Chapter 16 - The devils housewife

The three of them walked away from the club, Lucifer casually snapped his fingers. In an instant, a sleek, black limousine materialized right in front of them. The windows were tinted so dark they seemed like portals to nothingness, and the chrome exterior gleamed under the dim streetlights. Liam raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, real subtle." Zatanna crossed her arms. "You're Lucifer. Can't you just teleport?" Lucifer smirked. "Of course I can. But where's the style in that?" Liam shrugged. "Can't argue with that logic." Lucifer opened the door and gestured for them to step in. Liam slid into the leather seats first, followed by Zatanna, who still looked skeptical. When Lucifer got in, the door shut behind him on its own. Liam looked around. "Alright… Where's the driver?" There was no one in the front seat. The wheel turned by itself as if some invisible force was controlling it. Zatanna frowned. "Okay, that's creepy." Lucifer chuckled, pouring himself a drink from a crystal decanter. "Oh, come on. It's just magic. It's only creepy if you don't understand it." As the limo started moving, everything outside the windows began to warp. The city lights bled into long, twisting shapes, distorting as if reality itself was unraveling. Soon, the streets of London were gone, replaced by an eerie, endless expanse of shifting shadows and crimson-hued clouds. It was as if they had stepped into a limbo-like dimension. Liam smirked. "Well, you were right. This is stylish." Zatanna shot him a glare. "Seriously?" Liam raised his hands in defense. "What? I appreciate the effort." Zatanna's glare deepened. "Enough screwing around. Why are you doing this? And why Lucifer of all people? Do you have any idea how hard I had to push John to get him to tell me?" Liam's smirk faded. He leaned back into the seat, exhaling. "Because I need to get stronger. And because I failed in Hell." Zatanna's expression softened. "Liam…" "No, listen," he interrupted. "What happened back there was on me. I froze. I hesitated. I wasn't strong enough. And because of that, we barely made it out." Lucifer sipped his drink, watching with amused curiosity. Zatanna shook her head. "That's bullshit. Even smart-ass John was almost helpless. The First of the Fallen isn't just some random demon. He's above most of Hell's hierarchy. The fact that we survived at all is a miracle." Lucifer smirked. "I have to agree with the lady. What you did was actually impressive, kid. Most people in your position would've died screaming." Sparda's voice rumbled in Liam's mind. Do you need the support of two demon kings and the most beautiful girl just to stop feeling like a bitch? Get a hold of yourself. Liam rolled his eyes. Thanks for the pep talk, asshole. Lucifer set his glass down and leaned forward slightly. "Regardless of what you think about yourself, you work for me now. That means no whining, no complaining, and definitely no easy rides. You want power? You're going to have to earn it." Liam scoffed. "Pretty sure slavery is illegal now." Lucifer grinned. "Oh, you're adorable. If this were slavery, you wouldn't be getting paid." Zatanna crossed her arms. "Wait, we're getting paid?" Lucifer smirked. "In experience." Liam groaned. "Oh, that's the worst kind of payment." Lucifer raised a finger. "But the most valuable." Zatanna muttered, "God, I hate demons." Lucifer chuckled. "You're working for one now, sweetheart. Get used to it." After a few more minutes, the swirling limbo outside faded away, replaced by the vibrant neon glow of Los Angeles. The limo pulled up in front of a towering club, its massive, golden sign flashing LUX. The doors opened on their own, and as they stepped out, music pulsed from inside, the unmistakable scent of expensive liquor, perfume, and corruption thick in the air. The entrance was lined with high-class escorts, their eyes scanning potential clients like hungry predators. Liam barely had a second to take in the scene before Zatanna grabbed his head and covered his eyes. "Don't even dare to look." Lucifer chuckled. "Cute." Liam, muffled under her hand, managed to grin. "You know, if you're jealous, you could just say so." She yanked her hand away. "Shut up." Lucifer gestured for them to follow him inside. "Come on, lovebirds. Time to get settled in." Inside, the club was even more extravagant. The floors were marble, the chandeliers were dripping with gold, and the bar stretched across half the room. Women—both human and not so human—drifted through the crowd, their eyes filled with mischief and danger. Lucifer led them up a grand staircase to the VIP section, where two ornate doors awaited. He pulled two keys from his pocket and handed them over. "These are your rooms. Get some rest. You'll need it for tomorrow." Liam took his key and glanced at Zatanna. "Unless, you know, we share a room." Zatanna's face turned red instantly. "W-What?! No way! Absolutely not!" Liam grinned. "You sound a little too defensive there, Zee. Just admit it, you were considering it." Her hands clenched into fists. "I swear to God—" Liam leaned in with a smirk. "Don't worry, we'll take it slow. Maybe some cuddling first?" Zatanna's eye twitched. "I will kill you." Lucifer smirked, swirling his drink. "Adorable." Sparda's laughter echoed in Liam's mind. She's an even bigger virgin than you, kid. Zatanna, completely flustered, turned on her heel. "I'm done. Goodnight, assholes." Liam chuckled, watching her storm off. But just as she was about to reach her room, he called out, "Hey, Zee." She stopped, reluctantly turning back. "What?" Before she could react, Liam stepped forward and kissed her cheek. Her face exploded in red. She froze in place, eyes wide, mouth slightly open, completely short-circuiting. Lucifer let out a low whistle. "Bold move." Sparda laughed. Oh, that was good. Kid's got guts. Zatanna blinked rapidly. "Y-You… I… You—" Liam just grinned. "Sleep well, princess." With that, he turned and walked into his room, leaving Zatanna standing there, stunned and blushing furiously. Lucifer sipped his drink, smirking. "This is going to be fun." Chapter: Working for the Devil The next morning, Liam and Zatanna met Lucifer downstairs in the club's private lounge. The place reeked of alcohol, cigars, and bad decisions. Lucifer sat at the bar, sipping from a crystal glass filled with something golden and undoubtedly expensive. "Ah, my two little apprentices," Lucifer greeted with a smirk. "Hope you slept well because it's time for your first official day of work." Liam leaned against the bar. "Finally. What are we doing? Hunting demons? Busting supernatural crime rings?" Lucifer grinned. "Sorting out club finances, handling VIP guests, making sure shipments arrive safely—" Liam's eye twitched. "Are you seriously making us do housework?" Zatanna crossed her arms. "This sounds an awful lot like a scam." Lucifer shrugged. "Welcome to employment, sweetheart." Liam groaned. "I knew slavery wasn't over." Lucifer patted his shoulder. "Don't be so dramatic. Now, chop chop, get to work." As they walked out, Sparda's voice echoed in Liam's mind. The legendary Dark Knight reduced to a fucking bellboy. This is tragic. Liam sighed. Shut up. Sparda snorted. No, really. You have a demon king at your side, an insanely powerful magician who's clearly into you, and the best sword ever created, yet here you are—taking orders from a club owner like some low-rent goon. I almost feel bad for you. Liam scowled. You done? Not even close. Job 1: The VIP Disaster Their first job was handling VIP guests in the club's lounge. That meant making sure the high-rollers were happy, ensuring no one started fights, and generally keeping things running smoothly. Of course, things went to hell within the first five minutes. Zatanna was dealing with a particularly handsy businessman when Liam heard someone yelling. He turned to see a massive, seven-foot-tall demon with glowing red eyes flipping over a table. The bouncers were trying to calm him down, but the guy was pissed. Liam sighed. "Well, here we go." He walked over, hands in his pockets. "Hey, buddy, let's take it easy. You're making a mess." The demon snarled. "They watered down my drink!" Liam blinked. "That's it? You're flipping tables over that?" Sparda's voice chimed in. I respect it. A man's drink should be sacred. Liam ignored him. "Look, we can fix this. How about I get you another one? On the house." The demon growled. "And why should I trust you?" Liam smirked. "Because I have a sword that can turn you into a nice pile of demon sushi if you don't calm the fuck down." The demon stared at him for a moment… then huffed and sat back down. "Fine. But it better be strong." Liam turned to the bartender. "Give this guy something that'll put hair on his already hairy ass." The bartender nodded, mixing up a drink that glowed radioactive green. The demon took a sip, grunted, and nodded in approval. Crisis averted. Sparda sighed dramatically. Wow. You de-escalated a fight without bloodshed. I don't even know you anymore. Job 2: The Shipment Screw-Up Their next task was to oversee a shipment arriving at the back entrance. Lucifer's club dealt with special imports—rare liquors, magical artifacts, and occasionally, things that shouldn't exist in this dimension. Liam and Zatanna stood by as the truck pulled up. The driver, a sketchy-looking man with glowing purple eyes, stepped out. "All here?" Liam asked. The guy nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Everything's accounted for." Liam opened the truck. Inside were crates filled with various bottles, enchanted jewelry, and— He froze. "Uh, Zee?" Zatanna looked inside and went pale. "Is that a live vampire in a cage?" Sparda laughed. Oh, I love this job. The vampire inside the cage hissed. "Let me out, you fuckers!" Liam turned to the driver. "You did read the order list, right? I don't remember Lucifer asking for a fucking vampire." The driver scratched his head. "Huh. Thought it was part of the package." Liam sighed. "Right. And I guess you thought the nuclear rune bomb over there was a party favor?" Zatanna facepalmed. "This is beyond incompetent." Just then, the vampire lunged, shaking the cage. Liam looked at Zatanna. "So, what do we do with Dracula Junior here?" She groaned. "We call Lucifer." Five minutes later, Lucifer arrived, took one look at the situation, and sighed. "This is why I never delegate." He snapped his fingers. The vampire and the rune bomb vanished. Liam raised an eyebrow. "Where did you send them?" Lucifer smirked. "Let's just say… Siberia is about to have a very interesting night." Sparda snorted. Man's a war criminal. Job 3: The Stripper Situation Their final job was to make sure the dancers were on schedule for the night's performances. Which meant dealing with divas. Liam and Zatanna found themselves backstage, surrounded by gorgeous women—some human, some not-so-human—arguing over outfit choices, song selections, and stage time. Liam leaned toward Zatanna. "Is it bad that this is the best job we've had so far?" She elbowed him. "Focus, perv." One of the succubi stormed up to them. "I refuse to go on after Jessica. She steals all my moves!" Liam sighed. "Lady, I don't even know who the fuck Jessica is." Jessica, a stunning blonde with glowing violet eyes, stepped forward. "I inspire the others. It's not my fault they can't keep up." Zatanna groaned. "Okay, enough. We'll flip a coin for who goes first. Deal?" The succubi huffed. "Fine." Zatanna flipped a coin. It landed on heads. Liam pointed. "Jessica, you're up first." Jessica smirked. "As it should be." The other succubus pouted but walked off. Liam turned to Zatanna. "We just solved stripper drama with a fucking coin toss. We are too good at this." Sparda scoffed. I hate that I'm stuck with you instead of watching the show. Liam smirked. Cry about it. Enough is Enough By the end of the night, Liam and Zatanna were done. They stormed into Lucifer's lounge, glaring at him. Liam pointed. "I am not here to be your fucking errand boy." Lucifer barely looked up from his drink. "Oh? Did you forget our deal?" Liam clenched his fists. "You said you'd help me get stronger. So far, all I've done is play bouncer, babysitter, and fucking stripper referee." Lucifer smirked. "Welcome to the real world, kid. You don't get everything handed to you." Zatanna crossed her arms. "We're serious. Give us real work." Lucifer chuckled, setting his glass down. "Fine. Since you're so eager…" He leaned forward, eyes gleaming. "I have a demon I need you to kill." Liam and Zatanna exchanged a glance. Lucifer grinned. "His name is Orabos. He's a problem. You take him out, and maybe—maybe—I'll start taking you seriously." Liam smirked. "Now that's more like it." Sparda chuckled. Finally, some real action. Try not to fuck this up, kid.