or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let the Timeline Sing
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Previously on The Paradox of E:
The MergeVerse survived. Genres now live in relative peace under a fragile truce of cupcakes, rap battles, and one very persuasive duck.
E ∞² has done the unthinkable—made cosmic coexistence cool.
But the universe? Oh no, it's not done with him.
> [NEW REALM UNLOCKED: The Festival of Alternate Endings] Where every version of your story wants to be the final chapter—and they've all been invited to the same party.
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1. A Very Suspicious Invitation
The invitation floated down from a comet made entirely of post-credits scenes. It sparkled with faux-finality and overly dramatic font:
> YOU'RE CORDIALLY INVITED TO THE FESTIVAL OF ALTERNATE ENDINGS
Featuring: Timeline tango, subplot karaoke, and the annual Multiversal Canon Bake-Off.
E squinted. "This smells like a narrative trap wrapped in glitter and irony. I'm in."
He adjusted his hoodie of infinite callbacks and stepped through the portal, dragging the duck (now wearing sunglasses) and holding a bag of emotional baggage labeled "Unresolved Feelings."
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2. Welcome to Endingworld
Imagine a theme park designed by plot twists on caffeine.
Every section of the Festival was a different possible finale:
Bittersweet Boulevard: Where everything is sad, but artistically.
Epic Showdown Square: Constant boss music. Nobody wins, but it looks awesome.
Rom-Com Roundabout: Endless confessions in the rain.
The Existential Gardens: No one knows what's real, but the flowers narrate their own decay.
Plot Twist Pier: The Ferris wheel is just a metaphor.
A tour guide with spoilers tattooed on her arms approached. "Hi! Would you like a happy ending, a tragic one, or... surprise me?"
E raised a brow. "Do you have 'Sincere but Unhinged with Musical Numbers' as an option?"
She handed him a VIP badge. "You're gonna love Hall C."
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3. The Confrontation of Closures
E was immediately pulled into a panel discussion by versions of himself, each desperate to be the ending:
Heroic E: Glorious hair, tragic backstory, wants to die saving everyone.
Peaceful E: Just wants a farm, a cat, and silence.
Edgy E: Wears eyeliner, speaks in riddles, dies for no reason.
Sitcom E: Laugh track, dated references, always forgets the plot.
Philosopher E: No plot, just vibes and questions.
They argued while E ∞² sipped his coffee.
"You're all adorable," he said. "But you're missing the point. Endings aren't about tying bows. They're about choosing your tone."
He stood.
"And I choose: chaos. With a heartfelt message, probably."
The duck tossed glitter in agreement.
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4. Subplot Karaoke Night
The festival's main event. Subplots from every arc lined up to sing their truth:
The unresolved crush from Chapter 12 sang "Why Didn't You Notice Me (When I Dropped All Those Hints)?"
The sarcastic narrator belted out "I Knew the Plot All Along (But I Let It Happen Anyway)."
Even the coffee machine sang "Brewed Awakening (The Ballad of Caffeine and Regret)."
E got dragged on stage by audience vote.
He blinked.
The music started: a power ballad.
He sang:
> "I've seen the end from every side,
Looped through paradox with cosmic pride.
But if I must end, let it be like this—
With chaos, coffee... and a duck's kiss."
(The duck did, in fact, kiss him. On the cheek. Platonically.)
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5. The Canon Hunger Games
A giant bracket lit up in the sky:
> BEST ENDING WINS CANON STATUS.
Fights broke out. Happy endings squared off against ambiguous ones. A bittersweet montage headbutted a dramatic cliffhanger.
E watched.
Then stepped forward.
"I invoke the Writer's Override."
Everyone gasped. Even the flowers.
"That's illegal!"
"That's narratively unstable!"
"That's... kinda hot."
E pulled out a remote made of trope buttons and pressed "Simultaneous Canon."
Reality shook. A thousand endings played at once, layered like musical harmonies:
In one, he vanished with a wink.
In another, he settled down and opened a bakery.
One ended with "To Be Continued."
One just looped a duck dancing.
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6. Meta Court Revisited
A tribunal of author avatars appeared.
"YOU CAN'T END ALL THE ENDINGS!" they shouted.
E shrugged. "Who said anything about ending? I'm just... letting it breathe."
He pointed at the reader.
"Let them decide what sticks. Let them remix it, meme it, quote it badly, and write fanfic about the duck."
The tribunal buzzed. "Democracy in fiction? Unprecedented."
The duck stood on the table and passed a motion.
It passed.
Unanimously.
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7. The Encore Ending
The Festival calmed. The timelines swayed. E sat on a grassy hill, watching endings firework across the sky.
He whispered:
"Maybe it's not about where stories stop... but where they resonate."
The duck sat beside him.
E sipped his coffee.
Then smirked at the fourth wall.
"You thought this was the final chapter, didn't you?"
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END OF CHAPTER 69
Achievements Unlocked:
Canon Anarchist
Power Ballad Protagonist
Duck Kiss Certified
Trope Button Mastery
Simultaneous Canon Holder (Unofficial)
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Next time: Chapter 70 – The Interdimensional Lost & Found. Where lost socks, forgotten dreams, and alternate timelines all go when you press 'Skip Cutscene'.