"Izumi."
Standing before Itachi was a beautiful girl with delicate features and long, jet-black hair. This was Uchiha Izumi, Itachi's childhood friend and the girl he secretly loved.
"Itachi."
She smiled sweetly, her charm enough to make Itachi freeze on the spot. Ever since leaving the Academy earlier that day, Itachi had been haunted by Menma's words—so much so that he'd rushed over here without hesitation.
"Izumi," he asked seriously, "do you… like Menma?"
Menma?
Izumi's mind flashed back to the red-haired boy. The last time he approached her, they'd chatted quite a bit. She saw Menma as a cute, cheeky little brother. So she responded without hesitation:
"Yeah, I like him."
CRACK.
Heart: shattered.
Itachi's eyes turned crimson in a flash—his Sharingan activating instantly, the three tomoe spinning wildly.
You were my brother… and you stole my girl.
In his heart, Itachi had already accepted his feelings for Izumi. Hearing her say she liked someone else—Menma, of all people—broke something inside him.
"What's wrong, Itachi?" Izumi asked in concern, noticing his eyes change.
"It's nothing," he muttered. Then, gathering himself, he said in a quiet voice, "Izumi, I like you. But… if it's Menma you want, I won't get in your way."
He turned away, preparing to leave.
He likes me?
The words echoed in Izumi's heart. A warmth spread through her chest. She'd waited so long to hear those words. He likes me, he really likes me!
Seeing Itachi about to walk away, she darted forward and grabbed his hand.
"Wait, Itachi!"
Itachi froze in place, back still turned. He didn't want her to see the tears threatening to escape—he hadn't cried since he was a child, and now he was barely holding it in.
Behind him, something clicked.
His Sharingan changed shape—the three tomoe fusing together into a perfect Mangekyō Sharingan, shaped like a shuriken.
"I like you too," Izumi said, loud and clear. Then she threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly.
Itachi turned to look at her in shock. "You… like me?"
Izumi chuckled and gently ran her fingers through his hair. "Idiot. I said I liked Menma as a little brother. But you? You're the one I love—and I've loved you for a long time."
Itachi's arms wrapped around her without hesitation.
But the moment didn't last.
"Who's there?" he called suddenly, letting go of Izumi and staring into the nearby shadows.
A beat later, a red-haired boy emerged with a mischievous grin—Menma.
"Sorry, Sister Izumi, Itachi. Didn't mean to interrupt your romantic moment." He raised a hand with mock innocence. "But hey—congrats! The lovers finally confess."
Izumi smiled, amused.
Itachi's eye twitched. He was so going to kill him.
With lightning speed, he threw a kunai straight at Menma.
"I knew it!" Izumi cried in alarm.
But Menma didn't dodge. The kunai struck him—and then… poof.
The clone vanished.
"Shadow clone," Itachi muttered, exasperated.
Back at the Ninja Academy
Menma stood among the students in the training yard, bored out of his mind. The Third Hokage was giving one of his famous "Will of Fire" speeches. Menma yawned as he watched clouds drift overhead.
Suddenly, the memories from his clone returned—and the corners of his mouth curled upward.
Heh. Nailed it. Perfect matchmaking. Once Itachi and Izumi get married, they'd better give me a massive red envelope.
"Brother? What are you smiling about?" Naruto asked. He looked like he was on the verge of falling asleep after hearing the Third Hokage say "Will of Fire" for the fiftieth time.
Menma leaned in and said with a grin, "Naruto, if you want something, just ask Itachi to buy it for you."
"Huh?! Really?! Anything I want?!"
"Of course. Your brother helped him out big time," Menma said proudly. For the rest of his life, too. That has to count for something.
Naruto bounced with excitement. He'd been rationing pocket money for months.
Just then, Sasuke appeared beside him.
"Hey, Naruto. Did I hear you say my brother's name just now?"
"Yup!" Naruto beamed. "He's gonna buy me stuff. I can ask for anything!"
"…Impossible," Sasuke said flatly. My own brother doesn't spoil me like that. Why would he buy things for Naruto?
"It's true!"
"No way."
"Totally true."
"Absolutely not."
Their voices rose with each word, growing louder and louder.
In the middle of the Hokage's speech.
Iruka twitched.
Before they could get any louder, Iruka stormed over, grabbed them by the collars, and yeeted them to the side of the field.
"You two! Time-out! You're standing there until the end of the speech!"
If Iruka hadn't stepped in, Menma might have had to intervene again. Those two are just chaos magnets. This is worse than canon.
Where was cold and aloof Sasuke from the original story?
Where was goofball Naruto?
This version was just… pure noise.
"It's all your fault!" Naruto pouted, glaring at Sasuke.
"It's YOUR fault!" Sasuke shot back.
"No, it's you!"
"No, it's YOU!"
"YOU!"
"YOU!"
Round two: Verbal Deathmatch.
Iruka massaged his temples. "Why do I even try…"
"Hahahaha!"
"Hahahaha!"
The rest of the class burst into laughter at the sight of the two of them arguing in the corner.
Even the Third Hokage cracked a tired smile. These two…
Seeing that the speech was now hopelessly derailed, Hiruzen cleared his throat. "Well, that concludes our welcome speech. Let's reconvene another day…"
As the Hokage left the field, Iruka returned with two mysterious cloth strips. Without a word, he shoved one into each of their mouths.
"Mnph!"
"MMnph?!"
Satisfied, Iruka nodded. Silence at last.
"Hahahaha!"
"Hahahaha!"
The laughter only intensified as Naruto and Sasuke stood there gagged and fuming.
Iruka turned to the class. "Since Hokage-sama has left, we'll end the session here. Naruto and Sasuke, you're standing there till noon."
Meanwhile, Menma, ever the loyal older brother, created a clone beside Naruto.
"Shadow Clone Jutsu."
"Stay with him for now," Menma said to the clone. "I'm heading back to class."
The clone sighed. "Of course I get the babysitting job…"
(End Of Chapter)
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