"I think I'll pass." Jane picked up her purse and stood, knowing full well that this would be a buzzkill, but attending the party in the first place had been her absolute limit.
The guys who were interested in her, naturally, didn't want their prey to slip away. They launched into a full-court press of persuasion.
"Are you sure? It's a really great karaoke place. Mike shelled out a ton of cash to reserve a private room."
"Just stay a little longer. It's right next door. Don't worry, we'll make sure you get home safely if it gets too late."
The girls chimed in, too: "Yeah, Jane, it's rare for you to loosen up like this. Don't ruin the mood for everyone."
But Jane was unmoved.
"Sorry." She looked at Laura, with whom she had a closer connection. "You know, Laura, I have something I have to do tomorrow. I really can't stay any longer."
At that point, the girls relented. Their primary goal in bringing Jane along had been to use her looks to attract some high-quality guys, and that objective had been achieved. Keeping Jane around might actually backfire now.
The guys, though disappointed, didn't press the issue further to avoid raising suspicion.
Just hope the drugs don't kick in too soon, please let her just pass out on the street.
Just as Jane was about to leave, Saiki Kusuo, having contentedly devoured his parfait, also stood up.
"Well then, I'll be taking my leave as well."
"Hey, Peter, what are you doing?!" Ned complained, clearly unhappy.
Having eaten his fill of the delectable dessert, there was no further need for Saiki to stay. As for Ned, out of consideration for Peter, Saiki would quietly observe their situation from home using his X-ray vision. If any danger arose, he would rescue Ned.
"If I get home too late, Aunt May will worry, Ned. You should understand that."
"I don't understand." Ned's voice held a hint of resentment. Because of his friend's party-pooping, the older students were now giving him annoyed and disapproving looks. This kind of opportunity would definitely never come their way again.
"You wouldn't happen to be leaving because Mary Jane is leaving, would you? Hoping to walk her home and get closer to her?"
(Ned, please promise me you won't overthink things like a street-side fortune teller.)
"Hmph, Peter, you selfish jerk, prioritizing romance over friendship!"
(I told you, I just want to go home.)
"But considering you've been single for over ten years, I'll forgive you. I'm also kind of interested in Mary Jane, but I know my limits. Go for it, you idiot! If you can't win Mary Jane over, I'll look down on you!"
(This guy is completely impossible to reason with.)
Suddenly branded as having ulterior motives regarding Mary Jane, Saiki Kusuo left under the envious, jealous, and hateful gazes of the guys.
Watching the two figures disappear, the girls huddled together, whispering.
Laura: "Will they be okay? What if the drugs kick in halfway and they pass out together and get found by the cops?"
Mora: "Relax, Jane's drink had a very small dose, enough to get her home. As for that poor loser, Jane wouldn't be interested in him. She'll get rid of him quickly. If he passes out on the way, it's not our problem."
Meanwhile, the guys were also whispering among themselves.
Mike: "I gave both of them a pretty strong dose. What if they end up, you know, together on the way? Just thinking about my goddess being defiled like that makes it hard to breathe. I'm so upset I could faint."
Ryan: "Don't be ridiculous. Does that Parker kid even stand a chance? I bet Mary Jane will ditch him halfway. I just got Mary Jane's address from the girls. Once we deal with these girls, I'll go after Mary Jane. As for that Parker guy, let him freeze on the street all night."
(Looks like Ned isn't the only unpopular one; Peter's in the same boat.)
Monitoring their every move, Saiki Kusuo planned to find an empty place to teleport home. He was so focused that he didn't realize he was actually following behind Jane.
Overhearing Ned's teasing as he left, Mary Jane naturally misunderstood his actions, so she stopped and turned to face him.
"Parker."
Her sudden voice startled Saiki Kusuo out of his X-ray vision, and the name she called out almost made him not realize she was talking to him.
"What is it?"
"My home isn't far from here." Jane patiently, and subtly, tried to reject him.
Unexpectedly, Saiki Kusuo countered, "And?"
Jane: "..."
This guy is playing dumb. Does he think I won't reject him outright?
Jane coughed lightly. "What I mean is, I don't need you to walk me home. Let's go our separate ways here."
On the surface, it was a polite refusal, but internally, she was already starting to get impatient.
(Don't keep pestering me, just get lost, kid.)
Saiki Kusuo: "..."
What did I do to make her misunderstand?
To avoid causing any misunderstandings and causing unnecessary trouble for Peter, Saiki Kusuo felt it was necessary to clarify on Peter's behalf.
He pointed to a street on Jane's left, which happened to be in the opposite direction of her home. "Don't get the wrong idea. It's just that we happen to be going the same way. I had no intention of walking you home."
Jane: "..."
(Good, this way she won't misunderstand Peter...)
[What a jerk, this guy. He's not a gentleman at all. I'd better avoid him next time.]
Although Jane had no interest in Saiki Kusuo, his clean and decisive rebuttal made her previous words seem presumptuous.
Saiki Kusuo: "..."
(I clearly explained it, so why is she still dissatisfied? Women are just too hard to understand!)
Realizing that there was no way to salvage Peter's image in Jane's mind, Saiki Kusuo stepped past Jane, preparing to leave.
"Yo, today's my lucky day. I stumbled upon a real hottie."
A flippant voice sounded from behind, causing Saiki Kusuo to pause.
Turning his head, he saw a man, whose appearance screamed "trouble," blocking Jane's path. Several of his lackeys also took the opportunity to surround her.
(Good grief, at night, all sorts of weirdos come out.)
Saiki Kusuo was just about to intervene to help Jane when he realized that Ned was also in trouble on the other side.
Without Jane, Ned had shifted his focus to Linda, whom he'd had his eye on earlier. Unfortunately, he was clumsy and foolish, and his boasting only made her feel he was shallow and annoying.
(Idiot, how can you pursue a girl if you don't know how to cater to her interests? Although your relationship status is none of my business, it was my fault for leaving you there. I'll help you out. Use the power of love to reform that girl, Ned.)
Sensing the awkward atmosphere, Ned tried to salvage the situation when Saiki Kusuo's suggestion suddenly popped into his head.
"Lego? That's right, Lego! I recently bought a limited edition Lego set."
Ned's sudden words caught the attention of Linda, who was also a Lego enthusiast. For the first time, she spoke up proactively.
"You like Lego too?"
"Of course," Ned said proudly. "It's a must-have for every guy in America."
"..." Linda was visibly taken aback, swallowing her words.
(That's it, this guy is completely hopeless.)
"Hey, kid, are you trying to play the hero?"
While he was observing Ned's situation, he'd already approached Jane, assuming a "hero to the rescue" stance.
However, his X-ray vision hadn't had time to retract yet, and when he looked up, his crossed eyes startled the thug.
"Whoa! This guy, with a face like that, shouldn't be out scaring people in the middle of the night."
Jane had already given up on expecting a thug to be easily scared. She was used to this kind of situation and calmly reached into her pocket, planning to call the police.
But the experienced thugs stopped her.
The leader grabbed the hand she was using to reach for her phone and held it above her head.
"Miss, don't get any bright ideas."
Jane used her free hand to grip her bag and swung it hard at him. The thug, caught off guard by the pain, loosened his grip. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Jane turned to Saiki Kusuo. "Parker, run! Go call the police!"
(Why do I feel like their roles are reversed?)
"Cheers!"
The sound from Ned's side also carried over. Suspecting that the drugs hadn't been strong enough, the guys and girls raised their glasses of spiked beer, intending to finish each other off completely.
(Seriously, both sides are so troublesome.)
Just as the thug leader, enraged, was about to slap Jane, Saiki Kusuo used his powers to push the man away.
His divided attention caused him to misjudge his strength, sending the thug leader flying over ten meters.
"Boss!"
"Boss, are you okay?!"
Simultaneously, he controlled Ned to trip, causing him to spill all the drinks in everyone's hands.
This was the last of the drugs, the hard-earned fruits of a large sum of money, now ruined. Both the guys and girls turned to Ned with furious expressions.
Guy: "Aaaaaah, you bastard! You ruined everything!"
Girl: "Do you have any idea how much that drug cost me?"
Guy: "What? You guys drugged us too?"
Girl: "What? You did too?"
Guys/Girls: "You drugged me! You're finished, I'm calling the police!"
The guys and girls, having exposed each other, exchanged cold huffs and parted ways after uttering threats.
Only a bewildered Ned remained in the private room. He didn't understand why the atmosphere had been fine just a moment ago and then suddenly turned sour. Speaking of which, had the bill for the room been paid? He didn't have that kind of money!
(Okay, one down.)
Saiki Kusuo retracted his X-ray vision and began to focus on dealing with the thugs.
The thug who'd been thrown didn't back down. Instead, he felt that Jane had made him lose face in front of his underlings and was aggressively looking to settle the score.
Peter's image among the students was that of an easily bullied, weak, and overly-nice guy. Saiki Kusuo, feeling responsible for petrifying the man earlier, didn't want to act out of character for Peter, so he decided to alter Mary Jane's appearance and call the cops.
Thinking she couldn't escape, Jane was desperately trying to think of a way to get Saiki Kusuo to leave. Unexpectedly, the aggressive thugs stopped in their tracks after taking a good look at her.
"Ugh, on closer inspection, this chick is ugly."
Jane: "???"
"Yeah, she's got a beefy face and a butt chin. Disgusting. Is this thing even a woman?"
Jane: "..."
"She's got no boobs, she's definitely a guy! Hey, this freak isn't one of those cross-dressing perverts, is he?"
"What the hell? Let's go, what if this psycho attacks us?"
Jane: "..."
(Nendou's face is surprisingly useful. Problem solved!)
Watching the thugs walk away, Jane's face flushed with anger. She still couldn't resist asking Saiki Kusuo, "Am I ugly?"
Unsure how to answer, Saiki Kusuo silently averted his gaze.
Jane pressed, "Be honest."
Forced to answer, Saiki Kusuo decided to earn some goodwill for Peter: "They have no taste. You're actually very beautiful."
If he'd said that to Kokomi Teruhashi, she would probably have fainted from happiness.
However, Jane's mood worsened. She glared at Saiki Kusuo and snapped, "You're such a phony." Then she turned and left.
Saiki was left behind, his thoughts a rapid-fire stream of (What? What did I do wrong? Women are so hard to understand.)
Nendou Riki and Kokomi Teruhashi are both characters from the series The Disastrous Life of Saiki K., with Nendou being one of the main characters.