Uncle Charlie stumbled into the house at 5 AM, looking like he had fought a slot machine and lost. Raja, who had just returned from England, raised an eyebrow at the sight of Charlie clutching a martini glass and still wearing a poker visor.
"Charlie, weren't you supposed to be at Jake's soccer game yesterday?" Alan asked, arms crossed like a disappointed mother.
Charlie groaned. "I was supposed to. But Vegas happened."
Jake, sipping his morning juice, sighed dramatically. "It's okay. We only lost 12 to 2."
Alan patted his son's head. "Winning isn't everything, Jake."
Jake deadpanned, "Yeah, but losing by ten goals kinda is."
Raja, chuckling, clapped Jake on the back. "Don't worry, little man. I'll take you to your next game, and we'll make it legendary."
At the game, Raja found himself seated next to Kate, a gorgeous single mother whose son was currently terrorizing the field by chasing butterflies instead of the ball.
Raja smirked. "So, does your son usually turn soccer into an episode of National Geographic?"
Kate chuckled. "He's more of an artist. Sports are just... not his thing."
Raja nudged Jake. "Buddy, go play with Kate's kid. Teach him how not to be distracted by grass."
Jake sighed. "Fine. But I better get ice cream for this."
The boys ran off while Raja smoothly turned his attention to Kate. "So, what do you do when you're not wrangling your tiny Picasso?"
Kate sipped her drink. "Haven't had much free time in the past 12 years."
Raja grinned. "Let's fix that."
Fast forward to later that night—Kate had definitely gotten some "Hard core free time" with Raja. Though afterward, she sighed, "This can't happen again."
Raja smirked. "Oh yeah? See you at the next soccer game?"
Kate playfully rolled her eyes.
The next match, Raja found himself roped into helping a soccer mom named Gloria with the team newsletter. However, Gloria's definition of "newsletter help" included flirting aggressively.
"Oh, Raja, you're so good with words," Gloria cooed, touching his arm.
"Uh-huh," Raja said, sensing the hormonal tension rising.
Just then, Brooke, another soccer mom, sauntered over. "Gloria, don't monopolize Raja. I need his help picking fundraiser ideas."
Raja blinked. Fundraiser ideas?
The tension was thick. Before a full-blown soccer mom war erupted, Raja raised his hands. "Ladies, let's settle this like adults. How about we discuss both newsletters and fundraisers... over drinks?"
That night, drinks turned into a hotel stay, and well—let's just say Raja had mastered the art of diplomacy.
Meanwhile, Leonard and Rajesh were busy mocking doomsday theorists worried about the Large Hadron Collider creating a black hole.
Rajesh snorted. "People actually think the world will end?"
Leonard nodded. "Yup. And they also think putting pineapple on pizza is acceptable."
As they laughed, Rajesh found a flyer for a clinical trial for social anxiety medication. "Hey, maybe this could cure my selective mutism!"
Leonard smirked. "Or you could just keep drinking."
Rajesh glared. "I prefer science, Leonard."
At Sheldon's office, Leonard and Rajesh found him gasp talking to a woman. A young woman.
It turned out to be his twin sister, Missy.
Missy smirked. "Oh wow, so these are the nerd minions my brother keeps locked away?"
Sheldon huffed. "I do not keep them locked away."
Leonard: "Uh, Sheldon, you literally locked us out last week."
Missy ignored him. "Anyway, I just need Sheldon to sign some estate papers. And he thinks Mom sent me here to spy on him."
Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "Did she?"
Missy: "Yes."
Sheldon gasped.
Later, when Raja arrived, he immediately noticed Missy.
"Wait, you're Sheldon's sister? Damn. That's unexpected," Raja said, impressed.
Missy grinned. "You're a lot more interesting than my brother's usual company."
Raja turned to Penny. "Penny, do me a favor—take Missy somewhere fun."and gave his Credit card to penny.
Penny: "Aye aye, Captain." took the card and missy and left the battlefield of nerds.
Meanwhile, at the 99th Precinct, Jake Peralta was celebrating an arrest.
"I finally got Dustin Whitman! Caught him red-handed!" Jake announced proudly.
Captain Holt, deadpan: "Without any actual evidence you got 48 hours Peralta?"
Jake's face fell. "Uhh... yes?"
Amy sighed. "We have 48 hours to find real evidence, or Holt will have to let him go."
Raja, walking in, noticed the glum faces. "Damn, who died? Oh wait—no one, because you don't have evidence."
Jake: "Ouch."
Raja tapped his chin. "If Whitman didn't do it, maybe one of his jail mates or cousins did. Check their records."
Jake's eyes lit up. "RAJA, YOU GENIUS!"
Jake kissed Raja on the cheek and sprinted out of the room.
Terry: "That's gotta be the weirdest thing I've seen today."
One hour later, Jake and Charles returned, triumphantly holding the real criminal's ID.
Jake: "Case closed, baby!"
Just then, the Vulture stormed in, ready to steal the case.
"Nice try, Peralta, but I'll be taking credit for—"
Jake cut him off. "NOPE! Case is solved! Boom!"
The Vulture screamed internally.
Raja's Victorious Weekend
By the time Raja wrapped up his eventful weekend, he had:
✔ Slept with two soccer moms
✔ Met Missy Cooper
✔ Solved a police case
✔ Prevented a nerd war
✔ Convinced Jake to use his brain
As he sat in his Forbidden Villa, sipping a drink, Hogi materialized.
Hogi: "Big brother, why do you always cause chaos?"
Myr snorted. "It's his superpower."
Raja grinned. "Exactly."
TO BE CONTINUED… (With More Madness)