[8:49] [Wednesday]
[16 april 2022]
[Outside the house, infront of the doorstep]
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"It's warm right? " She said. Soft and convincing with a bittersweet smile fidgeting the cigarette dangling between her fingers. Her elbows rested on her knees. Smoke curled around her, rising like a fragile ghost.
She sits on the bench, pushed against the wall behind her. ,the red wall covered her from the world outside. Half her face caught in the dim orange glow of the streetlight.
Slippers and shoes lay haphazardly on the doorstep, their soles worn and covered in dust. With some arranged neatly into the racks of shoes and slippers pushed to the ventilation red wall beside her. The shoes lay untouched, their dust a silent testament to forgotten days
I sat in front of her, leaning against the wall. Covered half my face with my fingers as I inhaled, the cigarette clipped between them. The smoke burned down my throat. My head floated a little. I stared out into the street.
"Yeah. It feels warm," I said, letting the smoke trail from my nose.
"Say, Av..." I began, voice low. "Students at school, even the seniors- they talk about you. Doesn't matter if it's shit or praise, they still talk. They act surprised when they find out you're my sister. Like it's a twist. Like I'm the opposite. What's that about? You got some agenda going on?"
She hunched forward, arms on knees, cigarette dangling. "Sigh... I get what you're saying. But listen- whatever people say, good or bad... it's all true. I'm not a great person. I'm worse than they think. And someday, you'll understand."
I looked at her. exasperated. Tired.
Pathetic.
I scoffed. "How the hell are you so sure? You're a good person. Even if you lash out at us sometimes."
She chuckled quietly. "Maybe in your story, Kal. But not theirs. People see different versions of us. Some change, some stay stuck."
My laugh faded into a soft voice. Unsure. "Is that so? Then... how do you know if you're gonna make it? Like, succeed or whatever. My teachers. man. they don't shut up about you. Say I'm gonna be like you. A legacy or something."
I looked down, arms around my knees. "But I'm not sure of myself, Av. And hearing you talk like that... it just adds to it."
She tilted her head, wearing that thin, worn-out smile. "Why d'you think so?"
"I don't know, sis. For starters. I'm in Class A. That's second tier. You were in M. That's close to S and E. Top of the top. Compared to that... I'm nothing."
She scratched the back of her head. Looked away.
"Kal... it doesn't matter. Honestly. I'm not that smart. People say I am, but they're wrong. I'm just good at following instructions. Memorize. Scribble. Repeat. That's all M-class takes. I can't think beyond that anymore. But you. you're different, bro."
"How am I different?" I muttered. "We're the same. Flesh and blood. Shit, it's a miracle none of us turned out like Dad."
She sighed. Silence fell between us again. We both took slow drags.
"Kal," she said, voice low. "Whatever's going on in your head... just try to believe in yourself. I know it's hard-parents screaming every night, siblings crying, school breathing down your neck, people watching. But none of that defines you."
She paused.
"I've lived through it longer than you. Chose wrong more than once. And I wish- God, I wish- someone had been there for me. But no one was. So I held on. Alone. And I made it this far."
She looked away, eyes heavy.
"But I won't be that person for you. I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself."
Her expression were sorrow.. i couldn't understand why back then.
But.. the next day. She disappears. My mom called for police to search for her everywhere around the neighborhood.
There were no trace of her.
And that was the last time. I see her.
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[10:25 AM]
[Tuesday] [December 15, 2024]
[Outside the Principal's Office]
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Knock knock
I pushed open the principal glass door
"Excuse me.."
"Ah come in" he said softly The principal looks up to me with a warm thin smile. He arranged his files and closes his laptop.
I went and stands before him with the chair arranged side by side infront of me. With him sitting on his.
I clasped my hand together and inhales deeply and exhales.
"Uhm.. I'm hayqal Khairyzan sir.. from class 9A.. ah.. regarding about my parents.. they can't come." I begin speaking,my voice low and respectful
"Ah is that so Why Is that?.." He ask tilting his head to the side resting his chin on his hand. His elbow resting on the table.
"One's at work , one's at prison."
"Oh.. okay okay.. i understand.. uhm. Teacher nad called you here right?" He points a finger at me. He nibbles on his lips
"Yes sir.." i nods slightly
"Okay.. then. I'll get straight to it.. about the case with you and adrien.. the cost for the broken glass billboard will be split into two. You and adrian." He explains.
Split into two?
I hunched forward slightly. "Uhm. Sir may i ask how much does the billboard cost?"
"Originally. Its 90 dollars per one glass. But since it splits into two. It'll be 45 dollar each two of you."
Fucking 45 Dollars!?
My mom ain't even able to pay for my siblings fees let alone this!
"Fo-fourty-five?.." i went silent closing my eyes shut thinking for a solution.
I open my eyes again with a slight soft frown and an awkward smile "Uh.. can i pay you 2 dollars per day?" I asked. My fingers curled despite its skin tearing apart.
"Why?.. wait does your parents even know about this?.." he asked concerned etched across his face.
I looks down. The conversation yesterday we had caused me to miss my opportunity to tell her the details about this case.
"No.. she doesn't.. sir..uhm.. is there anyway i can pay the debt?.. I'm thinking about looking for a part time job.. but I'm still 14.." i asked and explains.
He sigh. His eyes looking away. His fingers tapping against his hands.
A few seconds pass before us before he speaks.
"Say.. your name is hayqal Khairyzan right?.. okay.. uhm.. look don't tell other people about this except your parents- wait no. Don't tell anyone. Keep this a secret.. I'll pay for it. And you promise me one thing." He trails off as he straighten his back and leaned against his chair from a hunched position.
"What is it sir?.." my eyes soften at his words. Eager to listen.
"One. Don't get yourself in trouble and try. As much as possible to be a good student. And two. Pay me when you have the money anytime.. do you understand that hayqal?" He said his voice stern and soft. His face contemplating.
Good student?.. its already one thing that he paid for it.. and he'll accept me paying back when i have the cash.. but be a good student?.. am i even belong to both bad and good categories of students?..
Without thinking much of the promise. I nods firmly "yes sir.."
You might think this episode's simple. Just a talk behind a door. But this is where Kal's life begins to change.
From here on, nothing will be held back. And no, it won't be pleasant.
...