Xiao Yan remained frozen, arms crossed over his chest as if his virtue was at stake. His face was caught somewhere between horror and fury, staring at Kaiser like he had committed an unspeakable crime.
Kaiser, on the other hand, had never looked more disgusted in his life. His eyes twitched violently as his tail stiffened in sheer revulsion.
"The hell is wrong with you?!" Kaiser snapped, rubbing his temples like he had a migraine. "Why would I even—ugh! I feel like I need to take a bath just from hearing that!"
[Ding! System Notification]
[Mission Progress: 2%]
[System: Nice! Kid's definitely falling for you. Keep up the good work!]
Kaiser's eye twitched. "I swear to god—"
[System: Ooh, just thinking about Yun Yun is breaking my non-existent heart. All that time flirting and fucking around with her, only to betray her for a younger man? Smh.]
"SHUT UP."
Xiao Yan, still traumatized, glared suspiciously. "Then explain why I woke up in your bed."
Kaiser groaned, dramatically throwing his hands up. "Because, dumbass, you passed out from our fight, and I wasn't about to leave you face-down in the dirt like roadkill. You should be thanking me!"
Xiao Yan blinked. Then blinked again. "…I hate that I can't argue with that."
Before Kaiser could retort, an amused chuckle echoed through the room. Both of them snapped their heads toward the source—Yao Lao was floating in midair, arms crossed, a wide grin on his spectral face.
"Oh, don't mind me," the old ghost said, stroking his beard. "I was just enjoying the show."
Xiao Yan flinched. "M-Master?!"
Kaiser narrowed his eyes. "So you really were just watching the whole time?"
Yao Lao laughed. "Of course. How could I miss such a… fascinating interaction?"
Xiao Yan turned red. "There was no 'interaction' to watch!"
Yao Lao smirked. "Then why were you covering your chest?"
Xiao Yan choked. "I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS INSTINCT!"
Kaiser gagged. "Never. Say. That. Again."
[System: Oh wow, now you're making it sound even worse. Nice going.]
"SHUT UP, SYSTEM!"
Xiao Yan pointed an accusing finger. "Who is he talking to?"
Yao Lao shrugged. "The voices in his head, probably."
Xiao Yan paled. "Oh great. I'm stuck with a crazy person."
Kaiser massaged his temples again. "This is why I don't make friends."
Xiao Yan finally took in his surroundings and frowned. "Where the hell are we?"
"My house," Kaiser replied casually.
Xiao Yan squinted at the smooth metallic walls. "This is a house?" He knocked on the wall. "This doesn't feel like stone or wood."
Kaiser smirked. "Modern materials. Bet you've never seen anything like it."
"No, because it looks like it came from another world!" Xiao Yan snapped, his brain overheating. "What's next? A door that opens by itself?"
Kaiser looked at him "Apparently yes".
Kaiser pressed a button. The door slid open with a soft whoosh.
Xiao Yan jumped back. "WHAT THE—"
Yao Lao chuckled. "Boy, I do believe he's a sorcerer."
Xiao Yan gulped. "I might actually believe that…"
Kaiser rolled his eyes. "Relax, it's just automatic."
Xiao Yan glared. "I hate this place."
[System: Progress update!]
[Mission: Become Xiao Yan's Brother]
[Progress: 3%]
[System: Looks like he's warming up to you. Maybe next, he'll ask for a bedtime story?]
Kaiser clenched his fists. "I swear to everything holy, I will rip you out of my soul and drown you in molten lava."
Yao Lao and Xiao Yan just stared at him.
"…Yeah, definitely crazy," Xiao Yan muttered.
Kaiser groaned. "Whatever. I'm starving. Let's eat."
They went downstairs into a massive dining area. Xiao Yan and Yao Lao froze at the sheer scale of it. It wasn't a dining room—it was a banquet hall fit for royalty.
Kaiser gestured to the table. "Sit."
He then went to the kitchen and, with a flick of his wrist, began pulling out plates. One after another, food materialized. Meat, soup, entire roasted turkeys, desserts stacked like a tower—it was enough to feed an army.
Xiao Yan's jaw dropped. "Where is all this coming from?!"
"Out of thin air," Kaiser said nonchalantly.
Yao Lao floated forward. "Impossible…" He inspected the food and felt an energy emanating from it. His eyes widened. "This food… it contains spirit energy?"
Kaiser smirked. "Yup. Turns out I can make ghost food. Who knew?"
Yao Lao hesitated. Then, breaking all logic, he somehow started eating.
Xiao Yan, mid-chew, paused and stared. "How are you doing that? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A BODY!"
Yao Lao shrugged. "If you had food this good, you'd find a way too."
Xiao Yan sighed. "You're both freaks."
Then they saw Kaiser eat.
The plates vanished at an alarming rate. A whole turkey disappeared in seconds. Bowls of soup downed like water. Meat devoured like a beast starved for weeks.
Xiao Yan and Yao Lao went silent.
[System: Progress 4%! Congratulations, they now fear you!]
Xiao Yan swallowed nervously. "Are you even human?"
Kaiser smirked. "Nope."
Xiao Yan paled. "I was joking."
Kaiser grinned. "I wasn't."
Xiao Yan decided then and there—he would never challenge Kaiser to an eating contest. Or any contest. Ever.
[System: Congratulations. Xiao Yan and Yao Lao are shocked.
Title earned : Glutton from hell.
You know terrifying Xiao Yan like this won't help in him developing feelings for you. Try spoon feeding him. Or make him sit on your lap aswell like you did to Yun Yun. As a matter of fact you can also grab some cherries that Yun Yun lacked. *Wink*].
Kaiser almost chocked on his food.
"I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU"
he growled. Xiao Yan and Yao lao just looked at him like he is crazy.