Chapter 29: A Hollow Meal
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An Absence of Comfort
The aroma of my mother's cooking fills the air, a scent that should bring warmth—
But it doesn't.
The fog of apathy around me is too thick, too suffocating.
I sit at the dinner table, surrounded by the cheerful chatter of my family—
But their voices feel distant, muffled, like a conversation happening in another world.
One I no longer belong to.
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A Smile That Means Nothing
They try.
They laugh, joke, ask me questions—forcing the illusion of normalcy.
I return their smiles, but they are empty gestures, muscle memory and nothing more.
A meaningless twitch of the lips.
Because what else am I supposed to do?
Let them see what's really inside me?
The hollow emptiness, the chilling indifference?
No.
This mask is all I have left.
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The Taste of Nothingness
The food sits untouched on my plate.
I pick at it mechanically, each bite devoid of taste, of joy, of anything at all.
The vibrant colors of the meal almost seem to mock me—
A stark contrast to the dull, colorless void inside me.
Even eating feels like an obligation, a ritual I no longer understand.
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The Unspoken Worry
The silence between bites stretches too long, an uncomfortable chasm that no one knows how to cross.
The clinking of cutlery is the only sound, a sharp, cold noise in the heavy air.
My family's concern is palpable—but they don't say it.
They just watch.
Worried glances. Tightened smiles.
The smallest shifts in body language.
A slight leaning away, an unconscious hesitation—
As if they can sense the impenetrable wall I've built around myself.
As if they know that no matter how much warmth they offer,
It won't reach me.
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A Shadow Over the Dinner Table
Dinner—once a moment of comfort, of unity—
Now feels like a ritual of quiet suffering.
The warmth of the room fails to cut through the cold inside me.
The kitchen light flickers slightly, its glow feeling weaker, dimmer.
Like even the world around me is starting to reflect what I've become.
A shadow sits at the table with us.
Not one they can see—
But one I feel.
Growing.
Waiting.