Jules was startled awake from a bad dream in the middle of the night. She was sleeping in the same bed as her mother. The trauma was still too great, too fresh, for her to sleep alone in a strange bed in a strange room in a strange place. She may have only been half awake, but everything inside her screamed that she needed Jon's protective arms. The man she had only recently met, but to whom she felt an inexplicable connection. The man she knew instinctively could and would protect her from all the darkness in the world. Gently, she slipped out of bed so as not to wake her mother and crept to Jon's room. Silently she opened the door and saw him lying in the dim light. Still in a deep sleep, but every muscle on his face was contorted. She could just sense that he was in deep pain. As gently as she had slipped out of one bed, she crawled into his. She lay down with her head against his bare chest, as if she wanted to hide inside him. She could clearly hear his heart beating. Even though he was unaware that she had crawled into bed with him, he put an arm around her and pulled her protectively closer to him. In no time she had fallen into a deep sleep. Early in the morning, Elise woke up and immediately noticed that Jules was gone. She panicked a bit and quickly went looking for her daughter. She did not find her in the living room or in the room that had been prepared for her. She went to Jon's bedroom and opened the door quietly so as not to wake him. Elise saw Jon lying there with a peaceful expression on his face, all harshness gone. Jules' head was sticking out of the sheets, and she had a blissful smile on her face. She couldn't help it, but the sight of her daughter and Jon sleeping so peacefully in a tight embrace brought tears to her eyes. Somehow Jonathan had to have manifested his wings, and his left wing lay over the girl like a protective blanket. Elise had to swallow for a moment when she saw the Heavenly white feathers with a golden glow. She wanted to go to them and touch the feathers but restrained herself at the last moment. She gently closed the door and went to make herself a cup of tea. Another hour later, Jules woke up, looked at Jon, and noticed that he was still sound asleep, so she gently slipped out of bed for the third time that morning. In the living room, Elise sat and waited in silence. When she saw her daughter sneaking out of Jon's room, she smiled warmly. She asked quietly:
"Sleep well, honey?"
The girl blushed a little and replied:
"Yes, Mommy, very well."
"I have tea, honey; come on."
Jules took a seat on the sofa, and Elise poured a cup for the girl.
As she did so, she felt that Jon was awake but made no attempt to get out of bed. He had been awake for some time and had noticed the girl lying next to him, retracted his wings, and had not wanted to wake her. When she left the room, he sat upright against the headboard of the bed. He manifested a cup of coffee, an ashtray, and his cigarettes. He tried to calm the jumble of thoughts in his head and the flood of emotions in his heart. An endeavor in which he did not really succeed. For the umpteenth time, he cursed himself and wondered why he had to collapse yesterday before he could run away. Without that collapse, he would have been long gone by now. He felt completely empty. Like something that had been eaten and regurgitated. He manifested his MP3 player and headphones, hoping the raw rock would silence his thoughts. After a few minutes, he ripped the headphones from his head and threw them angrily against the door of his bathroom. The door shattered, and the headphones, or what was left of them, flew through, straight into the bathroom. Having supernatural powers like the Celestials was sometimes useful and sometimes, as in this case, particularly annoying. Elise and Jules, of course, had heard the noise in the room and flew in, startled. When they looked at him, he said calmly:
"What? I thought this song was absolutely nauseating."
Elise got a smile on her face and said:
"I'm going to order breakfast; you have to eat something, Jon."
He was in no mood to be the sunshine of the house and said:
"I don't have to do anything, Red. I'm not hungry."
With a snap of his fingers, the door was repaired, and the headphones lay undamaged on the nightstand. Elise nodded and had to push Jules a little when she tried to leave the room in silence. Jon immediately regretted his actions and words. He pulled on sweatpants but otherwise didn't bother. He stepped into the living room on his bare feet and bare chest. Elise saw him enter and had to swallow in silence for a moment. After everything that had happened so quickly, she now had a chance to look at him closely. Six feet, maybe a little more. A strong face and the greenest eyes she had ever seen, except for Jules', which were suspiciously like his. Wild blond curls down to his shoulders. Broad shoulders, very well-muscled but not overly so, and a perfect six-pack. The only words that came to her mind were Greek God. He dropped into a seat, manifested a new cup of coffee, and said:
"Ladies, I'm sorry I was so short. It was not on purpose."
Elise nodded:
"No big deal, Jon. Obviously the last few days have been too much for all three of us."
In silence, he looked into her bright blue eyes and just nodded. He tried to enjoy his coffee, but he was too tense. There was a knock at the door; breakfast had arrived. Elise got up to let the waiter in. He quickly manifested his money clip and tossed it gently to Elise, who just managed to catch it. She didn't have to ask why; she had seen how generous he was with his tips. The waiter came in and, at Elise's direction, placed the cart near the dining table. Elise and Jules took their seats and began to enjoy their breakfast. Jon just continued to stare ahead in silence. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Jules was looking at him and Elise was saying something to the girl, but he couldn't hear it. He couldn't get his thoughts and feelings straight. After breakfast, the two of them went to the shower and got dressed. He could not bring himself to get up and go to his bathroom. When they reappeared in the living room, he sensed that Jules was disappointed and a little sad when he made no attempt to move. He cursed himself for the umpteenth time. He couldn't bring himself to say no to the girl, but he also couldn't bring himself to say many words. He sighed deeply, made a brush and a hair tie appear, and said:
"Jules."
It didn't matter to the girl if he used many words or not; even the flat tone in his voice she ignored. She jumped up and sat down on the floor between his legs. In silence, he made her a ponytail while Elise watched the scene with a loving look. Jules made no move to get up when he finished and leaned against one of his legs. His muscles immediately stiffened again. Something that surely could not have escaped Elise's notice this time, since he was in his bare chest and his muscles were more than clearly outlined. After a few minutes, he asked:
"Red, what did Rae Rae tell you?"
"Quite a lot, but I'd rather hear it from you, Jon."
The silence returned for a while, then he said:
"What do you want to know?"
"How are you feeling?"
"Like something just eaten by a hellhound and then immediately thrown up."
He sighed deeply again:
"Elise, I have no idea what is happening to me right now. I don't know this feeling; I've never felt it before. I am aware that my heart is aching for more, and I know this is the right path. No matter what I try, no matter how much I want to get rid of this feeling, I absolutely can't. I am so damn scared, and I have never been scared in my life. Except for a while after my mom died. I walk through hell whistling Dixie and hell is an amusement park compared to what I'm feeling right now. I am the Antichrist and everything good and positive is foreign to me. Ever since I told my family they could fuck off with their master plan, one thing after another has been happening to me. As if something or someone is pushing me from one point to another and tearing me to pieces at the same time. A few hours after I started my new life, I met you two. My whole plan was immediately ruined. I have had an especially hard time since I walked away from that meeting."
He pointed to the girl sitting between his legs:
"When you took your seats on that bench at the picnic table and I looked into your eyes, I knew I was lost, that misery would follow. But I could not turn my back on you. Every fiber in me screamed that I had to do exactly that to keep myself afloat, and yet I couldn't. I had known for several days that I was about to break, and you were the catalyst that led to what happened to me yesterday. If I'm being completely honest with you, my mind is racing and my heart is filled with fear that this could all be a fleeting illusion. My soul screams for more. But I am afraid to fuck this up because this is totally foreign to me. Oh man, how fucked up I am right now.
"Have you ever had a real family?"
"No, my family isn't really normal. Since I'm half-human, I had to grow up on Earth. Yes, I can visit heaven or hell, but neither is my home. I was conceived to be the Antichrist, nothing more, nothing less. I am a weapon, a thing to start a war! Affection has nothing to do with it. I have always been a thing for both sides and a thing the people of Earth fear. My mother died when I was nine years old, and I suspect someone had a hand in her death. She was light and all warmth. I was able to visit her in heaven a few times. But I had to stop soon. The chance that Michael would do something to hurt her soul was more than real. That serpent would spare no effort to inflict a blow on me. After that, my entire childhood was artificial and staged, surrounded by strangers who pretended to be my family to the outside world. All the Angels are technically my family. But they don't see it that way; they see me as the starting gun for their cursed war. I only had a good bond with a few; the youngest ones created after my father landed in Hell. The best bond I had, as I'm sure you already know, was with Rae Rae and my grandparents. But with that thing that Gramps put in front of me at the last meeting and what I threw at him and my dad? I don't know if that relationship can ever be mended."
"Jonathan, I want you to be a part of my life, of our life. I feel terrible about what was done to you and how you had to grow up, and I want to help you find your way to real happiness, real love. So let Jules and me into your heart. Everything will be okay. Jules and I can take you from something to someone. You are not a weapon; you are not a thing."
"I want to believe you, Red, but I wouldn't know where to start. What I do know is that I want to be with you. That your little Bwitch did something to my heart, but I don't know what."
"What you feel is the feeling you get from being a good man, a good father like you are, Jon. Jules may not be your daughter by blood, but she is your daughter in the truest sense of the word, and nothing can change that. Jules is not the first to make you feel this way; Casiel is a daughter to you as well. You have to allow yourself to accept that, Jon."
Jules turned to him and asked with tears running down her cheeks:
"Yes, Jon, please stay with us. You are the daddy I have dreamed of for so long. Please be my daddy."
She jumped up and practically flew into his lap, where he held her in a tight embrace. The girl pressed her face into him and cried softly. Instinctively, he kissed her gently on the head. He sighed deeply and replied:
"I hope you are right, Elise, that I can be a better father to her than my father ever was to me. Because Lucifer wasn't exactly the paragon of fatherhood! And I desperately want to be with you. My whole being screams that I need you."
She came and sat on the arm of his seat, put an arm around him, and laid her head on his shoulders:
"We'll figure it out, Jonathan; we have time; not everything has to happen at once. Let's just enjoy getting to know each other."
He said nothing and let his head rest gently on hers.
A while later, the silence in the suite was broken by the shrill ringing of his cell phone. He said:
"Elise, can you please answer it? I can't talk to anyone else for a moment."
She nodded, stood up, picked up the cell phone from the coffee table, and answered the call. After hanging up, she said:
"That was Maggie; she wanted to know how you were. I told her you were a little better than yesterday. She also asked if we wanted to come by, if only to pick up the money."
He laughed for a moment and said:
"Yeah, apparently it's not a good idea to leave that lying around. Okay, I'm going to shower and get ready, and then we can go."
He gave Jules another kiss on the head and said quietly:
"Bwitch, you can't stay put, and I can't drag you into the shower either. So hop on your feet."
She giggled for a moment and slid off his lap. He got up and disappeared into his room. After his shower, he didn't feel like wearing one of his tailored suits. Today it would be jeans, a pair of black cowboy boots, and a long-sleeved muscle shirt. When he stepped back into the living room, Witch and Bwitch looked at him with full attention. He had a grin on his face, and they saw a twinkle in his eyes when he asked:
"What, never seen a demigod before?"
This elicited a chuckle from his ladies. Elise thought:
"Oh boy, when he regains his strength, he will be as big or even a bigger firecracker than Jules."
And with that thought, it suddenly hit her with complete clarity. Jules and Jon were so alike in so many ways that they could literally be father and daughter. Jules suddenly looked at him seriously and asked in a very small and soft voice:
"Jon, can I call you Daddy from now on?"
He looked at her and smiled warmly, taking a step in her direction and pulling the girl to him:
"Yes, Jules, you may, and I am very honored that you want me to be your daddy."
With those words, the girl began to cry almost uncontrollably, and he got a panicked look in his eyes. He was afraid he had hurt her or said something wrong. His eyes cried out for help, and Elise joined them. He could read in her eyes that it was all right. He did the only thing he could think of, and that was to pick Jules up and take her in his arms. She immediately hid her little head between his shoulder and his neck. Her mother, who had one arm around her and one around Jon's waist, kissed her gently, put her hand on her back, and made reassuring circles. She also released her powers on her for a moment, and the combination calmed Jules.