[ I saw a sign that made me shit myself.
It said "Bathroom closed" ]
…
'Hmm? What you doing, Supreme Man?'
[ I am making your work easy. Now you can focus on the fight instead of thinking of a joke at the start. ]
'Wow. And you even got the theme right. I was talking about shit earlier and you shared something like that. Nice.'
[ Don't mention it. ]
'Though, I don't like someone else sharing the jokes for me. I'll let you go this time.'
[ Oh yeah? You are so benevolent, Hero King. Screw that! Focus on the war! ]
'This is not a war, old man. This is…' I swung my swords in the air, taking in the size of the army in front of me. And then I changed my mind.
'Actually, It is a war.'
[ Hah! Don't make me root for the red man, Racis. ]
'My bad. I'll get serious now. I am already serious though. But don't worry, I will get even seriouser. I am pretty sure that's not a real word. I am just talking gibberish right now. And I thin-'
[ Just get on work! What the hell are you doing? ]
Shit. This God getting angry. Can't have that.
'Sorry. I will fight. You go back.'
[ You better. ]
The Supreme Man went silent and I poured all my attention to Malthus and his army.
He was standing just in front of me, only one arm's distance between us.
And that didn't look right.
"This is your fiftieth invasion, right?" I asked.
"Yes. And this is the last planet I wish to acquire. There are other planets too but they don't fit my prospect."
He treating forceful invasion as a real estate business.
However, after hearing Malthus, Sexis raised his hand.
"Did you perhaps also invaded planet Frieza?"
Malthus raised his brow. "Why, yes. But the news of our arrival seemed to have reached that planet. The residents thought that an asteroid was coming towards them hence they ran away. So when I reached there, that planet was empty. It was my easiest colonization."
"You… you.." Sexis trembled.
"What?" I asked.
Then behind me, I saw the fighter Aliens trembling as well.
"What is going on? Frieza was a villain if you don't know so why get angry for it?"
"Human friend," Sexis looked at me. "Planet Frieza was our home."
"No way. Shut up."
"It's true."
"Get out of here."
"We can't. We came here because of it in the first place."
[ It is True. Donald Jump is agreeing as well. ]
'Someone with a name like that can't make me believe a word he says.'
[ He is a God like me. So respect him the same way you respect me. ]
I see. So I shouldn't respect him at all.
'Sure.'
I didn't share my thoughts and decided to believe Sexis.
"So, Alien Friend, what are yo-"
"Wait." Malthus interrupted me.
"What? Don't do something you hate yourself, man."
"Fuck that. Why are you calling him Alien friend and why is he calling you Human friend? You are the Alien king, right?"
"No shit, sherlock."
"Answer me! Did you two fool me?"
"Dude, I told you from the start that I am a Human and he is an Alien. But you were being so gullible to someone who looks like you so you believed him. It was you who said, that for you, I am the Alien. Anyway, hear this once and for all, I am the Hero King and he is the Alien King."
Malthus' eyes widened.
"How dare you bastards lie to me?!"
My face lost all the expressions.
"That's some serious level of gaslighting you are doing here. We didn't lie. You believed whatever shit he came up with to save himself!"
Malthus yanked his head at Sexis.
"You bastard! I trusted you. How ca-"
"Shut up, Malthus."
My brows shot up.
Sexis seemed… different now.
He looked right in the eyes of Malthus, not flinching anymore.
"Because of you, we had to leave our home. Yet, through resilience, we forged another—a haven of our own here in this world. And now, you return. Once, I quailed before you; now, I seethe with unbridled wrath. I shuddered at your presence, but I shudder no more. I shall not permit you to lay claim to what is ours. This time…"
Sexis ripped apart his suit and assumed a stance.
"I will fucking bury you alive."
Silence.
Even the wind stopped blowing.
I never thought I would see the look of a warrior in this world.
But here it is…
[ That's what I call being serious. That's a real King right there. ]
Yeah.
This is one brave ma-
DRIP!
DRIP!
Hmm?
I have heard this sound before.
And so had everyone.
Therefore, their eyes went straight at Sexis's feet.
And as they expected, a puddle of water found its way from Sexis' black pants, dripping on the ground.
"Why did you use the Acid Rain skill again?" Erect asked.
"It is not Acid this time, Human."
Sexis clashed his scythes, sparks flying off.
"This is just rain."
I see.
"So basically, you pissed."
"That's one way to put it."
"I almost called you a brave man."
"You don't know, Human friend. Strength is not the absence of fear. It's the acceptance of it."
"That would have hit hard if not for the constant dripping from your pants. You can stop now, you know."
"I already stopped. That is just residue water."
"Fair enough."
"Oh my Satan." Malthus held his head.
"I swear. I fucking swear. If your idiotic sequences dealt some damage, I would have already been dead. Really, you two are making it so hard for me."
I frowned.
"We're making you hard? Dude, if we lose, just end us. We don't want to be alive after hearing you say that."
"Yeah." Sexis nodded. "He hides his real self behind all that muscle. God, save my beauty."
Malthus closed his eyes.
He jerked his head in the sky and opened them again.
"If you are listening to this, god of this world, then I must tell you, these protectors of your world…"
Malthus tightened his grip on his sword and outright declared our outcome.
"Will die the most gruesome death known to mankind."
Welp, it seems the pacing issues will be solved soon.
The war would finally happen.
Malthus was pissed, literally, by Sexis and figuratively, by me.
And now…
It's Malthus' turn to return the favor.