive yourself," he answered, his eyes twinkling. "Maria, come and cover this girl up."
I looked at the whimpering clara, crouched on the ground, trying to cover her body but failing woefully.
I stole a glance at Jason and, from his clenched fists, saw he was just as enraged as I was.
I put my hand on his arm, to prevent him from doing something stupid like rushing to the young girl's aid.
That would have been equal to suicide.
"I am finished! What will I do?" Amanda said, throwing herself to the ground.
Madam Maria ran out of the house and threw a blanket around Clara, before pulling her to her feet.
"It's the people that let you in that I blame!" The minister said, all traces of humor gone "You know the time you are allowed to come here. I thought I made that perfectly clear."
"So, it was because you were sleeping with my daughter that you stopped me from staying here overnight? It's because you wanted to eat both the banana and the peel? You don't know who you have messed with! I will deal with you in this city! I will tell the whole world what you have done to us."
"Get her out of here," the minister said to madam Maria, before taking Clara by the hand. "my angel, please come inside."
"Leave me alone!" Amanda jerked her hand out of madam mara's grip. "Clara! Clara! You are still following him inside? Clara!"
Clara glared at her mother with intense hatred, before allowing Chief to lead her back to the house. My heart broke for Amanda. I knew her daughter's betrayal hurt much worse than her lover's.
"Please, my dear, let us go," madam Maria pleaded, taking the weeping woman's hand.
"There is no point crying here. Let me take you home."
"You knew! You knew, and you didn't tell me?" Chiasoka spat at her. "If I hadn't decided to confirm the rumours I've been hearing , and sneak in here, that's how all of you would have continued looking at me like a big fool? How long has this been going on? How long has she been coming here?"
Madam Maria sighed and looked away, and I didn't blame her.
As if she could open her mouth to spill such sensitive information!
"God punish you! God punish all of you! God punish that devil of a man! And God punish that foolish poor excuse of a daughter!" Amanda cried, her entire body vibrating in her rage. "Why should I be surprised when the demonic man has been sharing his own wife with his son?"
I flinched at the obvious reference to me and stole a glance at Jason to see if he'd understood what she said, but I couldn't read the look on his face.
Amanda was soon bundled out of the compound, and before long, there was little to no indication that there had been any altercation only a short while before.
Except in my heart, where I was suddenly overwhelmed with shame for becoming a byline for the kind of incestuous relationships that the minister was known for.
"How can a man involve himself with women like that," Jason asked, cutting into the silence, "when he has a beautiful angel for a wife?"
I looked up at him, and in his eyes was the love and adulation I was so desperate for.
I don't know who moved forward first, whether it was he or I, but the gap between us soon closed and our lips melted together in the most tender of kisses.
I closed my eyes as his lips teased mine, and I held on to him as if my life depended on it, needing more, wanting more of him.
As our kiss deepened, I pulled him to the ground, loving the feel of his taut, muscular body, the smell of his sweat, and his raw sexuality. I wanted him there, and I wanted him then.
But he had other plans.