There was a long silence between us after he heard what I said. Until finally, I was the one who broke it.
"Do you have anything else to say?" I asked, turning to look at him—only to realize he was already staring at me. He sighed again. I was ready to say goodbye since the night was getting late.
"If not, I'll go ahead. I have class tomorrow morning," I added, about to stand up.
"Wait, just five minutes, please," he pleaded, holding onto my wrist.
"I was just waiting for the right time to confess to you. To me, you were already mine. But I'm not sure how you feel about me. I never thought anyone would interfere. I was planning how to make you fall for me. Never in my wildest dreams did I think you'd get into a relationship so easily while I was still figuring things out on my end," he explained.
"That night, when I saw you with him, holding hands… it hit me hard. It was a wake-up call that I should tell you what I've been keeping inside," he said, pointing to his chest. I stayed silent, letting him speak. I could feel the emotion in his words.
"I kept it to myself for so long. Why? Because I was afraid of rejection. I admit I don't know how to court someone. And I was scared that if I confessed, you'd only get mad at me," he admitted.
"I tried to be content with whatever place I had in your life, Lui, because I didn't know how to start anything with you. This is my first time—I don't know anything about this, honestly. That's why I really thought you already understood me and my feelings for you. I never imagined that guy would take you away from me," he continued.
"Georje, let me make one thing clear—you never told me anything that would make me wait for you or hope that someday you'd finally confess your feelings. You know what? You're so confusing. One moment, you're here, and the next, you disappear without a word. I never know when you'll show up again. So no, I was never yours. I belong to myself. Yes, I had feelings for you, but I was hesitant to show it because you were so unpredictable—it was frustrating and scary. I was afraid of hoping for something that would never happen," I shot back at him, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't hold back my emotions anymore. I had been keeping all of this inside for so long. And to top it all off, I was also carrying the guilt and pity I felt for James. My situation wasn't as simple as he thought.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I didn't know that's how you felt all this time. If I had known…" he muttered.
"How? How would you know when you never even talked to me properly? I was always the fool, guessing what you were thinking, and worse, making myself believe that maybe—just maybe—there was something real between us, even without any certainty!" I snapped.
"I just didn't know how to open up to you. My nerves always got the best of me," he complained.
"Where is this conversation even going? Are we just going to talk until morning without getting anywhere? If you have nothing else to say, can I leave now? I'm exhausted," I said, my frustration rising. This was exhausting. I had already poured my heart out—was he still not getting it? This was driving me crazy! Dealing with someone this clueless was so difficult.
"Just a second, please?" he pleaded again.
"Do you have anything else to say?" I asked, annoyed.
"I just want to ask you something," he said softly.
"Fire away!" I answered.
"Would you say yes if I asked you to be my girlfriend?" he asked, looking straight into my eyes, waiting for my answer.
"Wow! Aren't you a little too confident? That's your question? You didn't even bother courting me first?" I scoffed. But I had to admit, as annoyed as I was, I was also blushing.
"Sorry, as I've said, I don't know how to court someone. That's why I'm asking you directly—who knows, someone might snatch you away again," he said shyly, lowering his head as if he had committed a crime.
I couldn't help but laugh, even though I still felt a little annoyed. It wasn't the sweet, dreamy moment I had imagined from the novels I read, but at least we finally cleared things up. Maybe he'd make it up to me once we were officially together.
"You!" I said, playfully pinching his nose.
"This is the last time, okay? You won't get away with this again. It's like you don't have a single ounce of sweetness in your body, you know? You're so hard to read," I complained.
"That's not an answer to my question, Lui!" he protested.
"Ugh, you're so impatient! That's such a turn-off," I teased.
"I'm serious, Lui. It wasn't easy to gather the courage to say all those words to you while fighting off my nerves. I felt like my legs would give out at any moment," he said, frustrated.
I tried to hold back my laughter, but I couldn't help it—some of it slipped through my face. That only seemed to irritate him more, probably because he thought I wasn't taking him seriously. He raised an eyebrow at me while I struggled to suppress my giggles.
"What?" he asked again.
"Fine. You're making fun of me!" he pouted, his face turning red.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm serious, too. It's just… I didn't expect to hear something like this from you. You have a unique way of confessing," I explained.
"Why? What's wrong? I just did what I had to do!" he defended himself.
"Nothing. Fine, okay. Yes," I said, squeezing his hand while smiling at him.
"You mean… we're together now?" he asked.
"Why? Do you not want to? Fine, forget it. I'm easy to talk to," I teased again.
"Stop it! No take-backs," he grumbled before pulling me into a tight hug.
"Thank you… I thought I'd lose you," he whispered while holding me close.
"Are you good now? Can we go home? It's really late, and they might lock the gate thinking I'm not coming home tonight," I explained.
He immediately nodded and held my hand as we walked back to the apartment. He left right after I entered the gate. We were both quiet. "Thank you" and "bye" were the last words we exchanged that night.
Morning came, and as usual, I woke up to the blaring sound of my alarm clock. After my morning routine, I was ready for school. Nika and I left together since we had the same first subject every Tuesday and Thursday. My days went by smoothly, and I made sure to savor the time while my schedule was still manageable.
Georje asked for my schedule, and I gave it to him—he gave me his as well. So far, no one knew about us except for his two shadows, Ali and Jed. The three of them always followed me around and ate with me before we went our separate ways to go home.
Eventually, my schedule became hectic again as we resumed our exposure training. There was no issue since I had already explained my lifestyle to Georje. Sometimes, when he saw me outside the campus, we'd chat for a bit. He knew what time I finished my classes and which route I usually took with my groupmates. So far, Mitch, Zette, and the rest of my group knew about us since I was always with them, and I had already introduced him to them.
I told Georje that I was just waiting for the right time to tell VM. Honestly, I wasn't ready yet because I wasn't sure how they'd react. The time between my breakup with James and getting together with Georje was so short. But Georje was fine with it. Besides, I hadn't invited him to the apartment yet since I always came home late, and we didn't always get to see each other.
Weeks passed, and the moment we had been waiting for finally arrived—we completed the required number of hours for our exposure training. We had visited various TV stations, FM and AM radio stations, and publishing houses for daily and tabloid newspapers. It was exhausting, but we truly enjoyed the experience. At the same time, we learned a lot—things that weren't taught in theory. It felt amazing because every day was an adventure—you never knew what would happen next.
This was a prerequisite for our OJT, which would start in the first semester of our fourth year and continue into the second semester. Because of this, I decided to take a step back from the dance troupe since things were about to get even busier. We had to balance our OJT with preparations for our month-long educational tour in Cebu—our final project before taking the comprehensive exam instead of writing a thesis.
I really prepared for this, which is why I endured taking a full load every semester and even took advance classes during the summer. That way, by the time I reached my fourth year, I wouldn't have to worry about any extra subjects. Less pressure, less stress.
It feels like just yesterday when Georje and I had that conversation at the mini park and officially became a couple. Before the semester ended, I finally introduced him to VM and the rest of my apartment-mates. I had expected the worst since I knew they preferred James over Georje.
Speaking of James, unexpectedly, he invited me to his graduation. He actually waited for me just so he could personally hand me the invitation. I was overwhelmed because I never thought he would treat me as if nothing had happened. He even told me he wanted to let me know early so I could mark it on my calendar organizer. He knew I always kept my schedule there, as he used to check it every time we saw each other. He once told me he found it amusing since it was the first time he had seen someone use an organizer like that—he thought it was only meant for office work.
Things have been normal between me and our org-mates, even with AC, James' best friend. AC is still his usual teasing self, so there's no escaping his pranks, especially when he catches me at home. I don't see them as often at school anymore since I spend most of my time with Georje. The two shadows—Ali and Jed—no longer follow us around because they want to give us some privacy.
But adjusting to my relationship with Georje hasn't been easy. We constantly argue about time because he's always super late. Just when I start thinking he won't show up, he suddenly appears. It's frustrating to wait for two to three hours. I'm extremely time-conscious, something I inherited from my dad. That's how we were raised—to value every minute and never be late. We were taught it's better to arrive early and wait than to be the one making others wait. But when it comes to him, no matter how much I complain and no matter how long it takes, I still manage to wait.
I'm also quick when getting ready; if I have to go somewhere, I can leave the house or apartment without even putting on powder, sometimes just using my hands to comb my hair while walking to catch a jeep or cab.
I'm not fussy about my appearance, clothes, or even food. I prefer simplicity and don't like unnecessary fuss. I wear makeup, but only occasionally. I'm not the type of girl who acts or dresses overly girly, but I'm definitely a woman.
My relationship with Georje isn't perfect. As time passes, we learn more about each other's personalities. Lately, we've been clashing a lot, but we always manage to sort things out. Between the two of us, I'm the vocal one. He, on the other hand, barely says a word even when he's at fault, which only makes me more annoyed.
"Why are you so late?" I asked the moment he walked toward me. I was waiting outside the campus because he had called earlier, saying he'd pick me up after his class. We were supposed to meet at 5 PM by the school gate.
"Sorry, my groupmates and I had to finish something for a major subject," he explained with a slight smile.
"If that was the case, you shouldn't have told me 5 PM in the first place. I've been standing here like an idiot for two hours. Do you even realize someone has been waiting for you? Next time, be more responsible. You could've at least stepped out for a second to inform me instead of making me look like a fool here," I complained.
"I'm really sorry. I promise it won't happen again. Let's eat—I'm starving. But you're paying first, okay? I'm short on allowance," he said.
"Ugh. Why can't I stay mad at him?" This is the first time I've experienced being the one who always pays for our meals, but it's fine. I love him, so it doesn't matter.
"Fine, let's go," I said as I walked straight toward the jeepney stop.
When I got home, everyone was busy working on their projects and requirements. It was our final weeks, just two weeks before the semester ended. Everyone was preoccupied, especially AC and Yara, since they would be the first to graduate among us. VM, Nika, and I were in the same batch. After changing clothes, I stayed up to work on my own requirements and reviewed for a long quiz in one of my minor subjects.
Despite all our mischief, we were serious when it came to our studies. None of us wanted to fail a subject—it would be a hassle and an extra expense. Plus, our parents would surely scold us if that ever happened.
Days passed quickly, and now it was final week. I hadn't seen Georje for a few days since I was busy reviewing and finishing group projects. During this time, sleepless nights became the norm for most of us. VM was also extremely busy with their exposure training at mental hospitals since they were in the Psychology program.
"VM, have you eaten yet? Did you just get home?" I asked as I walked in, noticing her staring blankly into space.
"Hey! What's up with you? You seem so deep in thought!" I said, nudging her.
"Huh?" she responded.
"I asked if you've eaten yet and if you just got home. But it seemed like you didn't hear me, so I had to poke you," I explained.
"Oh, sorry. I'm just tired," she replied briefly.
"Did you come from your exposure?" I asked while heading to the kitchen to get some water. The heat outside was exhausting—I had taken a jeepney as usual unless I was in a hurry, in which case, I had no choice but to take a cab.
"No. We were just at school. Our exposure ended two weeks ago," she answered lazily.
When I returned, I handed her a glass of water and sat beside her.
"You look really down. Did something happen? What's wrong?" I asked in quick succession.
"Lui, I have something to tell you. Can this stay between us?" she said weakly, looking at me.
"Of course! You know you can count on me for things like this," I assured her.
"I had a fight with David. It's so frustrating—he just doesn't understand me," she complained.
"Oh, come on! You two are fighting now, of all times—right when we have finals? What was it about?" I asked.
"It was actually something small. We just couldn't agree on what to eat for lunch. I wanted to go to the mall since I had a long break, but he refused because he had an exam right after lunch and didn't want to run out of time. So, I said I'd just go by myself to relax and satisfy my cravings, but he wouldn't let me go alone. It's so annoying!" she said, irritated.
"And then?" I prompted.
"I lost my appetite. I didn't join him in the cafeteria, and the worst part is, he was with his friends, and those girls were clinging to him like leeches. It was like our fight didn't even matter to him. He didn't even seem worried that I skipped lunch—he was just laughing with them the whole time. Fritzy and Shadz, who were also at the cafeteria, saw them and asked where I was, and he just said he didn't know!" she explained at length, her eyes welling up.
"Maybe he just didn't want to make it obvious that you guys had a problem," I suggested.
"No, even after his exams, I know exactly what time his last class ends. I thought he was waiting for me at the lounge, but he wasn't. My classmates and I hung out there for a while after our exams, but I didn't see him. My brother was even there," she argued.
"Just let it go for now. Maybe he was just out of sorts today, which is why you clashed. But I'm sure you'll work it out. He wouldn't dare mess things up, especially with your brothers around," I reassured her.
"But what if he doesn't show up tomorrow? What do I do then?" she asked, still on the verge of tears.
"Oh, come on! Stop overthinking. Can you just set aside your issues with David for now and focus on studying for your exams tomorrow? Worry about your relationship after we're done with our finals," I scolded her.