It was nearly six o'clock, and all five children were enjoying themselves in the pool while the adults cozied up in the sitting area. Liz and Domino had quickly adjusted to their new situation and were relaxed. The ladies noticed that Jon was a little tense. Elise had explained to them that it had to do with what was coming up at seven o'clock. That he would have to do something that he was not at all comfortable with, but that he could not avoid. From time-to-time Jon walked back and forth to the kitchen to check on the roast he was preparing. At six o'clock they heard the doorbell ringing. He got his familiar smirk on his face and said:
"Ah, right on time."
He called to the children in the pool:
"Hey, you guys over there, come on out of there for a moment. I need you for a minute."
He waited quietly for them to reach the seating area while they quickly dried off.
"Right, well now that we are complete, if the ladies and the gentleman would please follow me."
He stood and walked to the front door, followed by the others. In the driveway they stood as if nailed to the ground, watching. Waiting in the driveway were four brand-new cars, each with a large red ribbon on the hood. Jon gave them no chance to recover and showed no mercy for the state of their brains. He said:
"Okay, gray is for mom. Smaller than the Escalade but still very safe. The blue is for Liz because it's time you got your own wheels again. I really can't go everywhere with you, if we let this thing we are going to do break loose. The red and yellow are for Fay and Hope. I know you got your license and sacrificed every penny of your savings for it. I would say enjoy it, ladies. Oh yes, Fay and Hope, I always expect three things from you when you are out in your little cars. Always buckle up, no exceptions, obey the speed limit, and never, ever talk or text while driving! If any of these rules are broken, you will be intimately involved in the maintenance of the garden and pool. And all your electronic devices, including your cell phones, will magically stop working for a month!"
He left the stunned girls and went to his kitchen. But he didn't really have a moment of peace and quiet in there for very long. The whole gang stormed into the kitchen, and he was showered with hugs from all sides as he heard a cacophony of what he thought were thank you.
In the garden sitting area, the atmosphere remained extremely cheerful until Jon suddenly said coldly:
"Okay, everyone. You need to go inside with Elise now and don't come out until she says so. No excuses, no exceptions."
He stood up and snapped his fingers. Suddenly he was back in his black outfit. Fay asked:
"What's going on, Daddy?"
"No worries baby, nothing is wrong. I am going to have to put Rae Rae and Zelo in their place for a while. They need to see that they're not dealing with their brother for a while but with their Crown Prince."
Everyone got up and quickly followed Elise inside. Only when he was alone in the garden did he light a cigarette and waited for the time to pass.
Shortly before seven, he moved to the edge of the pool and pulled the balaclava over his face. Showing the skull to Zelo and Rae Rae would make them realize the absolute seriousness of the situation, that he was not playing around and could pounce at any moment. Seemingly perfectly relaxed, waiting for the Angel and the Demon. But this appearance was deceptive. He was steeling himself. What was about to happen would either be shock therapy or a complete fiasco. At the stroke of seven, Azrael and Zelo appeared in the garden. They saw each other and immediately jumped into a fighting stance. Jon snapped his fingers and was furious. He had hoped they would use their wits at least a little. The two stood motionless, unable to move, as they saw the Antichrist standing in his black gear, his eyes blazing with hellfire in all its intensity. He bit at them icily:
"What the hell do you think you are doing? This is my house, my daughters live here, my wife lives here, my friends and other innocents come into this house! Are you going to fight to the death in my yard, raze a few square miles to the ground thanks to your powers, and murder thousands of innocent people? Not to mention KILLING MY FUCKING FAMILY? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING? In a few seconds, I'll make sure you can move again. If you so much as breathe the wrong way, I swear to Grandma it will be the very last thing you have done in your entire existence!"
He snapped his fingers. Rae Rae said:
"I'm sorry Jon, I wasn't thinking."
He hissed:
"Would you mind repeating that, Azrael?"
She understood the undertone immediately. His combat gear, in his own home, the full use of her name, told it all.
Quickly she said:
"I'm sorry, My Lord."
Zelo did not remain behind:
"My Lord, please forgive me."
"This is my home, our sanctuary. You don't have to love each other, no one is asking you to fuck each other. If you can't be polite in this house, then fuck off, I have no use for you. Go and be damned because I don't want to see you here again! Rae Rae, you know I have a group of Demons that mean a lot to me. You've known about this group since I was a few years old, probably even before. Has it never occurred to you that I see them as I see you? And now you want to KILL MY LITTLE BROTHER in MY HOUSE! Zelo, you have known for years what my Angels mean to me and now in MY HOUSE, you want to KILL MY LITTLE SISTER in front of MY WIFE AND DAUGHTERS! HAVE YOU BOTH GONE CRAZY? I SHOULD WRING YOUR NECKS, VERY, VERY SLOWLY!"
The two knew they fully deserved this verbal pandering.
"You guys are about to park your asses in a seat. You are going to take a deep breath and get comfortable. We are having a family dinner because we are family, and so we are going to act like a damn normal, functioning family! AND NOT LIKE GRANDPA, MICHAEL AND MY DAD! You will be damn polite when the girls, my guests, and my goddess come out! YOU WERE A SPLIT SECOND AWAY FROM UNLEASHING CELESTIAL POWERS AND VIOLENCE AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF THAT VIOLENCE WITH MY DAUGHTERS, WIFE, AND FRIENDS A FEW FEET AWAY! THIS IS SO NOT THE TIME TO TEST MY PATIENCE BECAUSE I AM SO CLOSE TO BURNING BOTH OF YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE RIGHT NOW! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT?"
The two nodded meekly and said simultaneously:
"Yes, My Lord."
His voice returned to a normal level. He snapped his fingers and his equipment disappeared.
"Right, I've got some bottles, let's go."
He dropped into an armchair in the lounge and produced a bottle of tequila for Rae Rae and a bottle of champagne for Zelo, his favorite drink on Earth. A normal person would not ask about the price tag unless they wanted to risk a stroke. Rae Rae spoke up:
"Jon, I'm really sorry."
"Shut up for two more minutes and have a drink… or two!"
He poured himself a large glass of his favorite mix and downed it in one gulp. He said quietly:
"This will not happen a second time, understood?"
They could still feel his suppressed anger and hear the ice-cold steel in his voice, but it subsided very quickly. The rather icy atmosphere was broken when the girls, Brandon, Liz, and Domino came out, followed by Elise. Jules flew over to Zelo and sat down on the seat with him.
"Uncle Demon, you are back. We read your book, it's so cool and the Italian is so funny."
Meanwhile, Sam had practically flown onto Rae Rae's lap.
"Aunt Rae Rae, Uncle Zelo gave us a book about what Hell looks like and what happens there. Is there a book like that about Heaven?"
She looked uncomprehendingly at Zelo who said with a big smile:
"Inferno..."
Rae Rae burst out laughing, breaking the ice and immediately changing the atmosphere. She said:
"No, unfortunately not honey. Your dad tried to have one made. All that happened was it gave your grandpa a headache."
"Grandpa Lu?"
"No baby, not that time, my dad, you Grandpa Robert. God himself."
Meanwhile, Elise sat back in her favorite place, Jon's lap. Fay asked:
"What did Daddy try then?"
"Girls, your dad was a first-class pain in the ass when he was a kid. Celestials cannot get headaches, but your father has a habit of doing the impossible. The many stories I have heard from his mouth, as well as the antics I have been involved in, have very often resulted in one or both of your grandfathers getting a huge headache. One day our Jon heard from B... Bearus, one of the generals in Hell, the story of how Dante managed to write his book 'Inferno'."
Both Elise and Jon had heard Rae Rae's almost slip of the tongue. Except for those from Hell who knew that Jon had christened the two generals B&B, no one used that abbreviation. Certainly, no Angel would ever use the abbreviation. Elise had felt Jon stiffen at first as every muscle tensed completely and then almost immediately relaxed completely with a knowing smile on his face. She spoke audibly only for him in his head:
"Do you see the picture any clearer now, love?"
He replied and she could see the sparkle in his eyes:
"Crystal..."
Meanwhile, Rae Rae rambled on:
"Your father obviously had a copy of this book. I think it was Bearus who gave it to him because as your father said, the General is proud to this day of his little handiwork with Dante. He was a little younger than you two, I think nine or ten. Unfortunately, I was the Angel he asked the same question you just asked. I answered your father that there was no such book. So he did what he does best, he rolled up his sleeves and got to work. When he was a kid, that was the cutest thing to see. He would think about a problem, his tongue hanging out of the edge of his mouth a little, and then you could see a light going bright in his eyes when he found a solution. First, he went to Hell to nag your Grandpa Lu, as you children seem to call the King. He had to and would know if Dante was in Hell. Lucifer knew that if your dad kept nagging, he would get nothing done and probably end up with another headache. So he took your dad to the archives and it turned out that Dante was not in Hell. Jon turned on his heels and disappeared in the direction of Heaven. There he caused quite a stir until he found Chamuel. Cam is one of the very few who can be found in the human fields, he's one of our little group. Jon asked him to find Dante's soul so he could talk to him. Once found, he convinced the writer to write another book, but this time about Heaven. Dante was very willing to do just that. The problem is that souls don't come into the city because the fields are strictly separated. Respecting the rules is sometimes not your dad's strong suit. He dragged Dante into the city and showed him every nook and cranny. Along the way, he drove almost every Angel to despair. For now, not only was there a little Antichrist roaming free in the city, which he made unsafe from time to time anyway. Now this little brat had a crazy poet with him who bombarded every Angel they met with questions. There were a lot of Angels with shocked brains that day because they were pretty much run over by a young Antichrist and a poet who fired one question after another at them. It took your grandfather Robert hours to make your father understand that this couldn't be happening. When Jon left for home, he dropped into a chair with a terrible headache. Not the first time, and certainly not the last."
This story about Jon's antics was the starting point that made everyone completely relaxed. The dinner itself was a very social affair and everyone had a good time. After dinner, it was time for business. He and Elise followed by the Demon and Angel retired to his office. They had barely taken their seats when Jon made his opening:
"Zelo, Rae Rae, I'm being played by three sides and there's a wild card in the mix. I am so fucking tired of being played like a two-dollar banjo. It stops here and it stops now! Rae Rae, I don't care what Grandpa and Grandma say. Our little group, they are not their Angels anymore, but they are my Angels from now on! Zelo, the same goes for you, I don't care what Dad says, our little group are not his Demons, they are my Demons! If you don't like that, or if you have a problem with me undermining the authority of the Devil, the Goddess, and God with these words and the actions I'm about to take, then you better get up and get out of here. Since I was nine years old, I have been robbed and asked to make sacrifices. First my mother, my youth, my life. I was asked to throw everything on the sacrificial altar because that was what was expected of me as the Antichrist. To have nothing, to be nothing, only good to provoke a war. When I refused, I had to sacrifice even more. Enough, no more sacrifices, now it is my time to do the right thing and get my pound of flesh at the same time! First, the stakes are way too high to keep secrets from each other. Second, I hate secrets. I can't stand my family keeping secrets from me, so I've never kept secrets from my family and I have never lied! You have five seconds!"
Zelo looked at him uncomprehendingly, which let Jon know that at least one of them had no secrets. Rae Rae looked down. He spoke quietly:
"Rae Rae, look at me, please."
With difficulty, she did as he asked.
"Zelo, whatever is discussed between the four of us from now on stays in this room. That includes you, Rae Rae. As I said, the stakes are far too high. If this whole thing gets out of hand, the consequences are incalculable. I can promise you that if I find that this rule is not being followed, I will remove my hands from Heaven and Hell after I have dragged Cas out of Heaven and burned Michael. After that, it will be every man for himself as far as Heaven and Hell are concerned! Is that clear? From now on, you are my own generals, you answer only to me, and you better believe it, things are going to get crazy starting tomorrow."
They both nodded in silence. He turned to Rae Rae:
"You are the go-between to deliver messages from Grandma and Grandpa to Dad, or vice versa."
"Indeed, Jon. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to say that."
"Forget it, little sis. I am slowly starting to unravel this whole story. They didn't use you as a spy, they enlisted your help. First to keep an eye on me and then to gently guide me."
Tears were now streaming down her cheeks.
"Rae Rae, did Grandma and Grandpa ask you to swear not to tell me any of this until I could somehow figure out this whole mess on my own?"
She just nodded. He looked at Elise:
"This is what they are afraid of, honey. Michael has a spy in my group. We have a traitor on this side. But I would not be surprised if Dad's side has to deal with one or more spies as well. The Demons from the lower realms are damn bloodthirsty and just as bent on war as Michael and his. Rebellion may be unheard of in heaven, but it is not uncommon in hell. I have put down a few myself and, of course, made a few enemies in the process."
He shook his head in disbelief:
"When is it going to stop? Can everyone just stop sticking a knife in my back for five damn minutes? I don't care who it is on either side, when this is all said and done we are going to have a very serious fucking conversation!"
He took a deep breath and rubbed his curls.
"I told Maggie this morning. Unfortunately, because of this little Prada killer, I haven't had time to discuss it with you, honey. I have a solution to make this work in a completely bloodless way. To accomplish this, I need two of the three parties. Little did I know this morning that I already had them, that Grandpa, Grandma, and Dad had already prepared that work. At least part of the groundwork. I do not yet know their motives for suddenly working together after thousands of years. Probably will not find out completely until I have all three of them in the same room together. When we can talk without worrying about who is in the room or who might be watching. What is most obvious, I think, is that all three of them want out and have dumped this whole mess on me. Their problem is that they can't show anything, that their only solution is for me to figure it out for myself. That's the easy part. Now we have to do the hard work to make it look like I'm doing it myself. Yes, we, all of us, because believe me, I cannot stress this enough; I CAN NOT do this alone! It has to look to everyone like I'm sick of it all and I'm going to start the apocalypse and before I do I need you to get my family to safety. That sucks too, because I can't do it until the last minute. Starting with some of you in the days leading up to it, and the rest on the night itself. The Demons and Angels must be tempted with the knowledge that their war is coming soon, for I cannot stop them forever. Michael and Dad have their strategy ready. We have to keep that idiot up there from attacking so the idiots down there can't carry out Dad's plan. Michael can think what he wants and compare himself to what is written about him in the Bible. Compared to Dad, he is a disastrous amateur. Knowing Dad, his strategy is foolproof, and there will be very little left of Heaven, Hell, and Earth when he is finished. Forget all the crap that has been written about him in the last two thousand years. None of it is true! Only a few phrases from the Bible about Lucifer are correct; he is the smartest and the strongest of the whole lot. He is methodical, practical and has an eye for detail. If it comes to a clash between Michael and Dad, forget it, there is not going to be enough left of Heaven and Earth to make it into a parking lot."
He manifested drinks for everybody, took a big swig:
"We will have to work on three fronts at once. With our plans for Deflin House, we will have to cleanse Baton Rouge of every trace of black magic. There is no time to waste, and therefore no time to be subtle. We need Deflin House to save as many white witches and other innocents as possible. This black scum and criminals who how ever remotely could cause problems needs to be wiped out of the city in a damn violent way. The criminals and the gangs need to know and understand very well to stay miles and miles away from Deflin House. And I think, unfortunately, in terms of the violence that is being spread by Los Zetas and others like them in Mexico. So that none of that black scum gets the idea of coming into the city ever again. After that, it will be a delicate balancing act with silk gloves. As I said about Heaven and Hell, their lust must be aroused enough for them to go to war quickly, but not so much that they throw open the gates right away."
The Angel started to open her mouth, but Jon raised his hand:
"Not a word Rae Rae. I don't want to know unsolicited information; I can't know unsolicited information. If the wrong Angel, or the wrong Demon for that matter, finds out in any way that I have information that I really shouldn't have, then this whole thing will collapse like a house of cards."
Zelo spoke:
"How do we solve this boss without exposing Rae Rae?"
While Elise and Jon smiled softly, Rae Rae looked at the Demon uncomprehendingly. The Demon saw her look and said irritated:
"Did the boss not speak clearly enough, did he stutter, Angel? Does he need to speak more slowly so your feathered ass can follow? To him, we are all siblings. Don't you think it's time we started acting like it? I have absolutely no desire to get involved in this damn war and meet you on that damn battlefield. Do you think I can forget about tonight and then try to put a sword in the body of the boss's little sister? Fuck no. The Boss needs our help, so we'll give it to him. Whatever it is!"
She seemed very impressed and nodded at him. Then she looked at Jon:
"Boss?"
"Rae Rae to everyone up there, it's business as usual. The only one you can say I'm completely on top is Grandma. Only Grandma Sis and only the words I will use, nothing else! The exact words I use, not one extra word!"
Elise asked:
"Why just her?"
"Because my dad knew that once I got into this, I would find out sooner or later that there was a spy in my group in Heaven. Sometimes he really does know me better than I know myself. To keep me from exploding as usual and going after this little traitor, he immediately gave me a safe way to communicate. Rae Rae, I assume you don't have direct contact with my father, that you never go to Hell itself, otherwise you wouldn't have reacted to Zelo the way you did tonight."
"We only meet on Earth."
He nodded:
"You have made B&B invisible to Heaven so that you can talk to each other in peace on Earth. And by high exception, my father, but he has always been invisible to the throne in Heaven, and more specifically to Uriel."
"Yep."
"I saw your face and your eyes, Rae Rae, when you spoke of Bearus. You are taking a hell of a risk!"
She turned red:
"I'll tell him we have to stop. At least until this is behind us."
"Like hell, you will! Is B one of your conquests, like so many on Earth over the last few thousand years, just for the fun and the sex? Or is he the one that is special to you?"
She blushed again, and that was all Jon needed to know, so he said:
"Each of us has sacrificed fucking more than enough for this idiocy. We're not playing their game anymore! We're doing it our way! You know I have a cabin in Aspen. From now on, you and B will use it to meet and relax. Just the cabin, nowhere else, Rae Rae! Oh... and don't you dare to use the master bedroom...ewww!"
Zelo sat and looked at her with a grin and said:
"Well, well, well, it's a good thing you've just been appointed General now that old Drill Sergeant can't pull his punches. Do me a favor, I'd like to see his face one morning after you pull rank."
With that, Jon burst out laughing and even got tears in his eyes. Finally, he managed to get out:
"Zelo, you couldn't be more wrong. Take a good look at Rae Rae and tell me what you see?"
The latter let his eyes pass over the angel for a moment and said:
"That fucking Rambo is lying down at the feet of that little, petite Angel who seems to love to dress as a provocative little Demon. He likes it when Rae Rae pulls rank, he likes to play house!"
He looked at Jon with undisguised pleasure:
"Boss, this whole thing needs to be fixed yesterday. I can't wait to spread the word around our little group and watch him implode!"
Rae Rae seemed to have no objection, it seemed she liked the idea of messing a bit with Bearus just as much as Zelo, as she sat there with a smile on her face as if she had just eaten the canary.
"Don't worry Zelo, we'll make it a shit show in honor of B. Rae Rae, I let Grandma know this morning in no uncertain terms what the consequences of this game could be. They are allowing Michael to set a trap for me by using Cas. And yes, thanks to Elise, I have stopped hiding and avoiding certain words or not daring to put certain feelings into words! I told her that if one hair on my daughter's head was harmed, all they would have left after I was done was a pile of ashes that once was Heaven and their Angels. You can repeat this message to B so I don't have to. In my opinion, everyone is equal before the law, including Dad. If I burn down Heaven and all its inhabitants, my next stop will be Hell, and there I'll just repeat what I did in Heaven! There will be nothing left, nothing at all!"
The Angel and the Demon had turned pale at Jon's words, knowing only too well that he was more than capable of keeping his word. Not only capable, that he would just do it when something would happen to Casiel. Jon suddenly became serious again, pain in his eyes for the umpteenth time, and he said softly:
"Rae Rae, don't fucking say anything. I'm going to tell you something, and when I'm done, you tell me if I'm right. If not, shut up. Michael uses Cas as bait. Grandpa gets Michael involved in preparing for the War, to keep him more than busy and by doing that give me time to figure out what happened. The only place she's really safe is in the suite and with Grandma, but even that's limited because she can't tell her anything either. Meanwhile, Michael is spewing his venom that I don't care about her anymore and have taken on my role as the literal Antichrist and I'm about to kill everyone in Heaven, including our little group, including Grandma and Grandpa, including her."
Rae Rae nodded in silence.
"Michael is not smart enough to come up with such a plan. So we know right away what our joker, Gabriel, has done. Unfortunately, we are no further along as far as she is concerned until we know her reason. Gabriel has always been loyal to Grandpa. Why the sudden change? Rae Rae, you have to play this part damn carefully, I want you to feel Gabriel out from afar. Has she gone over to Michael or is she playing with Grandpa and Grandma? No risks, she's one of the original Archangels, Rae Rae. Even Dad is thinking twice when it comes to Gabriel."
"Will do boss."
"Okay, there's nothing we can do about that right now. This is the first message you'll deliver to Grandma in your role as courier. Tell Grandma to keep Cas with her in the suite as much as possible. Order our small group. No, limit it to Raffa, Jo and Muriel. If possible, I want one of the four of you near her at all times. Share the fucking roll call as far as I'm concerned. Tell Grandma that if she and Grandpa don't do their utmost to keep Cas as far away from Michael and his weasels as possible, I am perfectly capable of forgetting that they are my grandparents. First, I will bring my daughter down from Heaven as soon as possible, and then I will bring my group, the Angels and the Demons together. From this absolute moment right here and now, there is no difference between the groups, you are my Celestials from this moment on! I will not tolerate any segregation among you, and I will get fucking pissed off at any prick who thinks he or she is better than the others! If anyone thinks they are better than anyone else, I will sacrifice one of my Louboutins and that Angel or Demon will get their ass kicked so hard they will have the taste of leather in their mouth for weeks! Zelo, be here tomorrow night at 7. I was planning on making some house calls, alone. That has changed, bring Argo!"
Rae Rae had gotten a hungry look and he asked with his grin:
"What's up little sis? Want to play with your little friends?"
"Oh, absolutely boss!"
"Well, if you promise to behave yourself and be a good little Angel to all your new little brothers and sisters, you can come and play tomorrow at 7 o'clock. It's going to be a shit show. First, a mediocre gangster who thinks he's the new Capone. He joins me because I have to play a word game with Dad. You get to play with his gorillas for a while. While I go to pap with Gangster Boy, make sure his gorillas appear in Baton Rouge Los Zetas style. Hang them under a bridge or on a lamppost for all I care as long as it is very public and the message cannot be misconstrued. Then a black circle and one of their henchmen. They're all coming with me, I've had enough of these idiots. From now on, we are going to take care of them. We don't have time to be nice. Rae Rae, you can play with them locally, since you can't come with me to see Dad! And for the second group, you can't look like an Angel. Got it?"
The two sat there as if they had just received a Christmas present.
Elise suddenly said with moist eyes and pain clearly audible in her voice:
"That black circle wanted to hurt Jules and cause her a lot of pain!"
Zelo said with a mean smile and a steely look:
"Lady boss, you don't want to know the details, but you can assure yourself that they will never be able to do it with another girl and they will damn well regret ever having come after Jules and you. From what I have heard in Hell, the King has put his entire army and his generals under Jon's command to protect you and our Princesses with our lives. I may be the only one you see at the moment Elise but in reality, your family and everyone you and Jon see as family is surrounded by thousands of bodyguards, and one by one, they take their job fucking seriously!"
Jon stood up straight, the sign that this meeting was over:
"Good, let's go enjoy our company. Tomorrow, it starts!"