If you liked the story and want to read more
or just to support me, copy the link below.
You will find a special membership for:
3 chapter
and another one for:
7 chapters.
patreon.com/zakx205
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
The Next Morning
Blade (slowly opens his eyes, stretches, then talks to himself while still in bed):
"Alright… that was a weird dream. I was fighting a dragon with a giant dick, then it turned into a massive burger, and then freaking Batman swooped in, stole my burger, and screamed, 'I AM VENGEANCE!' … Wait, does that mean I'm hungry? Or do I have serious psychological issues? Probably both."
He gets out of bed, stretches, then looks around his new room, smirking.
Blade:
"A place of my own, a comfy bed, a weapon buffet… all I'm missing is a waffle maker, some donuts, and a swimming pool full of jelly."
Hearing the Titans talking outside, he decides to join them… but since he's Blade, small details like wearing clothes don't really concern him.
Blade (steps out, stretching, completely naked, grinning):
"Good morning, comrades! How's the greatest superhero team that just so happens to have a badass mercenary in their ranks?"
Silence.
The Titans freeze in place. Their eyes widen. Everyone is staring at the same exact point. (What, did you expect them to look at his face?)
Raven (her face turns completely red, covering her eyes, screaming in rage):
"OH MY GOD! PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON, YOU IDIOT!!"
Starfire (screams, hides behind Robin, covering her face):
"This… this is an image I never wanted to witness in my lifetime!"
Robin (his face turning red more from anger than embarrassment):
"Goddamn it, Blade! Get your ass back in your room and PUT SOMETHING ON!!"
Beast Boy (falls to the floor laughing, briefly turns into a fish, then back to normal while clutching his stomach):
"HAHAHAHA! DUDE, I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING! YOU ARE CERTIFIABLY INSANE!"
Cyborg (raises his hand to block his vision, shaking his head with a deep sigh):
"I did not sign up for this shit. I'm just an engineer. Why is this happening?"
Blade (places his hands on his hips confidently, completely unfazed):
"Oh, please! You're all so dramatic! It's just a body! We were born like this! You're just jealous because I look like a Greek statue with a massive cock!"
Raven (immediately uses her powers to summon a huge piece of cloth and aggressively wraps it around him):
"TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!!"
Blade (being dragged away but still yelling):
"Alright! Alright! But this is a violation of my rights! Is this what happens to heroes?! Where's the JUSTICE?! WHERE'S MY DIGNITY?! ALSO, WHERE'S MY BREAKFAST?!"
Beast Boy (still dying of laughter, talking to Cyborg):
"Dude, best morning ever!"
Robin (facepalms, muttering in frustration):
"I hate my life."
A few minutes later, Blade reemerges from his room, now wearing his sleek black and purple suit, adjusting his gloves as he strides through the hallway with exaggeratedly heavy steps, head held high, like a fashion model who has just suffered the greatest injustice known to mankind.
Blade (loudly, dramatically frustrated):
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! What kind of cruel world do I live in?! A body this artistically flawless, this divinely sculpted, this human masterpiece—and yet, it is shunned like some common disgrace?!"
He stops in front of the Titans, crosses his arms, and glares at them like a man betrayed by his closest allies.
Blade:
"You don't deserve me. Yeah, I said it! This perfect body—one that would have made Michelangelo abandon his stone statues and weep—is being treated like some kind of disgrace?!"
Beast Boy (almost falls over laughing again):
"HAHAHAHA, dude, I've never seen someone love themselves this much!"
Robin (crossing his arms, sighing):
"Blade, enough with the drama! You put on clothes, end of story!"
Raven (raises an eyebrow, her voice calm but carrying a clear warning):
"If you don't stop talking about your body, I will send you to a dark dimension where only eternal silence exists."
Blade (places a hand over his heart, pretending to be devastated):
"Oh, Raven! You wound me so cruelly! At least admit I have a physique worthy of appreciation!"
Starfire (still flustered but trying to ease the tension):
"Blade, perhaps… perhaps in your culture, this is normal, but here, it is always best to wear clothing."
Blade (nods slowly, stroking his chin as if in deep thought):
"Hmmm… Alright, alright, I shall accept this conservative society… but don't forget, you all missed a golden opportunity to witness pure banana perfection!"
Beast Boy (collapses onto the couch, still laughing hysterically):
"I LOVE this guy!"
Robin (pinching the bridge of his nose, as if experiencing a migraine):
"This is going to be a long nightmare..."
As Robin rubbed his temples, his head pounding, he asked, "Where the hell did you even come from, Blade? You just appeared out of nowhere yesterday! And why the hell don't you die?!"
Blade immediately drops his dramatic act for a moment, looking at Robin before tilting his head slightly, as if genuinely contemplating the question—something that rarely happens.
"Oh, that's a good question, little Robin! Allow me to explain it in a way that makes it sound like a blockbuster Hollywood movie with an insane budget!"
He casually flops onto the couch, crossing one leg over the other, patting his knee like he's about to tell the most epic story of all time.
"So, picture this—I was in another world. A world called Marvel! A place filled with heroes wearing questionably tight outfits for some reason and villains who try to destroy the world every other day because they apparently have nothing better to do. I was there, living my best life as a genius strategist, elite mercenary, and undeniably charming bastard."
Beast Boy (excitedly):
"Were you a villain or a hero?"
Blade (smirking mischievously):
"Oh, my little green friend, I hate such shallow labels. I was a man who played by his own rules! But… well, apparently, everyone over there decided I was some kind of 'existential threat.'"
Robin (hands on his hips, skeptical):
"Why? What did you do?"
Blade (shrugging casually):
"Oh, nothing much… just, I don't know… causing chaos in New York, ruining a few evil schemes, mocking every overpowered character I met, and driving literally everyone insane? Nothing major, really!"
Robin (narrowing his eyes):
"That still doesn't explain how you ended up here!"
Blade (grinning devilishly, raising a finger as if revealing some great secret):
"Ah-ha! And that is where it gets interesting! You see, everyone—and I mean everyone—decided that I had to die. The heroes, the villains, even the old popcorn guy from the corner of the street! Think about it—a universal alliance just to take me down! Do you realize how much of a menace you have to be for that to happen?!"
Starfire (surprised):
"All the heroes and villains?! That… is very strange!"
Blade:
"Yeah! And after an epic battle filled with explosions, gunfire, and top-tier sarcasm, I was killed… No, scratch that—I was completely obliterated! I guess they just couldn't handle my charming spirit and deadly sense of humor!"
Cyborg (crossing his arms):
"Okay, but how did you come back?"
Blade (lowering his voice, narrowing his eyes like he's revealing a deep secret):
"Now this is where it gets crazy… I woke up in a place that was pure white, nothing but emptiness all around me. And then… I heard a voice. Not just any voice—a divine one."
Beast Boy (eyes wide):
"A god?! Are you talking about The Joker or what?!"
Blade (laughing):
"Hah! No, not that psycho! I mean the actual god, the one who created everything! Can you even imagine how insane I have to be for the creator himself to be grateful to me?!"
Raven (finally speaking, feeling like this story is heading somewhere unexpected):
"…And what did he say to you?"
Blade (placing both hands on his chest, feigning humble innocence):
"Oh, nothing much! Just that he was deeply grateful for what I did in the Marvel universe! He thanked me as if I had saved the multiverse from eternal boredom! Then he decided to send me to a new world… so I could make things more interesting! And just like that… BOOM! Here I am!"
Robin (annoyed):
"And that's it?! You just appeared here?!"
Blade (grinning):
"No, no, not exactly! There was a condition… That god told me I had to pick a side this time, or else I'd just end up dead again. But, eh… you know me, I'm not really into traditional choices."
Raven (narrowing her eyes suspiciously):
"So… did you pick a side?"
Blade (raising a finger, pointing at Raven with a smirk):
"Oh, hell yeah! I chose to protect this adorable little goth girl! And then—BAM! Epic battle against her insane demon father, legendary fights, cinematic moments worthy of an Oscar—you name it!"
Raven (turning slightly red, trying to hide her expression beneath her cloak):
"…You're insufferable."
Beast Boy (slapping Blade's shoulder):
"I swear, I like this dude more and more!"
Robin (facepalming, exasperated):
"This is impossible… There's no way this is real!"
Blade (placing a hand on Robin's shoulder, whispering smugly):
"Robin, my friend… in a world full of gods, magic, and giant killer robots… nothing is impossible."
(Robin swats his hand away and sighs as Blade continues talking like he's the world's greatest storyteller.)
Robin (firmly, staring directly at Blade):
"Hold on… what about your powers? Did you have them in your previous world, or is this something new?"
Blade (stroking his chin, pretending to think deeply):
"Hmmm… Excellent question, Mini Batman! Let me dig through my memories real quick… Ah, yes! Back in Marvel, I was just a genius-level human, a master fighter, and the greatest mercenary your pretty little eyes have ever seen!"
Robin (irritated):
"Stop dodging the question, Blade!"
Blade (raising his hands in surrender, then pointing at himself):
"Alright, alright! I didn't have any superpowers back there. I was just a guy relying on my sharp mind, combat skills, and my deadly charm! I made people tremble with my tactical genius and—well, with my ability to mock everything even in the middle of the most brutal fights!"
Starfire (astonished):
"So… when did you gain this strange regeneration ability?"
Blade (smirking, raising a finger as if revealing a divine truth):
"When the gods decided I was too damn awesome to stay dead!"
Robin (facepalming in frustration):
"Can you ever give a serious answer?!"
Blade (laughing, then shrugging):
"Alright, alright! That god I mentioned? When he brought me back to life, he gifted me a few presents. And one of them was regeneration—kind of like that adorable red idiot from Marvel—!"
Beast Boy (shocked):
"Whoa! So you can regrow even if you get ripped to pieces?!"
Blade (winking at him):
"Oh yeah, little green buddy! But remember—I still feel pain! And a lot of it! But I push through because, well… I'm just too damn cool!"
Raven (calmly, crossing her arms):
"That makes sense in a weird… and disturbing way."
Beast Boy (excited):
"Well, we have to test this out!"
Blade (jumping back, raising a hand defensively):
"Whoa, whoa! No need for a test, little green menace! I assure you, my body has already been through enough!"
Cyborg (laughing):
"But wouldn't it be fun to see just how far you can regenerate?!"
Blade (placing a hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt):
"I'm offended! I thought we were friends! And now you guys want to rip me apart?! Is this what friendship means?!"
Robin (sighing):
"Well, at least now we know your power is new, and that you didn't have it in your previous world."
Blade (grinning mischievously, throwing an arm around Robin's shoulders):
"Yeah… but it's so much fun! Just imagine—no more worrying about wounds, no more fear of death! Just a lot of pain… and a whole lot of fun!"
Robin (shoving his arm off, scowling):
"That does not sound like something to celebrate!"
Blade (laughing):
"Ah, Robin, my friend… You just don't see the bright side of madness!"
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
If you liked the story and want to read more
or just to support me, copy the link below.
You will find a special membership for:
4 chapter
and another one for:
7 chapters.
patreon.com/zakx205