The tremor intensified, no longer a gentle rumble but a violent shudder that sent dust and pebbles raining down from the cavern's roof.
Ethan stumbled, catching himself on a jagged rock.
Lina, that cryptic fox-spirit, was nowhere to be seen.
"Smooth exit, Lina. Real smooth," Ethan muttered, brushing off his robes.
The air crackled with an energy that prickled his skin, and a beam of golden light, thick as a redwood, shot from the cavern's depths, illuminating swirling glyphs etched on the far wall.
"Whoa, what in the digital deity's name...?" Ethan squinted, pulling out a half-eaten spirit fruit.
"Snack break's over, I guess."
The system, sensing the surge of spiritual energy, whirred to life.
*Ding!
* *Ancient script detected.
Initiating translation protocol.
* Ethan grinned.
"You the real MVP, System."
The translated text materialized in front of him, shimmering like a mirage: "Wan Yao Mu, thousand-year gestation, spirit core emerges, Heaven's Secrets fall." Ethan blinked.
Wan Yao Mu… wasn't that some mythical, uber-powerful medicinal herb from ancient lore?
The kind that could supposedly grant immortality and the ability to cook the perfect bowl of ramen?
Then, he noticed Mia.
She stood transfixed, bathed in the golden light, the intricate birthmark on her neck glowing with an otherworldly luminescence.
The markings… they mirrored the glyphs on the wall.
An unnerving hum filled the air, growing louder, a resonant vibration that seemed to emanate from Mia herself.
Suddenly, Sora, perched on Ethan's shoulder, sneezed.
Not a dainty little *achoo*, but a full-blown, earth-shattering *KA-CHOO!
* that sent a cloud of golden spores exploding across the cavern.
The spores shimmered in the air, coalescing into a shimmering barrier, pulsing with an ethereal light.
*"Activating Emergency Protocol: Spirit Blossom Barrier,"* the System announced.
*"Protection against… uh… stuff."*
Ethan raised an eyebrow.
"Stuff? Real descriptive, System. Thanks."
The barrier barely held.
Tendrils of inky black energy, laced with a palpable malice, began to probe and pierce the golden shield.
"Speak of the devil...or, well, his demonic equivalent," Ethan muttered, recognizing Master Wei's signature dark energy.
Showtime.
Using his "Drunken Immortal Step" – a technique that, ironically, made him look less like a graceful deity and more like a squirrel hopped up on fermented peaches – Ethan slid towards the wall, dodging the encroaching darkness.
As he neared the glyphs, the system pinged again.
*Ding!
* *New function unlocked: Reverse Translation!
*
"Reverse… translation?" Ethan squinted.
"You mean like… turning bad poetry into good? Because if so, you're a lifesaver."
But the system had something else entirely in mind.
The encroaching black energy, instead of dissipating or harming him, began to coalesce into… ink?
Actual, honest-to-goodness, calligraphy-ready ink.
The system, in its infinite wisdom, had decided that the best defense against evil energy was to turn it into writing material.
Ethan had to admit, it was… oddly brilliant.
Mia, meanwhile, drawn by an unseen force, reached out and touched the glowing wall.
A vine-like tendril, tipped with a jade-green bud, sprouted from her fingertips and burrowed into the stone.
With a soft crack, the wall yielded, and Mia pulled free a half-broken jade slip.
*Ding!
* *Warning!
Celestial Secrets Sect restriction detected!
* the system shrieked.
Ethan's eyes widened.
Celestial Secrets Sect… Master Wei's shady organization.
He snatched the jade slip from Mia and, with a dramatic flourish, smashed it on the ground.
"Take that, you creepy cultists!"
Instead of shattering into a million pieces, the fragments rearranged themselves on the cavern floor, glowing with an eerie light.
The pieces formed a series of numbers and symbols.
*Ding!
* *Decoding… Decoding… It's… Master Wei's puppet contract serial number?
!
*
Ethan stared at the glowing inscription.
A puppet contract… So Master Wei wasn't here personally?
He sent a… puppet?
Just how powerful *was* this guy?
Ethan swallowed, a knot forming in his stomach.
This was way beyond chili peppers.
This was…
"Well, Mia," Ethan said, his voice surprisingly steady, "looks like we've just RSVP'd to the worst party ever." He offered her a lopsided grin.
The air crackled again, but this time, it felt different.
Heavier.
More… personal.
A voice, cold as glacial ice, echoed through the cavern.
"Such a… *wasteful* display."
The ground *didn't* stop trembling.
It went from a shiver to a full-blown shimmy, like the world was trying to shake off a particularly nasty flea.
Ethan, still clutching his now-useless bag of dried chili peppers (seriously, what had he been *thinking*?
), braced himself against a crumbling wall, feeling distinctly un-heroic.
Lina was gone.
*Poof*.
Vanished like a fart in the wind.
Which, considering the current state of his bowels, was a disturbingly apt analogy.
Then, the light.
A glorious, obnoxious, *golden* light punched through the dusty air, shooting straight up like a cosmic middle finger to the darkening sky.
It emanated from… weeds?
A patch of particularly scraggly, unassuming weeds just a few paces away.
Ethan squinted.
He could almost *hear* the system whirring, processing, calculating…
*Ding!*
**Quest Update:** Locate the source of the celestial beacon.
Reward: One (1) slightly used truth serum.
Side effects may include spontaneous yodeling and an uncontrollable urge to knit.
Ethan sighed.
The system was clearly having a *day*.
Truth serum?
Yodeling?
*Knitting*?
This whole situation was spiraling into a realm of weird he hadn't even known *existed*.
Still, a quest was a quest.
He stumbled towards the glowing weeds, kicking up dust and muttering about the unfairness of it all.
As he neared, the weeds parted, revealing a crumbling stone tablet.
Carved into the stone were strange symbols, pulsing with a faint golden light.
The system's translation kicked in, a robotic monotone in his ear.
*"The… uh… Spirit… Binding… Contract… something something… Wan Yao Mu… blah blah blah… ancient power… yadda yadda…"*
Ethan winced.
"System, buddy, you okay?
Sounds like you're having a stroke.
"
*"Processing… Low power mode… Please insert two AA batteries…"*
Great.
Just great.
Before Ethan could contemplate the logistics of finding batteries in this godforsaken place, a figure materialized from the shadows.
Tall, thin, with a face like a weasel and eyes that glinted like polished daggers, the newcomer radiated an aura of pure, unadulterated *creep*.
"Well, well," the weasel-faced man purred, his voice a silken whisper.
"What do we have here?
A little stray sniffing around things he shouldn't be.
" He gestured to the tablet with a long, bony finger.
"The *Ling Yao Qi Yue*, or, as you simpletons might call it, the Spirit Binding Contract.
Fascinating, isn't it?
"
Ethan recognized him then.
Master Wei, an elder of the Celestial Secrets Sect—a sect renowned for its… let's just say "flexible" morality.
And the rumors about them wanting to absorb the crumbling Qingyun Sect… well, they weren't exactly whispers anymore.
"I… uh…" Ethan stammered, trying to look nonchalant while internally freaking out.
He snuck a glance at Mia, who had appeared beside him at some point, her big, innocent eyes fixed on Master Wei.
Suddenly, the system's fragmented translation clicked into place.
*Wan Yao Mu… Spirit Binding Contract… Mia…* Holy crap.
Master Wei's eyes, sharp as shards of ice, flicked to Mia.
A predatory smile stretched across his face.
"The vessel.
Excellent.
It seems my luck is exceptionally good today.
"
Suddenly, everything became crystal clear.
The golden light, the contract, Mia's silence… She wasn't just a cute, mute girl.
She was the *Wan Yao Mu*, some sort of ancient super-powered… what?
Plant?
Person?
Ethan's head spun.
This was so far beyond dried chili peppers, he wasn't even sure where to *begin*.
But one thing was certain: he wasn't letting this creepy weasel-man take Mia.
Not today, Satan.
Not today.