Harry's eyes met Aayla's. "Much like you, she has had doctrines, platitudes, and rules rammed down her throat for what… 35 years? She somehow thinks that makes her an expert on life, the universe, and everything. I have no use for people who can only quote what they have been told without thinking for themselves about the words others have put in their mouths for them."
"I think I outgrew the concept of believing everything everyone else told me to think by the time I was twenty or so… and as my wives pointed out, I could be an exceptionally slow learner at times," Harry said fondly as he smiled a little bit, "She's long overdue for the revelation that truths about good and evil are best discovered on your own and not spoon-fed to you by others. I mean, is that the standard reaction to anyone that ever questions the Jedi Order?"
At Aayla's inquiring look, Harry clarified. "To slip into an aggressive stance and stop asking questions? I thought you people were against violence, and here she was ready to violently respond to me. Don't even pretend that you didn't see her shift, I know you did by your own reaction to it."
"At least you only seem to be tempted to jam your lightsaber into my head when I'm making smart arse comments, not when I'm simply provoking genuine questions in your mind. Asking you to think for yourself," Harry offered, his voice surprisingly gentle.
Aayla was surprised, the shift had been subtle and would have taken someone very experienced at reading body language and in combat to recognize. She wondered just how much experience Harry had with people like that. Aayla narrowed her eyes, a suspicion dawning on her face. "Is that what you were doing with me? Trying to see if I could think instead of just quote others?"
Harry nodded, unashamedly "To an extent yes. On your end, and this is a compliment, so please don't take it the wrong way, you don't seem as hard core in your absolute reliance on a doctrine written by other sentient beings to live by. You seem to realize that the Jedi Code wasn't written by a god, and there are certainly things wrong with it in its current state."
"Magic, or your 'Force', didn't somehow manifest itself one day and start writing a 'treatise on how to be anal-retentive'," Harry shrugged slightly. "I told you when we first talked that I was provoking you because people reveal more of themselves when they're angry." Aayla smiled a little bit, "That wasn't all you mentioned revealed people's true natures."
Harry grinned, "Yes well, I didn't think she would let me get her drunk. And I have no idea what might get her horny."
"Well, she already told you it takes far more than a small prick to get her excited," Aayla said with a smirk as Harry blinked in surprise. Aayla was pleased that she had gotten a shot in after all the comments he'd directed her way over the past few days.
"Yes well, I don't have much experience with that myself," A wider smile crossed his face for a few moments before his expression grew more serious. "The path to independent thought and reason, is never an easy route, especially in light of what you've likely been fed your entire life."
"Ahsoka has it easier than the two of you," Harry gestured vaguely in the direction of where he had laid the exhausted girl down to sleep.
"Given what she's gone through in the past few weeks, I hardly would say she's had an easy time of it," Aayla disagreed.
"That's true," Harry nodded, "But that's not what I'm talking about. From everything I've seen and she's told me, she had some deeply rooted doubts about your Order already. From starting as a troubled padawan that no one wanted before she was finally assigned, to the trauma of the past few weeks was a breaking point for her. So she's quite willing to believe that the Order is wrong on many fronts." "One would even say eager," Aayla ventured. Her tone was careful as she didn't want to ruin the in depth conversation she seemed to have found herself engaged in with the enigmatic man still sitting casually on the table.
"Also true," Harry replied with a bit of a sigh. "In truth, if I hadn't run into her, it's entirely possible that she would have gone looking for the opposite of your Order and explored that 'Dark Side' you Jedi are all so afraid of. Not joined them outright, but she would've had no problem delving into things better left untouched."
"Are you sure?" Aayla noted how easily he dismissed his role in physically saving Ahsoka. Him taking it as accepted that she would have escaped. But the young woman's words rung in her mind. "I'm dead. Do you understand that? Without him, I'm dead."
"Not really," Harry admitted as he lifted his shoulders in another shrug. "But it's pretty common when people feel like the values they've held and been taught have failed them. They go looking for the exact opposite, many times deliberately."
Harry chuckled a little bit. "The scaled down, melodramatic angsty version of it is known to educators, parents, and guardians everywhere as 'the teenage years'."
Aayla allowed a brief smile to cross her face at that.
"While her path to now has been harder. She finds me encouraging her to think and act on her own easier," Harry said after a brief pause.
"Easier than whom?" Aayla inquired, though she felt she already knew the answer. She was proven right a moment later.
"Easier than you," Harry replied honestly, "She has small doubts but she is jumping in with both feet. You have big doubts that are holding you back even as you want to explore everything I'm showing you about your Force."
Aayla opened her mouth to argue, or protest, she wasn't sure but Harry cut her off with a raised hand. "Why else are you still walking around with the wand that was matched so well to you?"
Aayla bit her lip and looked down. It was true it was right next to her lightsaber and she had been moving around all day carefully of it, and found herself reaching down with her fingers to touch it every so often, feeling warmth spread beneath her finger.
"I can also tell you've had your own doubts. Maybe not the same as Ahsoka, but they're still there," Harry said, his gaze boring into Aayla intently. "I also think, from the way you exploded at me back on the ship when we talked that you have your own personal demons to work through. You will very likely toss more than a few chairs around yourself when you get to that point."
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