Hunger woke me before the numbness in my dead arm did. Anko's head was a leaden lump crushing my bicep, her wild purple hair fanned out like she'd lost a fight with a pillow.
She wasn't a graceful sleeper. I'd never tell her that, of course — she was a lady, after all. But a lady shouldn't sprawl across the futon like a kunai-riddled corpse, limbs flung in every direction. An arm thrown across my chest, fingers twitching occasionally like she was dreaming about throttling someone. Probably me.
A leg hooked over my waist, pinning me down like I might escape. Her breath was warm against my chest, slow and steady, but I knew better. Sometime during the night, she'd rolled over, a kick in the ribs, an elbow in the jaw, before settling down again like nothing happened.
She was a pain but….
I didn't hate this.
I had plenty of reasons to — an aching body, a dead arm, the occasional unprovoked shot to the balls — but it was….. nice?
In my last life, I got kicked out early. No safety net. No one to fall back on. Just me, scraping by, stretching every coin, working two jobs just to survive. Relationships were a luxury. Pointless. Waste of time when you're living paycheck to paycheck. Time was money, and I had neither to spare.
But this…. waking up next to someone? Not alone? It felt good. Better than it had any right to. Even if it meant enduring the occasional half-conscious assaults in my sleep.
Anko mumbled something incoherent — probably a threat, maybe a demand for dango — and I couldn't help but smile.
I pulled her closer, tucking her against my chest. She shifted, pressing into the warmth, her breath ghosting over my skin. My arm was still dead weight, tingling and useless beneath her, but I was a shinobi.
That didn't last long. A pulse of chakra flooded through it, kicking sluggish nerves back to life. Pins and needles stabbed their way up my fingers, then faded.
After a while, her hand shifted from my chest, fingers tracing my jaw with a tenderness that didn't match the hellion I knew. I glanced down. Half-lidded eyes, dark and drowsy, stared back—awake? Asleep? Didn't matter. I kissed her forehead, and her thumb brushed my lower lip in response, rough from kunai grips but surprisingly gentle.
I closed my eyes and let her.
No words. Just her touch mapping my face like she was memorizing it, slow and deliberate. My jaw, my lips, the scar on my chin from that botched mission last winter. I held her, breathing in the scent of sweat and her cheap citrus shampoo, savoring the quiet.
Her fingers stilled. I thought she'd drifted off again—until she pinched my earlobe hard.
"Ow. What the hell, Anko?"
"Shut up," she grumbled, voice thick with sleep. "You did something stupid."
I blinked. "I don't remember doing anything like."
Another sharp pinch.
"Then your brain's as useless as your pull-out game." She finally cracked an eye open, glaring at me like I was the problem here. "What, you think I wanna waddle around all day leaking your dumb decisions?"
I snorted. "You didn't seem to mind."
She pinched me again, harder.
"Keep talking, and next time, I'm tying you to the bed before we fuck."
I let that one slide. For now. A man should know the battles to pick.
Anko exhaled sharply, rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling like it had personally offended her. "This was a mistake."
"A mistake?" I said the word as if tasting it myself.
"I mean, I like sex, sure. Who doesn't? But getting knocked up? No thanks. No mini-mes running around. I barely tolerate the brats we already got in the village." She let out a long sigh. "Can't be a badass kunoichi when you're puking your guts out and carrying a parasite for nine months."
She was talking fast, filling the air with words, brushing it off like it was nothing.
She drummed her fingers on her bare stomach. "I mean, look at me. I'm a walking disaster. I eat expired food for fun. I once stabbed a guy for breathing too loud. And now—" She gestured vaguely at herself. "—I could be growing a tiny little mistake in here. A me. But worse."
I caught her wrist before she could spiral further, turning her face toward mine. My thumb brushed over an scar on her cheek. "I've made a lot of mistakes, Anko." My fingers trailed down her jaw. "Last night wasn't one of them. Do not call it that."
That was truer than true. It was in the heat of the moment but will not, ever, say it was a mistake. Having children did not scare me. In fact, it was the opposite.
Anko's breath hitched. For a second, she just stared at me, eyes wide like I'd slapped her. Then the moment shattered.
"Ugh, gross." She shoved my face away, but there was no real force behind it. "Since when do you get all serious and shit? Next you're gonna start writing shitty poetry and leaving dango on my doorstep like some lovesick genin."
I didn't look away.
She fidgeted, eyes darting, tongue flicking out to wet her lips. "I mean, seriously. What if? What if it happens?" She waved a hand, as if that would make the thought disappear. "I'm not mom material, y'know? I eat dango for breakfast, I drink too much, and I've never met a fight I didn't wanna start. That's not a good combo for raising a kid."
I just watched her.
She groaned. "Ugh. Stop with the stupid serious eyes. It's creeping me out."
"No." I smirked. "And why would it even be your worse mini-me? I th—"
"Because it'll have your face," she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, tracing a lazy circle on my chest with her nail—just sharp enough to threaten skin. "And your dumbass sense of humor. And your stupid habit of—"
A slap in her exposed, pale ass on correcting her attitude but before I did more — because I diffidently would've have more — a sudden, violent pounding rattled the door.
Shit. Anbu? Do they knock on doors now?
My mind kicked into high alert. But then—
"Oi, Eichin! You in there?"
The voice was loud, familiar, and absolutely not Anbu.
Naruto.
I froze.
Slowly, I turned to Anko. She didn't look alarmed. Or concerned. Or anything, really. Just unimpressed. She yawned, stretched, and gave me a lazy look that said this is your problem.
I dragged a hand down my face. Then my gaze dropped—to our bodies, tangled together, completely naked.
Fuck.
"Wait! Naruto, just—"
Too late.
The door swung open with a bang.
I barely had time to yank the sheet up, covering Anko first — instinct, maybe possessiveness, but no one got to stare at her like this but me.
Naruto stood in the doorway, grinning like an idiot. "Sorry for not bein' home yesterday! Got caught up trainin' with Pervy Sage and—"
Then his eyes landed on Anko.
He blinked, then jabbed a finger at Anko like he'd just discovered a new species of trouble. "Who's she? And what's she doing here?"
Anko's tongue flicked out, wetting her lips. She glanced at me and then smirked.
I knew that look. She was about to be a pain in my ass.
She stretching like a satisfied cat, the sheet slipping just enough to make my eye twitch. "Mmm, just having a good time, kid. Long, sweaty night. Your buddy here really knows how to keep a girl entertained."
My eye twitched.
"Oh yeah?" Naruto said, "Eichin's got some good games, huh? What'd you play? He's got this card thing—real fun. I mean, it's a little tricky at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's kinda addicting! Way better than training the old-fashioned way."
He completely missed the undertone.
It can't be…. This one was the older version of Naruto, how can he be this….. ignorant.
Anko snorted. I groaned.
"—anyway, that chakra control card thing? You were supposed to give it to me yesterday! You did go to my place, right? I checked with Mom, and she said—"
He finally stopped.
Blink.
Point.
"Wait." His eyes flicked between me and Anko—still very much naked under the tangled sheets—and, with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, he asked. "Why are you guys naked?"
Shit.
I could see the unholy gleam in Anko's eyes. If I didn't answer fast, she'd turn this into a disaster.
"Wrestling," I blurted out.
Silence.
I nearly slapped myself. Wrestling? What the hell kind of excuse was that? That was the best I could come up with? It seemed the blood siphoned by my dick had yet to flow back up.
Anko, predictably, pounced on it.
"Oh yeah," she drawled, stretching under the sheet. "Real intense match. Your buddy here? Absolute beast on the mat. Had me pinned so many times."
I clenched my teeth.
"Huh. Didn't know you wrestled, Eichin." Naruto, still as dense as ever, just nodded thoughtfully. "Is that how you train? Maybe I should try it! Seems like a good workout."
Anko turned her face into my shoulder, shaking with silent laughter.
I stared at Naruto for a long, long moment.
"...do you share a single brain cell with Goku?"
Naruto blinked. "Goku who?"
I sighed, rubbing my temples. Of course.
Then I stood up — completely naked, not giving a single fuck.
Naruto's eyes bulged. "Oi! Put some damn clothes on, bastard!" He covered his face with both hands but peeked through his fingers like a hypocrite. "Nobody wants to see your junk first thing in the morning!"
"Speak for yourself." Anko, still lounging on the futon, let out a snort.
I ignored both of them, spotting my pants on the floor. I crouched, digging into a pocket for what I'd come for.
My fingers curled around fabric. Soft. I pulled it out.
A small, green pair of panties.
Kushina's.
My entire body locked up. Oh, fuck.
Naruto cocked his head. "Hey, what's that?"
Your mom's underwear?
"Nothing." I shoved it back in my pocket fast and dug into the other one. Did I seal it in a scroll?
Naruto leaned in. "Wait, was that—"
"Here." I slapped the Chakra Focus Card — need to work on the name — into his palm, cutting him off.
Naruto grinned, flipping it between his fingers. "Thanks, man! You're still a total pervert, though. Pervy Sage's got competition, dattebayo!"
I pointed at the door. "Out."
He saluted, laughing. "Sure thing, Perv Number Two! Later!"
He slammed the door shut as loudly as he'd barged in.
Silence.
Then, Anko burst out cackling.
"Alright, Perv Number Two, what the hell was that card really about?"
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Just something I've been tinkering with—a fun little way to train chakra control."
The card was a deceptively simple tool — no larger than a playing card, its surface etched with fine jutsu shiki.
When held between thumb and forefinger, the user had to channel chakra into it, fighting against the built-in "chakra magnets" lining its left and right edges. These magnets pulled at their energy like opposing tides, constantly trying to destabilize the flow.
The goal was Ignite only the top edge with light.
Too much chakra bleeding to the sides, and the card would flash red — forcing them to start over.
I'd started making these when I began taking on teaching missions at the Academy. It had been a side project at first—just a way to make chakra control training less boring for kids. But it had quickly turned into something way more useful.
Naruto's got ridiculous chakra reserves, so he's the perfect test dummy for it.
"Anyway," I stretched my back, feeling the satisfying crack of my spine realigning. The gnawing hunger in my gut was getting harder to ignore. I glanced at Anko. "So, breakfast, what's it gonna be? Want me to go buy you dango, or should I cook whatever's left in the fridge?"
Anko's hand shot up like a kid in class. "Oh! Oh!" She grinned wide. "Cook me dango."
I exhaled through my nose. "That's not how that works."
She just smirked, utterly unbothered. "You're a shinobi. Figure it out."
I sighed, long and suffering. "You're lucky you're hot."
She waggled her brows. "Damn right I am."