The freezing cold pierces my body like a million needles stabbing me. I can't remember how long it has been since I've stepped on this neverending land of nothingness. I used the only strength, that I had left to stand up, even if my knees were becoming weak.
I squinted my eyes even more, to adapt to the snow storm, happening right now. I felt the snow flakes, falling on my long eyelashes, making it difficult to see, still, I looked around myself, only to see the same land, I've been seeing for the past days...or weeks.
All my limbs have become numb. I don't even have the courage to take off my gloves and look at my fingers. I can barely move them and the blisters on them are rubbing and touching against my gloves. And even with the extreme coldness, my clothes are all sweaty and sticking onto my body. I feel extreme disgust with my body right now, I want to rip off my skin.
I am not able to recall the time I've spent here, because the whole day looks the same. The mornings, the afternoons, the evenings, the night. Nothing ever changes, the sky remains the same, even after the whole day goes by. It's like a time loop, like time just stopped and I've been just existing, not living.
I wonder if my face changed? Maybe I've grown older and wrinkles started to appear on my face. What if the colors from my face dissapeared? What if I'm just a soul wandering endlessly, as a punishment from God himself?
But I don't think any of that matters, I wouldn't have known either way.
,,God," I've opened my mouth, but I couldn't recognize my own voice. It was raspy and emotionless. Nothing like me.
,,kill me" I sighed and closed my eyes. I never imagined such a sentence, coming from me. But, what was there to do now? There's no way, I could ever get out of this place. All my senses of direction are nowhere to be found. With every step I take, I'm just risking that, that I'm just getting further and further away, from the exit.
Chills ran down my spine, as I started to lose my mind, when suddenly, my whole body fell down onto the purely white snow, that was now ruined with red tones. At the moment when my gaze turned to the snow beneath me, I started coughing. I immediately put my hand on my mouth, feeling something sticky on my glove, and my heart started pounding. With widened eyes I slowly moved my hand away from my mouth, palms up.
I looked down, only to be met with blood on my glove. However I didn't feel any pain, my body has grown completely numb due to the coldness. The only thing I was able to feel was coming on sickness. Blood never made sick, maybe it was the fact that I'm dying, that made me sick.
I'm finally going to be gone now, just as I wanted to. So why do I feel weird right now? I don't feel any happiness by completing, what I've been dreaming of this whole time. Rather...I feel the will to live. I want to find a way out. I want to live. I want to live! God! God, please don't make me die, please, don't make dissappear. Please don't make me die in such an unpleasant place. Don't keep my body here to rot in the snow. Tears were already running down my face and more blood was coming out of my mouth. I can't breath.
I remembered something. My body is probably just going to freeze and not rot. It's ice cold here. Which means, my body is gonna be here forever, trapped in an endless land. No one will ever find my body.
I tried to keep my eyes opened for as long as possible. What does death look like? Will my whole life flash infront of my eyes? My body started to give up, my organs started to shut down. It all felt slowed down, every second felt like a minute. Every minute was like an hour.
My lids were closing, when I saw something in the corner of my eye. I managed to look to the side.
A flash. Something really bright just flashed in the snow. I wanted to see more, but my lids closed completely.
,,No..." was all I could mutter, before my body fell into the snow, before my whole head was burried into it.
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