The evening's dusk brought a myriad of colors in the dying sun's light. Swaths of purples, reds, and oranges highlighted the wide blue sky as the great orange sun slowly began its descent along the horizon. Anna and Ororo never spoke of their routine in so many words. It just so happened after post-dinner chores that Anna would seek the weather witch out and join her side while she mediated, her skin warmed by the summer evening air.
Often times the location would vary between the front lawn, to the balcony in Ororo's room, or even the lip of the Olympic-sized pool in the rear of the mansion. More often than not though, Ororo was sure to be found just outside her greenhouse on the roof. Despite being outside the long glass hut, vines like so many tentacles branched out the windows and budded bright pink and white flowers along their long limbs. The mother plant may have been somewhere inside, but the odd plant's many children thrived even outside the protection of the greenhouse, filling the roof with greenery. Among these many vines and limbs was a spot just large enough for Ororo - and conveniently - for Anna to sit next to her.
For the longest time, Anna didn't know what to do with this 'meditation' nonsense. Trying to empty her head and just breathe felt like trying to bail out the ocean with a teacup. On the rare moments, her mind seemed to cooperate, all she felt like doing was falling asleep - and a few times she did. It was all so frustrating, Anna was tempted, especially the first few times, to just get up and leave. After all, punching one of Logan's training dummies felt far more cathartic than just sitting on a roof stewing in her own anxiety. For whatever reason though, she never did. Instead, she found herself asking questions, and Ororo would actually answer.
Ororo had a certain way about her, how she answered Anna's many spit-fire questions about what they were doing. She never argued with Anna or told her she was doing it wrong. Instead, she would gently correct her. Ororo would suggest things like 'not fighting the thoughts and simply letting them float on by' and 'when thoughts are suddenly brought up, don't judge them and don't feel bad. Relax and let them be.' Over the course of several days and weeks, Anna started to feel at least a touch better about sitting out there on the roof of a mansion with nothing but her random thoughts and the crazy swamp plant monster for company. She had even started trying to meditate separate from Ororo. A few times when she was alone in her bedroom and at least once while she was at school in the girls' bathroom. It wasn't always perfect, but it seemed to help at least a little with her anxiety and anger.
However, that evening it was almost like it couldn't be helped. No matter how much she tried to 'let things go' or relax, it felt like every emotion kept coming back tenfold somehow. She found herself more than once picking at the bottom of her shoes or a patch of dry skin near the nail of her thumb. A breeze gently glided over the rooftop, tussling Anna's hair, and played a soft melody on the wooden wind chimes hanging next to the greenhouse door behind them.
"What has you so twisted up, my dear?" Ororo sat to her right as always. Her back was straight and her neck carried her head with such smooth elegance, her upper half looked as if it could be a bust.
"It's hot." Anna curled her back like a wilting flower and rested her forearms on her knees. Another soft gust of air tickled her cheeks and jostled the peddles on the vine creature around them.
"It is humid this evening, yes."
Anna played at the seams in the tops of her sneakers and the fuzzballs in her laces. A silence hung between them before Anna felt the words fall from her lips. "I think you had me pegged wrong at the mall a few weeks ago."
Ororo didn't open her eyes. Instead, she still faced where the sun had set, her face relaxed. "Did I?"
"Yeah. You said: 'I'd make friends faster here than I thought.' I don't think you took into account how much of a fuck up I was when you said that."
"And how, as you put it, 'are you a fuck up,' Anna?"
"Well, since I've gotten here, I've done nothing but piss people off and make enemies." She counted out on her fingers. "Scott, Evan, Kitty - and I'm sure Jean and Kurt are next on the list. Then after that, probably you and Logan. Though I think Logan kinda low-key hates everyone all the time, so I think it's only a matter of time before I say something that makes him want to totally fillet me. Then - I don't know - I might somehow accidentally set the greenhouse on fire because I'm such a fucking idiot, then you'd be forever pissed at me too. Then Xavier, I mean, who knows what that guy is thinking at any given moment." She splayed out her fingers and shook them. "Even though he apparently knows what everyone else is thinking all the time!" She looked at Ororo, and when she saw the other woman hadn't changed her expression in the slightest, Anna hunched back over herself and went back to picking at her shoe. "Anyway, I don't think I'm going to be finding any sort of place for myself in this house anytime soon."
For the first time since they started speaking, Ororo opened her eyes. Her chin pointed toward the horizon and her eyes towards the stars above. "Have you ever wondered, Anna, where mutants come from and why we are so vastly different?"
Anna shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Global warming, air pollution, some genetic mumbo-jumbo horse-shit? As far as difference, it just seems like luck of the draw to me. Some of us have claws in our hands. Some can control the weather. Some -" She looked at her hand and sighed. "Just… destroy."
"It's anyone's guess as to why we have come to be. I'm sure if you were to ask Xavier, he would be able to give you a more meticulous answer. He'd likely tell you something about genetics or radiation. I believe, however, it's a little more complicated than what our modern-day science can fully encompass. Regardless, each and every one of us in this house is saddled with great potential, a great responsibility, and sometimes a great burden thanks to our gifts. Our great variety of gifts as well force us on branching paths from one another. In many ways, we can relate to our fellow mutant. The struggle of being different, the growing pains, and the great mystery of it all. Though, in many other ways, we can never fully understand why a person does what they do, or feels what they feel. In those instances, we can only believe that they are doing their best, and offer our support where we can."
Anna didn't say anything at first. She first watched Ororo's face, then looked up at the darkening patch of sky above.
"Anna, I can't tell you what to do as far as the situations you have found yourself in. What I can tell you, though, is that the pain you feel in your heart right now is temporary. That doesn't make it any less valid, but know that others too feel that same pain in their hearts for reasons yet to be fully revealed to you. I can tell you too that every soul that rests in this home is made of gold and that they love you more than you know.
"You are also not a 'fuck up,' Anna. No one in this house is. You are young and you are angry. Your heart bleeds for justice, and that's a beautiful thing. What we often find when we live with others, however, is a magnified truth in how our actions affect those around us. We can't look the other way when the person we have wounded shares the same room with us or a table. Know too, you are not the only one learning this lesson. You feel a fire in your belly and an icy loneliness in your heart, and so do your fellows. They too are scared and they too lash out without realizing it. When this happens, we must extend a small line of credit to one another and try to remember where that fear and anger may be coming from. Then we come back to the table, communicate, and join together once again as a family.
Ororo looked down at Anna. "Do you understand?"
Anna didn't meet Ororo's gaze. Instead, she was looking down at her bare palms. Her skin was pale and the areas where her fingers bent were dry. They looked so painfully normal, despite what she knew they were capable of. "I guess… since I got here… I've been just been fixated on - well -" She closed her hands into fists. "What happened to me. What happened that night of the incident at my school's dance. What's happened since then… it's been hard to think of anything else. Anyone else.
"It's hard… to not feel jealous sometimes. Of everyone's friendship with each other. That they can - they can touch. But I guess we all ended up here because we're messed up, right? I guess… maybe… I should learn to be a little more sensitive to what everyone else is dealing with."
She felt a hand gently rubbing circles on her upper back. "None of you are 'messed up,' Anna. You are all just saddled with responsibilities well beyond your years, and while another's struggles may not look identical to yours, that doesn't mean they are any less severe than yours. What you are all made to face - it's not fair, for any of you. However, take comfort in knowing that you're not alone. Know too that any mistakes you may have made here are not irreversible or unforgivable. As long as you are doing your very best, it's all anyone can ask of you." The same hand that had been rubbing her back, push the hair out of Anna's face as she looked up into Ororo's. Under the gaze of the other woman's nebula-like eyes, she felt her tender heart melt into a puddle, and her eyes flooded with tears. "You are a sweet and strong young woman, Anna, and I'm glad you are here." She was swallowed up in an all-encompassing, all-forgiving hug which she returned ten-fold.