"Alan, please, open your eyes!" Lucas pleaded, his voice trembling uncontrollably. His heart ached with a pain he had never known before, as though it were physically being squeezed. It felt like someone had knocked the breath out of his lungs.
"Alan…!" Lucas's voice was almost a desperate cry as he begged Alan to wake up. But there was no response. The silence was suffocating.
Lucas carefully lifted Alan and placed him gently on the bed. He was overwhelmed by an illness in his heart that he couldn't quite name. What was wrong with him? He pulled out his phone and called his friend who was a doctor.
"Nathan, can you come?" Lucas's voice shook with nervousness.
"Lucas, what's wrong?!" Nathan Reynolds asked as he hurriedly left his home. From Lucas's voice, he could tell something was terribly wrong. He remembered Lucas's struggles with PTSD after his parents passed away, and his concern deepened.
"Please come!" Lucas urged, rubbing his forehead in a futile attempt to quell his uncontrollable worry.
"I'll be there right away. Don't stress, and for heaven's sake, don't cry!" Nathan said, his voice laced with concern. Knowing Lucas's tone well, he was sure something was seriously wrong.
Lucas sat next to Alan, holding him close. He couldn't understand why his life had turned out this way. It seemed like everything he touched fell apart. The day he met Alan, his life had spiraled into chaos. He had lost friends, his crush, and then his parents. Now, there was no one left in his life because of Alan. He struggled with his feelings—how could he bear to see Alan hurt, when he couldn't bring himself to like the man, yet knew he couldn't live with the guilt if anything happened to him?
"Lucas!" Nathan called out as he entered the bedroom. His eyes fell on the pale figure of Alan cradled in Lucas's arms.
"Take a look at him!" Lucas whispered, still staring down, his mind clouded by anguish when it came to Alan.
"Let him lie down first," Nathan said gently, noticing how Lucas refused to let go of Alan. He was well aware of Lucas's reticence; it was painful to see his friend in such a state. Lucas had always been a man of few words, especially when overwhelmed by his own emotions.
"..." Lucas reluctantly laid Alan back on the bed, still hovering protectively.
…
"Is he… Alan, your husband?" Nathan asked. He had been Lucas's childhood friend but had left the country before Lucas met Alan. He had heard about Alan but had never met him, and their wedding had been a private affair that he had missed.
"Yes," Lucas replied, keeping his gaze lowered.
"He fainted due to weakness," Nathan said, administering an injection to Alan. "Don't worry; it's nothing serious. Just make sure he eats something when he wakes up, as he hasn't had anything all day."
"I will. Thank you so much, Nathan," Lucas said with a relieved yet grateful smile.
"We're friends. You don't need to thank me. It's my job," Nathan said with a smile.
"Still…" Lucas said as he gently placed Alan on the sofa.
"Lucas, do you mind telling me why you're so stressed?" Nathan asked, taking a seat.
"I don't know. I just don't understand why I feel this way," Lucas mumbled helplessly. He couldn't grasp why he felt so restless when Alan was ill, or why his heart tightened with such intensity.
"What don't you understand?"
"I don't understand why I feel restless when he's hurt," Lucas said, his distress evident. Despite Alan causing him pain, he cared deeply for him. Why?
"You don't hate him, do you?" Nathan asked with a light smile, able to read Lucas's emotions. There was no trace of hatred in his friend's demeanor, despite his claims of dislike.
"I don't know if I hate him or not, but I just can't bear to see him happy while I'm suffering. Yet, it hurts when he's in pain," Lucas said with a dejected smile. He couldn't comprehend the conflicting feelings—his heart ached when Alan was hurt, but he felt tortured watching him happy.
"Lucas, take your time. Try to understand your emotions. Don't rush yourself. You have a lifetime to figure out what you want," Nathan advised with a supportive smile. He could see that Lucas was hurting, feeling that Alan was responsible for his miseries, yet he couldn't bring himself to hate him. Deep down, Lucas likely harbored profound feelings for Alan that he was struggling to identify.
Lucas nodded silently, his gaze fixed on Alan, who was now sleeping soundly. After receiving a call from the hospital, Nathan excused himself, leaving after a few more words with Lucas.