Henry woke up with a raging problem.
No, not that kind of problem—okay yes, that too—but mostly a psychological one. He was obsessed. Infatuated. Hornier than a squirrel in mating season. And it wasn't for Moistessa's whipped cream warfare or Thrustina's vibrating gadgets.
It was Seraphina.
The danger. The fire. The thighs that could choke a man into the afterlife.
Ever since she blushed in front of him last night, something had changed. Her tsundere power was malfunctioning. And Henry? He was down bad. No—he was rock bottom down horrendous.
He peeked through the tent flap. The sky was quiet. The war-banana was docked nearby. The other girls were snoring in their own tents.
Seraphina's tent was across from his.
And her bra was drying on a nearby bush, fluttering like a forbidden flag of lust.
Henry licked his lips. "Operation: Simpstrike begins now."
Step 1: Bra Acquisition.
He tiptoed to the bush like a horny ninja. The bra was lacy, red, and looked like it could summon a demon if squeezed wrong.
Henry reached for it.
Suddenly—
"Henry."
He froze.
Behind him stood Moistessa. Naked. Covered in cosmic lube. Holding a can of whipped cream.
"Are you... stealing Seraphina's bra?"
Henry, in full panic mode, held it behind his back. "No. I was just... checking the weather. With my face. Near her bra."
Moistessa tilted her head. "Respect. Carry on."
Step 2: Undie Investigation.
After escaping that awkward encounter, Henry snuck into Seraphina's tent like a perverted raccoon. She was asleep, blanket half-tossed, one leg kicked out like she was fighting ghosts in her dreams.
He spotted it.
The Panty. The chosen one.
Lacy. Black. Folded like forbidden origami beside her pillow.
Henry brought it to his face. Inhaled like a man sniffing divinity.
"Oh my God," he whispered. "It smells like arrogance and vanilla."
Suddenly, Seraphina stirred.
Henry dropped the panties like a guilty gremlin and dove under the bed.
"Mmm… Henry," she mumbled in her sleep.
He almost screamed. "Did she just say my name?!"
He peeked out.
She was rolling over.
The blanket slid down.
And there it was—her boob. Soft, round, spilling slightly out of her nightgown. The most glorious sideboob in all of Milforia.
Henry's nose started bleeding. "God, forgive me for what I'm about to do."
He peeked. Just a little.
Just a tiny—
SNAP!
The tent flap flew open.
Thrustina barged in, holding a wrench that vibrated for no reason.
"Seraphina! I fixed the banana jet's—what the FUCK?!"
Henry screamed.
Seraphina jolted awake.
There was a moment of chaos. A flying panty. A knocked-over candle. Henry screaming and trying to pull the blanket over himself for some reason.
Seraphina, now fully awake and slightly disheveled, saw Henry kneeling near her chest with her underwear on his face.
She blinked. Then she blushed harder than the sun during a solar orgasm.
"YOU PERVERT!"
Henry raised his hands. "I CAN EXPLAIN!"
She drew her sword. "CAN YOU?!"
Moistessa popped her head in. "To be fair, he did sniff it with respect."
Seraphina roared. "OUT! ALL OF YOU!"
Henry fled like a naughty goblin, clutching the bra like a trophy of shame.
---
Later That Night…
Henry was sulking by the campfire, face red, heart pounding, nose still dripping blood.
"Why am I like this?" he muttered. "Why am I the way that I am?"
Suddenly, a figure sat next to him.
Seraphina.
Still flustered. But calmer. She handed him a steaming cup of tea.
"Thanks," he said sheepishly.
She stared into the fire. "You really are an idiot."
"I know."
"And a perv."
"Guilty."
She sighed. "But... you're my idiot."
Henry blinked. "Wait, what?"
She looked away. Her ears were red. "Nothing. Shut up."
He leaned closer. "Say it again."
She smacked his face with her palm. Gently.
"I said SHUT UP!"
But she didn't move away. In fact, she leaned closer.
Their faces were inches apart.
"I'm mad at you," she whispered.
"I know."
"But I don't want to lose you."
He touched her hand. "You won't."
There was silence. Charged. Heated.
Then—
BOOM.
The war-banana exploded.
Moistessa screamed, covered in lube again. "WHO TURNED ON THE DILDO ENGINE?!"
Thrustina rolled out from the flames, her bra on fire. "IT WAS SUPPOSED TO LAUNCH US TO THE FAPLANDS!"
Henry and Seraphina stared.
Then Seraphina burst out laughing.
Henry joined her.
And for the first time in a while, it wasn't about sex or chaos.
It was just... nice.
Until Henry pulled out her bra from his pocket and sniffed it again.
Seraphina tackled him into the dirt.
"YOU NEVER LEARN!"
And Henry screamed, blissfully.
"I DON'T WANT TO!"
---