Deep in his secret underground lab, Raja stood over an array of glowing scrolls, looking like an overworked scientist in a fantasy anime. The walls were lined with ancient books, glass vials bubbling with questionable substances, and—most importantly—a large chalkboard filled with scientific nonsense that only he understood.
"Alright, let's see... how do I make a virus that screws Muzan over so badly he considers early retirement?" Raja muttered, tapping his chin.
His latest brilliant invention: an Anti-Muzan Virus, designed to sever Muzan's connection to his demons and forcefully extract his toxic blood from their systems. Basically, it would be the demon equivalent of uninstalling Windows updates—without their permission.
He glanced at Tamayo, his new lab partner/victim, and smirked. "Don't worry, Doc. I'll have you back to being a normal human in no time. Just need to find a guinea pig first."
Luckily, fate handed him the perfect opportunity. The mission to Mount Natagumo. A demon-infested hellhole? With a Lower Moon demon lurking about? It was practically a buffet of test subjects.
With a flick of his wrist (not literally), he summoned the Three Stooges—a.k.a. Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu.
"Alright, children, listen up," Raja said, crossing his arms like a disappointed dad."You're all going to Mount Natagumo. I'll be supervising, but if you embarrass me, I will personally make you suffer in training for a month. Understood?"
Zenitsu paled. "T-training with you?! Oh no, oh no, oh no—"
Before he could finish spiraling into an anxiety attack, Raja clapped his hands."Good talk. Off you go."
The trio stood at the base of Mount Natagumo, staring up at the creepy, web-infested monstrosity of a mountain.
"Alright, team!" Tanjiro said, his usual protagonist energy shining through. "Stay sharp, and let's be careful!"
"Ha! As if I'd be scared of some dumb mountain!" Inosuke snorted, adjusting his boar mask. Then, he turned to Tanjiro, deeply confused."Wait… what's 'good luck' mean?"
Zenitsu, already having an existential crisis, snapped. "HOW ARE YOU ASKING THIS NOW?! WE'RE ABOUT TO DIE!"
"It's a fancy way of saying 'try not to die,'" Raja yawned from a nearby tree.
"Hah! Then I don't need luck!" Inosuke boasted.
Zenitsu clutched his head."WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY PSYCHOS?!"
Just as things were spiraling into a comedy special, Tanjiro's nose twitched.
"Demon scent. I'm going in!"
And like a true protagonist, he RAN STRAIGHT INTO DANGER.
"DAMN IT, TANJIRO, WAIT!" Zenitsu shrieked.
"AHAHAHA! I LOVE THIS GUY!" Inosuke yelled, barreling after him.
Zenitsu, however, stood frozen, sweating. "N-nope! Not going in there! I'll stay right here and—"
"Zenitsu," Raja's voice suddenly boomed from the trees, "if you don't go, you will be my training partner for the rest of the year."
Zenitsu's soul left his body. He remembered the horror of Raja's training.
Zenitsu.exe has stopped responding.
Then—he took off like a bullet.
"WAIT FOR ME, GUYS! I'M COMING!"
Raja smirked and created three clones to follow them. "Fear is an excellent motivator."
The deeper they went, the worse it got.
Webs covered everything. The air felt thick, suffocating, and the scent of rotting corpses was strong.
Then—they found a Demon Slayer.
"H-Help! My team—"
Before he could finish, a web YANKED him into the forest.
Tanjiro gasped.
Inosuke, on the other hand, cracked his knuckles."FINALLY! A REAL FIGHT!"
Raja, still chilling in the trees, yawned."Yeah, that guy's dead."
Tanjiro glared."Raja-san, be more sensitive!"
"Fine. He's probably dead."
Before they could process that horrible reality check, another terrified Demon Slayer appeared.
"T-They made us kill each other!"
Inosuke's solution?
Punch him in the face.
"TOO MUCH TALKING, NOT ENOUGH FIGHTING!"
Raja slow-clapped."Such a gentle soul."
Meanwhile, Zenitsu was having a panic attack.
"WHY DID THEY LEAVE ME? DO THEY HATE ME?"
His sparrow, done with his nonsense, pecked his head.
"MOVE, YOU IDIOT!"
Zenitsu hesitated—then remembered Raja's training.
Pure terror fueled his legs.
And he RAN LIKE HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.
Soon, they were attacked by mind-controlled Demon Slayers.
"They're still alive!" Tanjiro yelled.
"SO? I'LL JUST LIGHTLY STAB THEM!" Inosuke suggested.
"NO, INOSUKE!"
Inosuke sniffed the air."I CAN SENSE YOU!"
Using Beast Breathing, Seventh Form: Spatial Awareness, he located the demon on a boulder.
"THERE YOU ARE!"
He lunged forward—but was slammed into a tree.
"Ow."
They realized a female demon was controlling them.
"Mother, deal with them," a pale child-like demon said from the trees.
Tanjiro tensed."Who is that?"
Raja, sipping tea: "Oh, just a kid with severe family issues."
The Mother Demon, terrified of Rui, decided to snap her puppets' necks to kill them.
Tanjiro screamed and ran towards her. Inosuke—actually no, he was just confused.
But before the Demon Slayers could die—
SWOOSH!
A golden flash filled the forest.
With one effortless swipe, Raja's Trishul severed ALL the threads.
The Demon Slayers collapsed, freed.
Raja flicked his wrist."There. Fixed it."
The Mother Demon froze. She realized—she had lost.
Tanjiro, seeing her fear, changed his blade's trajectory.
With a gentle slice, he gave her a painless death.
The forest went silent.
Then—Inosuke turned to Raja.
"Did… did that just happen?"
Raja yawned."Yeah, yeah. You're welcome."
He turned to the remaining Demon Slayers.
"Alright, pack it up. You're all leaving. I'm not saving you twice."