— — — — — — —
"You guys... Hmph!"
Pirate Renzo knew he had lost this round. He snorted, crossed his arms, and sneered at everyone except Apocalypse Renzo, who was clearly the biggest winner in life. "And what about you guys? Are you any better than me? None of you have girlfriends either!"
"Hey, hey!"
Uchiha Renzo immediately protested. "I have someone who likes me! Kurenai has always liked me! Our relationship is going pretty well, I'd say!"
In fact, quite a few girls in his class liked him.
Even within the Uchiha clan, he was quite popular.
After all, being the most handsome Uchiha wasn't just an empty title.
"Ha!"
Pirate Renzo let out a cold laugh. "Oh really? Because from what I can see, things haven't progressed much in the past six months."
"Your future father-in-law is also your squad leader—doesn't that make things tough? Plus, you've got a love rival in your own squad who's always hovering around like a third wheel. I'd say you're not much better off than me!"
Not to mention, it's still uncertain whether things will work out at all!
Asuma is right there, causing trouble. And Kurenai's dad, Yūhi Shinku, is a hardcore overprotective father.
Trying to win over Kurenai right under his watchful eye?
Yeah, good luck with that.
"I've held Kurenai's hand! And more than once!" Uchiha Renzo slammed the table in defiance.
Pirate Renzo roared, "But you haven't made it official!"
Uchiha Renzo smirked. "Kurenai kissed me."
Pirate Renzo was furious. "T-That was just on the cheek! It doesn't count!"
Uchiha Renzo shrugged dismissively. "Tch..."
He had no interest in arguing with someone who was just talking big.
"Hmph!"
Pirate Renzo, ignoring Uchiha Renzo, turned his gaze toward Eevee.
"I advise you to be kind," Eevee warned, its psychic energy surging as it spoke in a cold voice.
If Pirate Renzo dared to bring up its weaknesses, it would personally teach him a lesson.
"Uh..."
Pirate Renzo twitched slightly and quickly turned his gaze to Demon Slayer Renzo instead. He smirked, "And you?—"
Before he could finish, Demon Slayer Renzo slammed the table and shot up.
"What about me?! At least Makomo likes me! And things with Shinobu are going well too! Plus, since I saved Kanae, my relationship with her has improved a lot. I'm doing way better than you!"
His only frustration was that he had no idea how to handle his love life properly. Meanwhile, Newbie Renzo got to openly enjoy a harem, and that just made him jealous.
Pirate Renzo was seething with frustration. "So out of all of us, I'm the one who's the worst off in romance?!"
He was starting to question his entire existence.
"Wait! There's still one more!"
Pirate Renzo suddenly shook his head and turned to his last hope—Swordsman Renzo.
"Uh... You're not seriously trying to call me out, are you?"
Swordsman Renzo blinked in mild surprise at Pirate Renzo's intense stare.
"Ha!"
Then, he smirked mockingly. "Are you seriously that delusional? Have you already forgotten who discovered the hidden rule about not having to share certain memories with our women?"
"I have a wife. I have an adorable daughter. I'm a successful man. Unlike you—who hasn't even held a girl's hand."
Did this guy really think he could mess with him?
Pirate Renzo was light-years away from being on his level.
"So what?"
But instead of being discouraged, Pirate Renzo just grinned slyly and teased, "Then why do I remember seeing in your memories that you tried to take a concubine—only to get your ass handed to you by Sha Man? What about Sun Xiuqing? Did you ever dare bring her home? Heh."
That's right.
Swordsman Renzo's official wife wasn't Sun Xiuqing from the original story—it was Gongsun Lan.
Since he had knowledge of the original plot, he knew the truth about Gongsun Lan's identity and her stunning beauty.
A total goddess.
So, naturally, he made sure to win her over early and married her.
Strong, handsome, and rich—he could do whatever he wanted!
Then, much later, he remembered Sun Xiuqing, the original wife of Ximen Chuixue.
When he helped Lu Xiaofeng, he happened to meet her.
And, unsurprisingly, she got attached to him.
Since he wasn't the original Ximen Chuixue but rather Ximen Renzo, and since Sun Xiuqing had both beauty and a good personality, there was no way he'd let her slip away. So... he took action.
But the moment he tried to bring her home and confess to Gongsun Lan, she absolutely lost it and put him in his place!
Despite his usual icy demeanor, at home, he was totally henpecked.
"Hahaha! That's so true!"
Uchiha Renzo and the others laughed as they turned to look at Swordsman Renzo.
Swordsman Renzo's face darkened. "I-I was just letting my wife have her way out of love! It wasn't fear!"
"Yeah, sure. Do you think we believe that? Heh!"
Pirate Renzo and the others smirked at him.
They all knew each other too well.
Swordsman Renzo huffed and retreated, grumbling, "Just wait until you guys have wives! Then we'll see how different you are from me!"
Women are all the same in the end! All are scary!
He refused to believe the others would have it any easier.
Oh, right. Except for that damn Newbie Renzo.
Damn it 🤬!
"Tch!"
Pirate Renzo scoffed. "Come on, even Zombie Renzo managed to pull it off! If he can do it, I sure as hell can! Hmph!"
He swore that from now on, he would put serious effort into romance.
Kuina, Nami, Robin, Vivi—he wanted them all!
And in the future, he would reign over the Pirate world, kick the Celestial Dragons and the World Government off their thrones, and build a new order under his rule.
"Hey, hey!"
Apocalypse Renzo interrupted with a deadpan look. "What the hell is 'Zombie Renzo'? Call me Apocalypse Renzo! Otherwise, people will think I'm an actual zombie."
Pirate Renzo just shrugged.
With the stuff Apocalypse Renzo had done, he might as well be a zombie! 😄
"But what does any of this have to do with you?" Swordsman Renzo sneered at Pirate Renzo.
Apocalypse Renzo's success was his own business. Meanwhile, Pirate Renzo, the biggest failure in love among them, still had the nerve to act all high and mighty?
"..."
Pirate Renzo fell silent.
"Guys, aren't we getting a little off track?"
Demon Slayer Renzo finally couldn't take it anymore. He pointed at Apocalypse Renzo. "Shouldn't we all be roasting this damn normie instead?"
He was still insanely jealous!
He wanted a wife like Saeko Busujima too!
"Come on, don't say it like that!"
Apocalypse Renzo chuckled. "Saeko and Shizuka are both my true loves! I treat them with all my heart!"
Demon Slayer Renzo rolled his eyes. "Who wouldn't want that? The problem is actually getting the chance!"
"Alright, enough!"
Eevee knocked on the table with its paw. "Stop this nonsense. Let's focus on discussing Newbie's world and what plans we have for him."
That was the real issue here!
"Fine."
The others calmed down and took their seats.
Eevee turned to Apocalypse Renzo. "Based on your memories, your world is a fusion apocalypse setting with 'Highschool of the Dead' and 'Resident Evil' as its main elements, right?"
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