What kind of friend was I? When Jenna collapsed, I simply turned around and left.
Yes, I was an asshole friend, but I had a principle that I wouldn't readily accept anyone badmouthing my image, no matter what the reason. If asked if Jenna was a good friend, I'd say yes. However, there were times when I found her to be manipulative and annoying. One of them was a few hours ago.
She felt like she was on her own turf, so she dared to be arrogant even without doing anything.
Let's say I was assuming too quickly, but... if you were in my shoes, would you like someone to think negatively about you even if it was true?
Jenna was right that I loved Blake, even if it ruined their relationship. She was right when she said I was probably upset over their marriage. However, she shouldn't have speculated.
I was upset; yes, I was. But what could I do? Did that mean I was going to ruin their wedding? It didn't, did it?
Liar! You were a big liar, Clara. You even had it all planned out with John.
Okay, okay... I did plan to keep them apart, but I was pretty self-aware. There was no way I could have Blake even if Jenna ultimately chose Doctor Karl.
"You just got home?" asked a voice that almost made me jump. My mind hadn't returned, so John's soft, ear-pleasing baritone startled me. "Did you hear the news about Jenna?" he asked, making me even more restless.
"What news?"
"She's just been taken to the hospital by her future husband," said John, who repeatedly glanced at me as if he was deliberately saying all this and wanted to see my reaction. "That man seems to really love Jenna."
I almost turned around with a rough sigh—I didn't do it, but I looked at him, standing not far from me, long enough for him to realize I wasn't in a good mood.
"What's wrong? Why is your face like that? Are you jealous because of what I just said?"
"Please, Doc. Stop that. I know we're in the middle of a plan, but provoking me with things like that isn't my favorite way to play."
"You need to get used to it. Because I see you're very passive, I guess a little pop is in order." He came closer to me, bent down slightly to align our eye levels, and looked at me wordlessly for a few moments. "Don't forget, we have to work together. If it's just me trying, it won't work. You did a good job getting Jenna to collapse so she could see Ryan more often, but why not do something about her future husband?"
I shook my head in disbelief at this crazy man's words. Especially after saying that, he smiled as if the news about Jenna didn't bother him as a doctor.
"You're not crazy, are you? I didn't intentionally make Jenna collapse, okay? We had a disagreement, and when I left, she just collapsed."
"Fuck, whether it was on purpose or not. You should've gone with them and encouraged Jenna's future husband and-"
I didn't want to hear anymore. John's words only fueled my emotions and made my mood even worse.
I'd never intentionally done anything terrible to Jenna except that time to get Blake's attention and heart. However, I realized that, no matter what, that man's feelings would never change. It would always be Jenna, who he loved.
So, why was I willing to go through with this fake marriage?
***
I missed Jenna. I really did. However, imagining what she would do—perhaps making out with Blake in front of my eyes, made me reluctant to start a conversation.
Call me the antagonist in this story; it was true.
Everyone liked her for a long time. Her physique made every eye that saw her easily give compliments. However, that wasn't what I was jealous of. Really, it was all about Blake.
I remember once she told me that she never liked Blake. He was just a friend, she said. However, when I told her I liked him, they instantly became close, and it was quite surprising to me.
So, did you know what Jenna said when she realized I knew about their relationship?
"I never wanted any of this. You can take Blake if you love him that much. I love our friendship more than a man."
I felt stunned by her words as if she was the only one who cared so much about friendship. It was as if I was willing to sacrifice everything just for a man like Blake, who, if I wanted, I could quickly get anyone like him anywhere.
"Don't daydream. You'll get possessed if you keep doing that," said a man entering my room without knocking. "Sorry, I just had to come in. I'm sure you're not changing your clothes."
"What do you want?"
"Nothing. Just wanted to say hello." What an absurd excuse.
I sighed, focused on the mature man before me, and asked the same question again. "Tell me what you want from me? You've already got a partner for your crazy idea; what else?"
"Hey... why are you saying that as if this is just my wish? If you don't want to go through with this, why accept it?" He looked annoyed, but even from the way he spoke, it didn't sound harsh in the least.
John was a calm, loving, possessive, and sometimes cold man by nature. However, there was no snapping that he gave me, even though I sounded annoying.
"Because I-" I didn't know, John. I didn't understand myself. Seeing how Blake loved Jenna so much, I realized there was no way I would win his heart.
I shook my head as I looked down. I lifted my face briefly to see John's expression and found a look I couldn't translate. I was stupid—so stupid that I didn't understand what it was like to love.
To be more precise, I'd never felt loved so much as Blake and Doctor Karl did for Jenna. Or like John had for Hell.
I wanted the love like that. I wanted it effortlessly.
John pursed his lips for a moment, I didn't know what his expression meant. Was he angry with me? Was he upset that I wasn't a good partner for him?
"You can terminate this agreement if you want, Doc," I said weakly.
"That means you're prepared to pay a penalty."
"Penalty? Seriously?"
"Don't forget, the agreement is legal, Clara. You can't violate the contract at all, and anyway, we're already married."
"So?"
"Nothing else we can do but hang in there and keep trying. I still believe in you as long as you put in the effort."
"John, I-"
Before I knew it, he was near me, crouching down so I could talk to him more freely, and he grabbed both my shoulders. "You can do this. Trust me. If you don't want Blake anymore, that's fine. As long as you can keep Jenna with Ryan. No matter what."
I was taken aback by the ambition implied by the sentence he had just spoken. I shook my head in disbelief while he didn't move an inch from his spot. In fact, he seemed to be getting closer to me.
"Tell you what. How about lunch or dinner?"
Once again, the man with the dirtiest head in the world stung me with his words. Lunch or dinner, he said? Would his slut be okay with him sitting at the same table as me? I certainly didn't want to get slapped once again by that woman.
"Wh-what about Hell? I-I mean, Hellen. I'm worried that she-"
"Don't think about her. You can choose whether to eat at home or at a restaurant. I'll protect you as long as you don't cause trouble."
What the heck!? Trouble? Had I ever made trouble with you or your crazy girlfriend, John? NEVER!
But stupidly, that sentence just hung on the tip of my tongue.
"Alright, then. Tomorrow night at seven. Your choice, home or restaurant?"