"Sigh, there's no one here..."
Shiro sighed, completely disappointed that he hadn't recruited a single person. What a failure!
Chisa followed behind him, looking completely dead inside. Of course, no one joined! This guy hadn't even properly promoted their club. The fact that no one stole him away was already a miracle!
Chisa was also experiencing, for the first time, the true terror of the upperclassmen at Izu University.
I mean, seriously—wasn't Shiro just a little handsome? Were people really this shallow?!
"By the way, where's Kitahara? Shouldn't you be a little concerned about your cousin?"
Shiro glanced at Chisa. They were cousins, right? Though, in Japan, cousins could get married… Hm. Whatever, that idiot wouldn't be that lucky.
As expected, the moment Chisa heard Kitahara's name, her expression turned into one of pure disgust, making Shiro extremely curious about what had happened last night.
Suddenly, a heart-wrenching scream burst from the bushes.
"CURSE IT ALL! WHY?!"
"WHY HASN'T A HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS' HAREM CLUB FORMED AROUND ME?!"
Shiro froze in shock.
Who the hell just declared something so insane?!
Looking for high school girls in a university club?!
That's illegal!
However, the moment he saw the person behind the voice, he was no longer surprised.
Kneeling on the ground, furiously pounding the dirt with both hands, was a rather handsome young man… dressed in a frilly maid outfit.
It was none other than the only guy crazy enough to willingly sit next to Kitahara Iori yesterday—Imamura Kouhei, a freshman and a hardcore otaku!
To make things worse, Kitahara himself stood right next to him, wearing nothing but a pair of briefs!
Great. The two people Shiro least wanted to interact with had found each other.
In any normal situation, this would seem completely insane. But with these two?
Yeah. This was exactly how it was supposed to be.
"What's going on?"
Chisa asked from behind him. She had just heard a particularly tragic cry.
"Nothing at all!"
To protect her innocent eyes, Shiro rarely ever lied. But this time, he had to.
At the same time…
A camera appeared in his hands out of nowhere!
He knew he should probably leave, but how could he?! This situation was guaranteed to be hilarious!
His precious camera had to capture every moment of this insanity!
"Wait… a camera?"
"Yup, a camera."
"Where did you get it from?"
"I dunno. Probably from my fourth-dimensional pocket."
"... So you're telling me your pants are a fourth-dimensional pocket?"
"Please don't get caught up in these minor details! A man's body is full of mysteries!"
Chisa was utterly speechless.
This guy… what is he?!
—
Smack!
A hand suddenly landed on Kouhei's shoulder. He turned around and saw the absolute lunatic from class earlier that morning.
"You?!?!"
Not only that, this was the same guy who tried to strip him down in the bushes!
Wait—had he actually escaped the police?!
What a terrifying man!
"Listen, Kouhei, don't give up!" Kitahara said passionately. "If you never give up on your dreams, they'll definitely come true! That's just how the world works!"
Kouhei froze.
He never expected this guy to be the one to comfort him…
"But… reality is cold…"
He thought of the cruel reality and collapsed back onto his knees, shouting,
"Everyone keeps telling me to 'stop dreaming!'"
"'There are no high school girls in university clubs!'"
"'Just join the anime club!'"
"All they say are these ridiculous things!"
No! That's just common sense!
Hell, with his mentality, he'd probably become the president of the anime club the moment he walked in!
Still recording, Shiro was at a loss for words. This guy was even more insane than he had imagined!
"I thought that after entering university, a whole new world would open up before me! That a dreamlike paradise awaited!"
Dude, what the hell do you think a university is?!
This is college, not heaven!
Hell, even heaven wouldn't grant you something this absurd!
You? You're going straight to hell!
"It exists!"
Shiro stared at Kitahara in horror.
Did… did this guy just say something absolutely outrageous?!
"Of course, all of it exists! The new world, the dream-like life! You just haven't found the entrance to that world yet!"
"...Is that so…?"
At that moment, Kouhei's view of Iori changed completely.
Smack!
Kitahara clapped Kouhei on the shoulder. "That's right! So? Want to step into the new world with me?"
Seeing the pure determination in his eyes, Kouhei smiled.
So that's how it was…
He had misunderstood this person all along.
Kitahara Iori… was a good man!
Meanwhile, Shiro silently put away his camera.
He had just witnessed a tragedy unfold before his eyes.
The only question was, would his camera footage be usable as evidence?
Actually, what kind of crime would this even be classified as?
"What are they talking about?"
Chisa finally noticed her idiotic cousin, but it was already too late, the damage had been done.
Shiro stood up. He was quite content being a mere spectator.
"Just two fools having a conversation. We should head back."
"Huh? Aren't we still recruiting members?"
"…No need. That idiot Kitahara already recruited someone for us. Barely counts as a person, but still."
(′｀;)?
Chisa was confused.
Why did it feel like all three of these guys were insanely weird?
Was it just her imagination?
—
"Welcome!"
The moment Kouhei arrived, he was immediately restrained by two beasts. This sealed his fate, he was now officially part of the diving club, Peek a Boo!
"YOU TRICKED ME, YOU BASTARD!"
"Ah~ Clothes really are one of humanity's greatest inventions~"
Shiro casually played the role of a bystander, camera in hand.
Ah~ how nice. If only he could always stay unnoticed like this…
"Shiro~ help out!"
"On my way!"
----------------
"Alright, freshmen! Welcome to the diving club, Peek a Boo!"
"Now, let's decide on the seating arrangement! Please raise your wrists, the ones we just patched up!"
Up front, Tokita and Kotobuki were enthusiastically organizing the initiation event. Everything seemed completely normal.
Almost… too normal.
Like an actual, respectable club.
"Huh, I guess quite a lot of people joined. Maybe this club isn't so bad after all~"
Shiro was beginning to reflect on his earlier assumptions. Maybe he had been too quick to judge.
Maybe…
His thoughts drifted back to his first encounter with the club seniors.
…Yeah.
There was no way he was ever forgetting that first impression.
"Alright, you—head to Table C."
"And you—go to Table B."
The two upperclassmen continued directing people to their assigned seats.
(′｀;)?
Shiro was confused.
Wait, seating arrangement?
How exactly were they deciding this?
Could they please put him somewhere far away?!
"Yo, Shiro! You and Iori, we already know where you belong. Straight to Table A!"
Kotobuki grinned as he made the call.
Shiro and Kitahara exchanged glances.
…This was bad.
They still had no idea how the seating was being assigned, but one thing was clear—
Neither of them wanted to sit next to an idiot (scumbag).
At the same time, they both turned their attention to the three tables. As long as they figured out the criteria, they could escape!
And then they saw it.
Each table had different drinks.
Table C: Soft drinks. 0% alcohol.
Table B: Beer, cocktails, etc. 3% - 8% alcohol.
Table A:Whiskey, vodka, and other hard liquors. 20% - 100% alcohol.
"..."
For once, both of them fell completely silent.
"SWITCH TABLES! I'M GOING TO TABLE B!"
"C! C! I'M ALLERGIC TO ALCOHOL!"
The two instinctively tried to escape.
This was terrifying!
Table A was hell itself.
Was that really 100% alcohol?!
Smack!
Several large hands clamped down on Kitahara's shoulders. The upperclassmen of Peek a Boo had recognized him.
"Oh! If it isn't yesterday's newcomer! Over here, over here!"
"Let's drink until we drop today!"
"You're not winning at strip 𝗝𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗻-𝗽𝗼𝗻 this time~"
Shiro felt a strange mix of morbid curiosity and immense relief. Curious about what the hell happened yesterday…
And grateful that he wasn't there to experience it.
C TABLE! MY SAFE HAVEN! I'M COMING!
Smack!