Kaito Igarashi had always known the real world was against him.
But never before had it been this obvious.
Because in the span of twenty-four hours, his life had taken a turn for the worse.
Somehow, some way,he had been recruited against his will into a socialization boot camp.
By three girls.
And his demon roommate.
And now, as he sat in his dorm, staring at his phone, he realized something horrifying.
He was expected to respond to texts.
Like a normal person.
Kaito, answer the group chat! — Ayane
Are you ignoring us? — Mika
Kaito, if you don't reply, I'm coming to your dorm and making you talk in person. — Yuki
Kaito nearly threw his phone across the room.
This was why he didn't talk to people.
Because once you gave them even a little attention, they expected more.
And more.
And more.
He sighed, rubbing his temples.
Haru, lounging on his bed, watched with amusement.
"You look stressed."
Kaito shot him a glare. "Because I am."
Haru smirked. "Bro, just text them back."
Kaito groaned. "I don't know how to text."
Haru stared. "You… don't know how to text?"
Kaito crossed his arms. "Not in a way that makes sense to normal people."
Haru burst out laughing.
Kaito hated him.
"Okay, okay," Haru said, wiping away a tear. "I'll help you."
Kaito frowned. "Help me?"
Haru nodded, grabbing his own phone. "I'm gonna teach you how to text."
Kaito stared at him. "Why do you sound like you're training a caveman?"
Haru grinned. "Because you are one."
Kaito sighed. "Fine. Teach me."
Haru cracked his knuckles. "Lesson one—emojis."
Kaito blinked. "What?"
Haru held up his phone. "Girls love emojis, bro. You gotta use them."
Kaito frowned. "I don't like emojis."
Haru gasped. "Blasphemy."
Kaito sighed. "I just… never know which ones to use."
Haru smirked. "Easy. Just follow the rules."
Kaito raised an eyebrow. "There are rules?"
Haru nodded. "One—never overuse them. Otherwise, you look like a boomer."
Kaito nodded. "Okay."
"Two—don't use weird ones. No one wants to see the eggplant emoji randomly."
Kaito narrowed his eyes. "I wasn't planning on using the eggplant emoji."
Haru grinned. "Three—always end friendly texts with a casual emoji. Like a smiley. Or a thumbs-up."
Kaito sighed. "That sounds exhausting."
Haru shrugged. "Welcome to social interaction."
Kaito groaned.
With great reluctance, Kaito picked up his phone.
He hesitated.
He typed.
He erased.
He typed again.
Finally, he sent:
Kaito:I'm not ignoring you. Just bad at texting.
He stared at the message.
It looked… wrong.
Haru peered over his shoulder. "Bro. You sound like a robot."
Kaito groaned. "This is why I don't text."
Haru grinned. "Let me fix it."
Before Kaito could protest, Haru snatched his phone and added—
Kaito:I'm not ignoring you. Just bad at texting. Lol.
Kaito froze.
"No," he said immediately. "Take that 'lol' out."
Haru laughed. "Why?"
"Because now it sounds like I'm mocking them."
Haru grinned. "Nah, it sounds casual."
Kaito groaned. "This is why I hate talking to people."
Haru patted his back. "You'll survive."
Kaito doubted it.
A few seconds later, his phone buzzed.
Mika: Lol it's okay! At least you answered this time.
Ayane: Shocking. The silent one speaks.
Yuki: Progress!
Kaito stared.
Haru smirked. "See? They like you."
Kaito frowned. "I don't understand people."
Haru laughed. "Welcome to my world."
Kaito sighed, typing again.
Kaito:I don't know what to say now.
Mika: Say whatever!
Ayane: Or just send an emoji like a normal person.
Kaito blinked.
Haru grinned. "Emoji time, bro."
Kaito sighed.
And, with deep hesitation, he sent:
Kaito:👍
Silence.
Then—
Ayane: …A thumbs-up? Really?
Mika: Kaito, are you 40 years old?
Yuki: At least use a smiley face.
Kaito wanted to die.
Haru was crying from laughter.
Kaito hated his life.
An hour later, after much suffering, Kaito had somehow managed to hold a real conversation over text.
It wasn't perfect.
But it was… passable.
Barely.
Haru stretched. "Alright, lesson over. You're slightly less terrible now."
Kaito sighed. "Great."
Haru grinned. "Next step—voice calls."
Kaito froze.
His blood ran cold.
"No," he said immediately.
Haru smirked. "Oh yes."
Kaito shook his head. "No. Never. Absolutely not."
Haru wagged a finger. "One step at a time, bro."
Kaito groaned.
This was only the beginning.
And he knew, deep in his soul—
He was doomed.