"Wait so that's why Selena thought you'd know things about her and her baby!" Ivy mutters as she holds her head in her hands.
"Yip!" Harley replies cheerily, completely nonplussed by her friend's existential crisis, after finding out that I come from a world where she's a fictional character.
"You know…Harley I thought you were just being your usual brand of endearing crazy, after you told me about you killing Superman by accident and then world being destroyed and then the universe and you going to the universe of the creators and having them make a new universe where Bruce is nicer and…why didn't you just have the Joker erased?"
"Couldn't…the Joker can die but he always exists in some way or another…he has to, it keeps the scales balanced or something…I kinda forgot…how The Presence said he was important but he is…" Harley mutters and my eyes widen in shocked surprise.
'Harley's met God…of course she's met the DC universe's God and not just an author…' I think while I look at the blonde who has a serious look on her face while her eyes grow distant.
Getting up out of my chair I hug Harley from behind and place a kiss against her neck, "My Darling, the Heroine of the DCAU." I murmur and Harley spins around in my arms and kisses my neck, but then begins to cry against my chest.
"Harley, what's wrong?" I ask Harley in a murmur as I run my right hand through her hair and rub the small of her back with my left.
Harley pulls back from me and looks up into my eyes, "Wha-what if it's my fault you were taken from your home? The Presence said that there would be repercussions, that I wouldn't understand until later for my choices." Harley babbles as she sobs and I pull her against me and continue to try my comforting ministrations.
'I honestly don't know what to think about this information, I mean I can see it happening with all the alternative Earths and stuff, the dimensional barrier being bypassed or weakened…by her somehow managing to cross it…the world that seemed to hate me, and fuck me over all the time took its chance to expel me.' I think while feeling/hearing Harley sobbing against me and apologizing for being the reason I'm here.
"Harley, there's no reason to believe your crossing over to my world is what caused me to be brought here." I comfort Harley in a murmur. pulling my hand away from petting her hair, to cup her chin and kiss her, for the first time since meeting her Harley is reluctant to kiss me, but soon submits and enthusiastically returns the kiss.
*You're not mad at me?!" Harley asks me as we break the kiss together.
"Nope." I reply to her while popping the p.
"Honestly, you're a crazy girl for blaming yourself, if whoever or whatever sent me here wants me here for a reason and as much as you're my whole world, Darling...you're just a little drop of crazy in an Omniverse of super crazy madness." I tease lightly with a small smirk on my face.
"I'm not crazy," Harley murmurs with her pretty pouty lips. "I'm just a little unhinged!" Harley starts giggling making me chuckle.
"You know just what to say to a girl." Harley smirks and kisses me slowly, "Oh come on, what about me? You can't just spend all your time kissing Harley and not me!" Poison Ivy complains and a large vine coils around my body, I feel a sense of vertigo and then I'm staring into beautiful green eyes filled with jealousy and uncertainty, before Ivy's soft plump lips cautiously meet mine.
I hear Harley let out a little happy squeal of delight as Ivy and I begin kissing in much the same manner that Ivy interrupted, when Ivy finally breaks the kiss she has a deep blush and is breathing heavily.
"Better now?" I ask Ivy while smirking in a satisfied manner.
'How am I so comfortable with this?!'
'Maybe because you still don't believe it's real…I mean come on you got stabbed in the heart and it only hurt a little and stained your shirt with a little bit of blood.' I answer back to myself, and sigh in relief as Ivy releases me from the coiled root/vine she had me ensnared in.
Ivy hums and turns her back to me, making me chuckle, that's when I notice the clock on the wall…which tells me that it's a few hours past training with Bruce but I shrug it off and begin cooking alongside Ivy and Harley as what they were previously cooking was left unattended for too long.
Suddenly a dark shadow falls over the kitchen and I feel it glaring down at me, slowly turning around, I hear two gasps of surprise, "Bruce, you're supposed to knock!" I grunt as I gesture to myself, "So, things like this don't happen."
"You're naked, not indecent!" Harley helpfully chimes in making me roll my eyes, why because she sounds so innocent when saying that it is just adorable.
"You missed training!" Bruce grunts, "and use Batman, when we're not at the cave, just because Harley and Poison Ivy know who I am underneath the cowl doesn't mean everyone does-"
"Bro, literally everyone with two brain cells to rub together and a little bit of cunning enough to be dangerous do, or a thing for recognizing faces, you have a very distinct chin…which you leave open for all to see."
"Heck, if it weren't for The Joker killing the guys who had photo and video evidence of who you are, and destroying it the whole world would know who you are, I mean come on all the villainesses know who you are, because you have a very distinct butt, and you've slept with a dozen of them or so.
Cobblepot knows who you are, Luther knows who you are, do I have to keep going?!" I groan and roll my eyes as he just crosses his arms over his chest, and though his face is an unreadable mask there's definitely a distinct feeling of unease coming from his body language.
"Come with me." Bruce finally says after a minute or so of Harley doing bunny ears and peace signs behind his back making Iby giggle and me struggle not to bust a gut.
"Aww, come on why?" I ask and sound like a whiny teenager.
"Training, you need it if you're going to be in a relationship with Harley…and now Ivy…" There wasn't any judgement in Bruce's body language as his eyes panned over Ivy who is now in a leafy leotard, just like Harley…while I get left to fend for myself...both against Bruce and in the clothes department.
"Wha-what, we're not umm…it was just a…umm!" Ivy has like a full on Ivy.EXE
crash at Bruce's statement, while trying to dissuade Bruce of his thoughts that we're now a threesome.
~~ — — — — — — — — — — — — ~~
Bat-cave
~~ — — — — — — — — — — — — ~~
"Ahh, come on Bruce, haven't you kicked the shit out of me enough?!" I ask the man, as Dick Grayson lets out his dimented chuckle from the bench he's using to bench press 600lbs.
"I mean I'm not even getting better this way!" I continue to complain but Dick racks the bar and sits up.
"You've improved a lot in a month of training…more than I did in my first month of training you just don't see it because you're up against Bruce." Dick says to me in comfort.
"Thanks Dick…" I show my gratitude with an exasperated sigh, suddenly a TV rises from the dojo floor.
"Multiple cold villains begin attacks around the world, this is a clip of Mr.Freeze attacking picnickers in Gotham Park.
"Aww, man today is the day!" Dick complains.
"The day?" I ask him as he and Bruce walk over to where their costumes are kept in glass cases.
"The day Auqalad, Kid Flash and I get read in and get full access to the Hall of Justice…and." Dick replies excitedly and pauses to increase my interest.
"And?" I ask since Dick isn't being forthcoming as he and Bruce strip down and start putting on their super suits.
"And the day the three of us join the league!" Dick cheers happily as he finishes putting on his costume.
"Oh, well good luck Boy Wonder!" I wave to him with a smile and he pouts before smiling.
"Thanks uncle gets my ass kicked like a girl all day!" Dick Snickers and I roll my eyes at him while giving him the double birds, receiving a chuckle in reply as he and Batman rush to the batmobile and take off, leaving me alone in the Batcave, I walk over to the bench presses, bench and sit down to watch tv.
Watching the news I see unturned cars, kids getting hit with debris…the news station tries to move on from the collateral damage but it's still there, "I'm not a hero but I can't sit here and watch this…" I mutter and grab one of Bruce's blacked out helmet and a pair of gloves, before walking over to the bat-cycle, as in a motorcycle that looks like a lightspeeder from Tron but Bat-ed out.
The bat-cycle starts right up for me while the floor moves to direct me towards a secret roadway to and from the batcave while the HUD on the bike highlights the batmobile's position and sets a course for me to follow.
Revving the throttle I peel out and hit 120 mph in 0.3 seconds flat, the bike partially driving itself to assist the rider at such speeds.
"Yee-haa!" I shout as adrenaline floods my system, as I catch air from a ramp leading out of one of the tunnels leading from the Batcave into Gotham.
It doesn't take me long to find the first signs of destruction and the harm it's brought to normal people coming to a stop next a car that crashed into a massive iceberg in the middle of the street I find a woman in the driver's seat passed out with blood running down her forehead and two screaming kids in the backseat of around two or three years old, quickly getting off of my bike I wrench the driver's door open the sound of metal shearing fills my ear.
Checking the woman for a pulse I find one but it's weak. I quickly heal her and jostle her shoulder.
"Ma'am you need to wake up, your babies need to get to safety." I shout and that snaps the woman out of it and she nearly shoves me to the ground to get out of her car and get her babies out, which she manages to do in such a timely manner I'd mistake her for a speedster if I didn't know any better.
Getting back on my bike I drive through the area slowly hoping off of it to help anyone and everyone in rough shape, until I reach the park where the damage is the worst, which shouldn't be possible given that it was a park but whole families are just frozen in icebergs, EMT are on scene with heat guns thawing the ice, someone yells at me to get back as I run over and heal a baby that was so cold that it was blue, after seeing me heal the baby the EMT and other emergency services personnel brought the people in need of healing over to me.
But my efforts to heal were starting to take their toll on me besides feeling a bone deep exhaustion my stomach feels as though it's trying to eat me from the inside out and when I pull on my warmth, now it feels like I'm tugging on and using something I shouldn't.
I stumble as I help an older woman up from a gurney, my vision filling with black spots as I fall to the ground, my world spinning…I come to, to a pretty doctor waving her light in front of my eyes, "Looks like acute hypoglycemia, you need to eat and drink as you help people!" She chastises me and now that the light is no longer in my eyes I can see she's a pretty Latina woman with a big rack…she almost reminds me of Salma Hyack but she's too cartoon-like for that to be the case.
She's soon shoving a straw between my lips and I start sucking at her glare of command, and I instantly start to feel better, I drain the apple juice and am handed saltine crackers and granola bars and the like I eat those and stand up, I finally realize that I'm in the back of an ambulance.
"You feeling better?" The doctor asks me and hands me my helmet.
"Yeah, thanks…"
"Don't worry your secrets are safe with me." She says kindly and then vanishes out of the ambulance and I hear her barking out orders putting my helmet back on, I head out of the ambulance to and start healing people again.
The moon is high in the sky by the time I drag myself back to my bike I spot an autopilot button so I press it and lay down against the large fuselage feeling well and truly exhausted after today.