Monopoly.
A game that has thrived since the early 20th century, with multiple conflicting origin stories.
Some claim it was designed to expose the flaws of capitalism—where only one victor emerges by bankrupting all others. Ironically, its competitive nature made it wildly popular, overshadowing its original intent.
Of course, Fujiwara Chika's Tabletop Club-modified version was far simpler: players just needed to complete the [Youth], [Adulthood], [Middle Age], and [Elderly] zones, with rankings determined by final scores.
At least, that's how it's supposed to work.
Given Takakai's memories of the original series, Chika's version likely included absurd twists like [Get Hit by a Truck on Turn One] or [Give Birth to Nine Children]. He could only wonder what fresh chaos awaited in this world's iteration.
"So, basically, we roll dice and move pieces, right?"
Shiomiya Maki, seated to Takakai's left, casually tossed two dice in her palm.
"Yep! Super simple~"
Chika, on his right, grinned like a sunbeam, her excitement palpable.
"Then who goes first?"
Kaguya, facing the trio, maintained a stoic expression—though her eyes kept darting between them.
Why are they sitting like this?
Why am I the only one on this side?!
This feels less like a four-player game and more like I'm being ganged up on!
Her eyebrow twitched, but she swallowed her outrage.
"I'll start. A six means... move six spaces?"
Maki rolled the dice.
"Mhm! Let's see where Maki-chan lands..."
Chika leaned forward eagerly.
The four had gathered in Chika's room after initial reluctance from Kaguya (who only joined when Takakai expressed interest and Maki refused to let him be alone with Chika).
Please don't let this be too bizarre.
Kaguya prayed silently.
"Oops! Maki-chan drew a [Misfortune Card]! Let's see... ah! [Heartbroken by a Scoundrel]. Now you [Distrust Men]!"
"Hold on—how does this make sense in the [Youth] zone?!"
Maki glared, but Chika innocently displayed the rulebook, leaving her no recourse.
"Teen girls getting played by older guys isn't that rare," Takakai mused.
"Are you describing yourself?"
Maki's gaze sharpened.
"I'm upfront about my desires—no deception here. When have I ever lied during our—"
"Stop talking. Next player."
Blushing, Maki clamped a hand over his mouth.
The casual intimacy made Chika smirk and Kaguya frown, but neither commented.
After several rounds in the [Youth] zone, Maki and Kaguya tied for first—one via [Sudden Windfall], the other [Inheritance]. Chika trailed modestly, while Takakai...
"Two [Scumbag Cards]? Really?!"
He stared at the [Seduced Innocents for Wealth] penalties before him.
"Fitting, don't you think?"
Maki's smile was sweetly venomous.
Then she drew another [Misfortune Card]:
[Heartbroken by a Wicked Woman].
Lose 1/3 assets. Gain [Distrust Women].
"What kind of tragic backstory is this?!"
Maki's eye twitched.
"It's just a game. Meanwhile, I'm branded a double scumbag."
Takakai's attempt to lighten the mood failed as Kaguya landed on [Marriage].
Marriage?
Maki froze.
"Oho~ The bride may wed the nearest player!"
Chika's eyes sparkled.
The nearest player?
Maki.
Their mutual disgust was instantaneous.
"Ah, but Maki-chan has [Distrust Women], so she can't marry another girl. That means... Hiroshi~!"
Kaguya's breath hitched as her gaze met Takakai's.
Marriage?
To Hiroshi?
It's just a game. Don't overthink it. This isn't part of the plan—
Her lips fought a traitorous upward curl.
Then she noticed Maki's trembling fists and wide, glistening eyes.
"The happy couple receives ¥50,000 in gifts from other players! Congrats~"
Maki numbly pulled out her wallet.
Kaguya reflexively reached for the cash—
"It's fake money. Game money."
Takakai coughed, shooting Chika a look. The girl's poorly hidden glee confirmed his suspicions.
The game progressed.
Takakai and Kaguya soon landed on [Parenthood], promptly "having twins." Maki nearly pulled out real cash again for the "gift."
Chika's luck, however, was comically awful—[Car Crash], [Bankruptcy], and ¥1 billion in debt by [Middle Age]. Not that she cared, too busy reveling in the others' misery.
"Seven kids now. At this rate, we'll hit double digits before [Elderly]."
Takakai eyed the [Parenthood] space his piece had landed on again.
"J-Just a game..."
Kaguya's voice was faint, her face downturned.
Maki, now the richest player thanks to lucky draws, felt no joy—only the searing injustice of watching "Hiroshi and Kaguya" pop out babies like a vending machine.
Then—salvation.
Kaguya drew [Divorce - Infidelity], discovering Takakai's "affair." Their "marriage" dissolved, with Takakai ordered to pay "child support" for their seven "children," bankrupting him.
"Divorced... over cheating..."
Kaguya looked genuinely wounded.
"Is this karma or is Chika rigging this?"
Takakai squinted at Chika, who blinked back with angelic innocence.
"Sucks to be you~"
Maki's sunny grin returned.
Then she drew [Marriage].
Chika's smile turned demonic.
Maki's cheeks pinked as she glanced at Takakai—the "closest" player.
"Normally, you'd wed the nearest player, but [Distrust Men] blocks Hiroshi. Second closest is Kaguya-san, but [Distrust Women] blocks her too. And you can't marry me either~"
Chika tapped her chin.
"So... the card does nothing?"
"Of course not! I'd never leave a deadlock!"
Her notebook dropped, revealing a Cheshire grin.
"The solution? You marry everyone! A big, happy harem—DOKI DOKI~"
Takakai applauded the brilliance.
Kaguya bluescreened.
Maki's brain short-circuited as Chika ruffled her hair.
"WHAT KIND OF RULE IS THAT?!"
Her shriek came just before landing on—you guessed it—[Parenthood].
Per Chika's rules, this meant all her "spouses" got pregnant.
Gender irrelevant.
"So you're the isekai protagonist here?"
Takakai eyed Maki.
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS!!"
"Aww, I rolled a six! Twins for Maki-chan~"
Chika cackled.
"STOP TALKING—WAIT, HIROSHI, WHY ARE YOU ROLLING?!"
"Curious if I can get twins too."
"DON'T YOU DARE—!"
"Kaguya-san hasn't moved in 10 minutes. Did she fall asleep?"
"Pretty sure she's crashed."
"How can two women have kids...?"
"That's what you're stuck on? I'm still processing male pregnancy."
"Huh?"
"Your turn to roll for childbirth."
"WHAAAA—?!"
By some metric, Chika's game was a success—the room vibrated with (mostly horrified) energy.
Though neither Maki nor Kaguya ever wanted to play again.