I knew I was screwed the moment the Kōtotsu appeared in the Dangai.
"Run!" I shouted to my friends as the massive, unstoppable spiritual cleaner barreled toward us through the dark passageway between worlds. Orihime's eyes went wide with fear, Chad nodded grimly, and Uryū muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "I told you we should have left earlier, Kurosaki."
Yeah, yeah. Lecture me later, Quincy.
We had just rescued Rukia from execution in Soul Society, and all I wanted was to get home, collapse into my bed, and sleep for about a week. Was that too much to ask?
Apparently, the universe thought so.
The walls of the Dangai trembled as we sprinted through the darkness, the thundering approach of the Kōtotsu growing louder by the second. Just a little further and we'd reach the exit back to Karakura Town. Just a little more...
That's when I felt it—a strange pull from behind, different from the Kōtotsu's approach. Some kind of spatial distortion in the already weird dimensional passageway. Because why not add another problem?
"Keep going!" I yelled to the others, turning to face whatever new threat was emerging. Zangetsu was already in my hand, the weight of my Zanpakutō reassuring despite the chaos.
The last thing I saw was Orihime reaching back toward me, her mouth forming my name as the Kōtotsu bore down on us all. Then came a violent, twisting sensation, like being pulled inside out through my own skull. Not painful exactly, but definitely on my top ten list of "experiences I never want to repeat."
The world went white, then black, then a kaleidoscope of colors that didn't even have names.
And then... nothing.
**********
I woke up face-down in dirt and ash, my mouth tasting like I'd been licking the bottom of Keigo's gym locker. My head pounded, and every muscle felt like I'd gone ten rounds with Kenpachi.
"Ugh... what the hell?" I groaned, pushing myself up to my hands and knees. The ground beneath me was strange—dark, almost glassy in places, with streaks of red running through black soil. The air smelled wrong too, like sulfur and something burnt. Not exactly Karakura Town.
I climbed to my feet, relieved to find Zangetsu still strapped to my back. At least I wasn't weaponless. Small mercies.
"Orihime? Chad? Uryū?" I called out, my voice echoing strangely in the empty landscape. No answer.
Great. Just great.
I stood on a rocky outcropping overlooking a desolate valley. In the distance, jagged mountains rose against an angry red sky—not the vibrant sunset kind of red, but the "something is seriously wrong with this place" kind of red. Scattered throughout the valley below were the ruins of what might have once been buildings. Now they were just broken shells, some still smoking like they'd been destroyed recently.
"Soul Society? No... definitely not," I muttered, scanning the horizon. "Not the World of the Living either."
Wherever this was, it wasn't anywhere I recognized from Hat-and-Clogs' endless lectures about spiritual realms and dimensions. And speaking of spiritual energy...
I reached out with my senses, trying to detect any familiar reiatsu signatures.
Nothing.
No trace of my friends, no Hollows, not even the ambient spiritual particles that filled Soul Society. But there was... something else. A different kind of energy, ancient and heavy, saturating everything around me.
"Hello?" I called out again, louder this time. "Anyone here? Preferably someone who doesn't want to kill me?"
My only answer was the howling of a hot, acrid wind through the ruins.
"Of course," I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "When has anything ever been easy?"
I checked my pockets—empty except for the Soul Candy dispenser Rukia had given me. Fat lot of good that would do here when I was already in soul form. I patted my shihakushō, feeling a small lump in an inner pocket. I pulled out the combat pass Ukitake had given me just before we left Soul Society.
"At least I've got my ID," I said sarcastically to no one, turning the wooden token over in my hand. "In case anyone asks for my spiritual hall pass."
My stomach growled loudly, reminding me that even soul bodies need energy. How long had it been since I'd eaten? The battles in Soul Society, the escape, and now this... probably too long.
"Food, water, shelter, information. In that order," I decided, my dad's annoying but occasionally useful survival lectures kicking in. He'd drilled that into my head during our "father-son wilderness bonding trips" (which were really just excuses for him to ambush me with surprise attacks while I was trying to pee in the woods).
I jumped down from the outcropping, landing lightly despite my fatigue. The moment my feet touched the ground, the soil shifted beneath me. Not like normal dirt—more like it was... reacting to me.
"What the—"
The ground erupted.
A creature burst from the earth—all teeth and claws and twisted, distorted flesh. It vaguely resembled a human, if humans had gray, leathery skin, no eyes, and mouths that opened impossibly wide to reveal rows of needle-like teeth.
"Oh, come ON!" I shouted, leaping backward and drawing Zangetsu in one fluid motion. "I've been here for FIVE MINUTES!"
The creature hissed, its head swiveling toward me despite its apparent blindness.
"I don't know what you are," I said, pointing my blade at it, "but I've had a really, REALLY bad day, so you might want to reconsider—"
It lunged.
So much for diplomacy.