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I wake up in the middle of the night and I see that we're still on the call. I take this chance to really look at him. I see he's still wearing his beanie though. I thought maybe it would be uncomfortable but he seems to have no problem sleeping with it on.
He's really good looking. He's so cute sleeping. I want to kiss those lips. His button nose is so adorable. Sometimes he really looks like a woman but every time that thought crosses my mind I push it down.
I caress the screen of my phone hoping I would feel his face.
"Am I falling in love with you?" I ask in a whisper.
I was going to go back to sleep when I hear a glass break downstairs. I run downstairs as fast as I could to see what happened.
I see Dana on the floor crying.
"What happened?" I ask trying to help him get away from the broken glass.
"Yeji, why?" He cries.
"Why what?" I ask him, confused.
"Why did you break up with me? Why don't you want to marry me? Why am I not good enough for you? What did I do wrong? I'm sorry I laid my hands on you. I won't do it again. I'm sorry" he cries even harder.
"Dana, be quiet. Eva is sleeping upstairs" I say.
"Is it because of Eva? How I tried to push her away? Saying she's not my daughter? Please tell me where it went wrong between us so I can fix it."
"Dana there's nothing more to fix. I'm sorry. Come on get up and let's get you to bed". I say trying to help him up but he's too heavy for me.
"I love you, Yeji. Please give us another chance. I promise to be better. Please". He begs
"Dana, you're drunk. You won't even remember this tomorrow."
"Yes I will. I'm drunk, yes, but everything I'm saying I will remember. Give me another chance. Give us another chance. We can become a happy family. If you want inore kids then we can have more kids. I'm willing to do anything". He says not giving up.
Let him go. If you were capable of treating me well then why didn't you do it?
Why are you begging me for another chance now that we're not together, I gave you so many chances, Dana. You don't care about my feelings, you don't listen to me, all you think about is yourself, you don't help with Eva and you always compare me to your ex girlfriends.
"I will show you Yeji. I will change. I will fight for your love again. I will show you 1 can be a good husband and father" he says
"Focus on being a good father because we're not getting back together". I say walking away. I didn't care anymore if he hurt himself. My heart aches hearing all those promises he was making.
I go back to my room and hug Eva. I cry myself to sleep not looking forward to facing him in the morning.
I wake up and I see Eva isn't next to me anymore. I panic so I run downstairs to see Dana with her. I furrow my brows and sit in the living room since Dana is feeding Eva. I grab my phone to see a message from Ryujin.
hard_carryy0: Good morning beautiful. I hope you slept well. I hope you have a good day today.
kitty_purrfect: Good morning handsome. Thank you. You look so cute when you sleep by the way. I woke up in the middle of the night and watched you sleep for a little. I'm not sorry if it's creepy because you looked adorable.
hard_carryy0: Not creepy. I probably would have done the same thing lol.
kuty_purrfect: What's your plans for today?
hard_carryy0: Nothing much. Family bonding probably. How about you and Eva?
kitty_purrfect: Probably stay at home. Dana will be home all day so not looking forward to that.
hard_carryy0: Be careful okay? Try to avoid him if you can.
Kitty_purrfect: Don't worry. I can take care of myself. Talk again tonight though? After I get off work?
hard_carryy0: Yes. If we keep this up / might have a hard tune folling asleep if we don't talk on the phone before bed lol.
kitty_purrfect: that's the plan so you can't live without me.
hard_carryy0: I think your plan is working because all I keep thinking about is you.
kitty_purrfect: Such a flirt. You better not he flirting with other women over there.
hard_carryy0: I wouldn't even think about it. My flirting is only for you lol.
kitty_purrfect: you're lucky I like you so I'll put up with your cheesiness.
hard_carryy0: I hope you're not lactose because I don't want to cause you to stomach issues by eating me.
kirty_purrfect: What's wrong with you haha.
hard_carryy0: Nothing. Just trying to flirt with my girl.
kitty_purrfect: your girl huh? I like the sound of that.
hard_carryy0: Well you are kind of, aren't you? Lol but I have to go. I'll talk to you later okay?
kitty_purrfect: Yes I am and I'll talk to you later. I'll miss you
hard_carryy0: I'll miss you too
I put down my phone and Dana sits next to me.
I look at him weirdly, "What are you doing?"
"You want to go on a family date today before your work? We can go take a walk in the park and have an early dinner?" He ask.
"I'll pass" I say looking away from him.
"We can go to couples therapy Yeji. Let's fix us" He says.
"I told you I would remember everything. Give me another chance, Yeji" he begs again
"No one can love you like I can Yeji and you know that he says
I don't know why but every time he says that, I feel so insecure. I know I'm hard to love and hard to be with. Would Ryujin just get tired of me when we're actually together? Would I just cause him trouble? What if I do completely cut my ties with Dana and go to Ryujin? Would I be enough to keep him happy? Can he love me like Dana says he can?
I feel someone hold my hands and I look down to see Dana caressing them with his thumbs
"You know only I can love you for who you are Yeji. You won't find another one who will accept you. You have a child with another man. Who would take on that responsibility?" He says in a loving tone
I start crying because he's right. Who would want me? I quickly come back to my senses though and pull my hands away.
"No. Dana, were done". I say as I wipe my tears.
"Vejl. Come on please Don't throw away our relationship just like that."
"Let it go please" I beg
He stands up and goes to the kitchen, only to come back with a knife in his hand.
He presses the blade against his neck, "If you're not gonna give me a chance then I'll kill myself. I'll end it because you stopped loving me. I'll end it because of you. Can you really live with that guilt? I'm telling you I'll treat you better but you're making things difficult for us. So I'm gonna ask again, are you gonna give me another chance or should I kill myself?"
"Dana, don't do this. Don't make me stay with you. Don't you want me to be happy? I don't think I can be happy with you" I say
"I don't care. I want you! So either give me a chance or I end myself". He presses harder and he starts bleeding a little.
"Okay okay. I'll give you another chance. Just please stop" I cry out.
He drops the knife and hugs me. I cry in his shoulder thinking about Ryujin. What am I gonna do now?