Chapter 11: HOW TO ANNOY A SEA MONSTER UNTIL IT WANTS TO DIE
Alright.
Let's be real.
Jumping directly into Charybdis' gaping whirlpool mouth was probably in the top three dumbest things I'd ever done.
(And considering my track record, that was saying a lot.)
I wasn't stronger than the strongest demigods. I wasn't some world-ending titan of destruction. I wasn't even the most terrifying fighter at Camp Half-Blood. But I had one thing going for me.
I was stubborn as hell.
And if I couldn't win, I'd make sure my enemy regretted ever meeting me.
Which is exactly why, as I plunged straight toward Charybdis' cavernous, tooth-rimmed abyss, I did what any rationalperson would do in this situation.
I punched the ocean again.
[Berserker Gauge: 100% → OVERDRIVE]
The sheer force of my strike rippled through the water, sending shockwaves in every direction. The current buckled for half a second—just enough time for me to twist my body and launch myself sideways, skimming past the actual teeth of doom and spiraling into a less murdery part of the whirlpool.
Now, if I had real god-tier water powers like Percy, I probably could've just waltzed my way out of there.
But I didn't.
What I did have, though, was the power of reckless improvisation.
"Alright, big guy," I muttered as I hurtled deeper into the vortex. "Let's see if you can handle some chaos."
I kicked off a swirling current, propelling myself back up—but not in a straight line. Oh no. That would be too easy.
Instead, I zigzagged through the currents, bouncing off shifting walls of water like a pinball, making sure to get just close enough to Charybdis' mouth that it looked like I was about to get eaten—
—only to veer off at the last second.
This had exactly the effect I wanted.
Charybdis roared beneath the waves, the sound vibrating through the entire ocean.
I cackled. "Oh, what's wrong? You hungry? Too bad, ugly!"
I punched another current, sending myself hurtling sideways just as one of Charybdis' massive teeth came crashing downwhere I'd been a second ago.
I was annoying it.
I couldn't win. I knew that. But I could make it regret trying to eat me.
Like an overly aggressive mosquito that refused to die.
Another lurch—this time, the entire whirlpool shifted. The currents twisted, pulling in the opposite direction for a split second before snapping back.
The Birminghamjerked, and I caught a glimpse of Percy using every ounce of his water control to keep the ship from capsizing.
"Any time now, guys!" I called.
"STOP ANTAGONIZING THE GIANT SEA MONSTER!" Annabeth shouted.
"THAT'S NOT HOW I OPERATE!"
Another whirlpool shift. Another massive tooth gnashing through the water. Another perfectly timed dodge.
I grinned. Alright. One more for the road.
I flipped off the sea monster.
"CHOKE ON IT, YOU OVERGROWN TOILET DRAIN!"
The reaction was instantaneous.
Charybdis roared—a full-body tremor that sent tidal waves exploding outward.
And then—
The whirlpool collapsed.
The currents sputtered.
And just like that, the ship was free.
Now, here's the problem with surviving an encounter like that.
The second you actually win, all the adrenaline-fueled excitement crashes headfirst into one undeniable reality.
I was still in the ocean.
And I couldn't breathe underwater.
"Oh," I muttered as my body finally registered that my lungs were on fire.
I tried to swim up, but my limbs felt like lead. My Berserker Gauge had burned out, and my body was done with my nonsense.
"Welp," I thought. "Guess I'm—"
A hand grabbed my wrist.
The water surged, and suddenly I was flying upward, breaking through the waves like a freaking missile.
The next thing I knew, I was crashing onto the deck of the Birmingham, coughing up about three gallons of seawater.
Percy was standing over me, looking deeply unimpressed.
"You really need to stop trying to die," he said.
I wheezed. "No can do, buddy."
Clarisse stomped up, looking like she was two seconds away from strangling me. "WHAT THE HADES WAS THAT?!"
I sat up weakly. "Strategic monster harassment."
Annabeth groaned. "You're an idiot."
I gave her a thumbs-up. "But a surviving idiot."
Clarisse grabbed my shirt and hauled me up. "Listen, Lionel. I don't care if you think you're some kind of goddamn video game protagonist—if you ever pull something that stupid again, I will personally feed you to Ares."
I blinked. "Aw, sis. You do care."
She let go of me with a shove.
"Shut up," she muttered, storming off.
I grinned.
Percy shook his head. "I still don't get how you keep surviving this stuff."
I stretched, feeling the deep soreness in my bones. "Same way I always do, man."
I cracked my knuckles.
"If I can't win—I annoy and come back later."
The good news: We weren't dead.
The bad news: We were very lost.
After the whole Charybdis incident, the ship had gotten thrown way off course. We had no landmarks, no map, and only the vague knowledge that "the Fleece is somewhere out here, probably."
Clarisse, naturally, blamed us for this.
"This is why I didn't want you two on my quest!" she snapped.
"Hey," I said, "if you'd rather still be inside the whirlpool of doom, just say the word."
She threw a wrench at me.
I dodged.
Annabeth, meanwhile, was hunched over a chart, frowning. "If I remember right, the Fleece is on Polyphemus' island. Which means we should be near—"
BOOM.
The entire ship lurched.