(Lilac's POV)
I could feel the weight of the moment, the air between us charged with the unspoken truths we hadn't addressed. Tom was still breathing heavily beneath me, his chest rising and falling as if the battle inside him was raging. But there was something else now—a softness in his eyes, a tenderness that made my heart ache.
I knew I had him now. But it wasn't enough. He needed to hear the truth. He needed to understand just how deeply I felt for him.
I shifted slightly, moving closer to him, my body still pressed against his, and I cupped his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. His eyes were full of conflict, but I didn't flinch. I wasn't backing down. Not now.
"Tom," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. "I need you to listen to me. Please."
He swallowed hard, his eyes softening, his hands resting on my hips, but he didn't speak.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. This wasn't easy. I had never said these words out loud to anyone before. But if there was ever a time, it was now.
"I've loved you since I was thirteen," I said, my voice shaking slightly but steady with conviction. "Since the moment I first laid eyes on you. You were always there—always a part of my life, but you were never mine. And I couldn't let myself feel what I did. But I couldn't stop loving you either."
His gaze softened, but I could see the pain there, the confusion, as if my words were sinking in but he couldn't fully comprehend them.
I continued, not wanting to stop now. "I've saved myself for you, Tom. All these years, I've kept myself pure, hoping that one day you would see me. I never wanted anyone else. Not a single man, not even a boy my age. Because I've always known it was you. It's always been you."
His eyes widened slightly, and I saw his breath catch in his throat.
"You…" His voice was hoarse, strained. "Lilac, you can't be serious. You can't have—"
But I stopped him before he could say anything else, leaning down to kiss him again, this time slower, more tender. I could feel the shock in his lips, but I didn't pull back. I couldn't. This was my truth, and I wasn't afraid to say it anymore.
When I finally pulled back, my forehead resting against his, I whispered, "I've waited for this moment my whole life, Tom. I've wanted you in every way, and I've never been able to have you. But now… now I need you to understand. I'm not some naïve little girl. I'm a woman, and I've made my choice. You're the only man I've ever wanted."
His hands moved from my waist to my shoulders, as if he were trying to steady himself, as if my confession had left him reeling. His eyes searched mine, filled with a mixture of disbelief and something else—something softer.
"I can't believe you're saying this," he whispered, almost to himself. "Lilac, you're so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You deserve someone who can give you everything. Someone who won't—"
But I silenced him with another kiss, this one deeper, more desperate. I needed him to hear me. I needed him to know that it wasn't a fleeting fantasy for me. It wasn't a silly crush. I loved him. I had loved him for so long, and I had never wanted anyone else.
"I don't care about age, Tom," I murmured against his lips. "I don't care about what anyone else thinks. You are everything I've ever wanted. And I'm not going to let you go. I've already waited too long."
His hands trembled against my skin, and I felt his resistance falter, just for a moment. I knew that what I was asking, what I was admitting, was impossible to ignore. I could feel the shift inside him, a weakening of the walls he had built around himself.
"God, Lilac," he groaned, his voice thick with emotion. "This isn't what I planned. I—"
But I wasn't going to let him finish. Not now. Not when I was so close.
"You don't have to plan it, Tom," I said softly. "It's already happening. I know you feel it too. This isn't just me wanting you. This is us, together. And I won't let you push me away."
I saw it then—the vulnerability in his eyes, the way his body trembled beneath mine, torn between desire and guilt. I wasn't asking him to forget everything. I wasn't asking him to suddenly be okay with everything. I just needed him to know how I felt, to know that this wasn't a passing whim. This was real.
"I love you," I whispered, my voice steady but filled with emotion. "I always have. And I always will."
His eyes searched mine for a long moment, and for the first time, I saw something shift in him. A flicker of acceptance. A crack in his defenses.
"Jesus," he muttered, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. "You're breaking my heart, Lilac."
"I don't want to break your heart," I whispered back, my hand sliding down to his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. "I just want to be with you. No matter what happens."
He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath as if he were trying to find his bearings. When he opened them again, there was a rawness to them, a vulnerability that I hadn't seen before.
And then, finally, his lips found mine once again, but this time it was different. There was no hesitation, no more resistance. Only the desperate need we both felt.
For the first time, I knew that this wasn't just my dream anymore. This was real.