Here is where you're wrong. Deon has no one but you and me. He doesn't even have himself, and soon, he will only have you. You must be strong when he regains what he once was. He needs my protection, but he needs your guidance more than anything else.
These were Viktoria's words to her daughter, Vierenna. Vierenna pondered these words in her mind as she observed Deon over the past few days. There was no doubt in her mind that Deon was no longer the same Deon she grew up with. But...
'What is going to happen to Deon?'
The same question she had asked years ago returned to confront her with its truth, only in a different form...
'What happened to Deon?'
Vierenna closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. Lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, she felt the night's cold seep into her skin from the open windows. Even her thin, delicate clothing did nothing to help. But Vierenna didn't mind. Like her mother, she had come to love the cold, to enjoy it. Something about it made her feel at ease. She appreciated warmth, but the cold was her comfort zone.
A few hours ago, Vierenna had requested Deon's presence to confront him about her suspicions. Whether they were true or not, she wouldn't do anything to him—one of her silent promises to her mother. But she wanted to know what her mother had hidden from everyone all these years. She wanted to see for herself...
V, I don't have the words to tell you everything. I can't do that. Even words wouldn't be enough for you to understand. When you see with your own eyes, you will understand what I mean. Whether you accept the truth or not, that is up to you. But all I ask is this: give your brother the time he needs. That's all he will need—both of you. One thing to remember: he will always be your baby brother.
Her mother's words echoed in her mind, both now and then, but she couldn't bring herself to ask. Was it foolish of her to think Deon would tell her the truth if she made her curiosity—her suspicions—clear to him? But all that did was make him fear her.
'But... why?'
Vierenna wouldn't deny that she had moments of coldness toward him, but to her, it was justified. Though her mother had warned her indirectly about the change, she was still facing something she didn't understand—neither its beginning nor its end. Her mother hadn't provided the truth, nor had Deon. In fact, he was trying to hide it as much as possible.
She felt anger and injustice. She had all kinds of questions, but the one she cared about most was:
'What happened to my baby brother?'
'Perhaps I haven't confronted him because I don't want to know?'
But Vierenna did want to know the truth. At the same time, she was afraid of it.
'What if I don't understand? What if I don't accept it like Mom thought I would?'
These were the questions that weighed on Vierenna, and rightfully so.
But her mother had insisted that Deon would always be her baby brother. Vierenna believed her words, but what could that truly mean? She still wanted the truth.
In the darkness of her room, Vierenna closed her eyes again, then reopened them, her head turned toward the open windows.
It was a moonless night. Like many other nights this time of the year. Soon, she and Deon would leave for the academy, but even sooner than that, the other youngs would arrive at the castle in preparation for the academy as well. Vierenna wanted to talk to her baby brother before that happened. She didn't want any division between them when they were here. She had her concerns about some of the elders, but she couldn't worry about that now. Her mind was occupied with what had stolen her sleep now and on many nights before.
'What happened to my baby brother?'
She took a deep breath. Though the air was cold, her skin frozen, and the bedsheets felt chilly against her back, she felt hot. She placed a hand on her forehead—surprise! There was the problem. Her forehead was burning, too hot.
'This thinking is doing me no good. Maybe I should take another bath? A cold one!'
Vierenna didn't think twice before finding herself on her feet. She felt a small regret that her room didn't have a private bath, but she had long since stopped caring about such luxuries. The capital was her home now, along with her baby brother, and she had come to love it—especially this past week when her brother had finally begun speaking to her again.
Vierenna grabbed everything she might need for a late-night bath—not much, as she was only doing this to cool her heavy head, not to actually cleanse herself.
She stepped out of her room with light steps. The hallways were dark, but as she moved, dim yellow lights flickered on, unlike the bright white lights that shone at any other time before midnight. Canvas paintings lined the corridor, but Vierenna had memorized them by now, and she already had something to do that demanded her attention.
She pushed the bathroom door open gently, trying not to make a sound in the silence of the night. As she stepped inside, the room came to life with steady white lights embedded throughout, making the white tiles gleam with a blinding sheen.
Vierenna made her way to the shelf section, where she carefully removed her clothes and placed them neatly inside, along with the essentials she had brought.
The air inside the bathroom was cold enough to make her skin tingle, but Vierenna didn't hesitate. She stepped directly under the ceiling-mounted shower.
Without needing to do anything, the first splash of water fell like a small waterfall onto her head—cold and sharp, making her shiver slightly. But she quickly steadied herself, letting the water pour heavily over her hair, then down her face, and onto her shoulders.
She tilted her face up toward the ceiling, closing her eyes, allowing the droplets to strike her burning forehead and cascade down her cheeks. It felt as if she was floating in a small pool of tranquility amidst her chaotic thoughts.
The sound of falling water was soothing to her senses, helping her relax. But the cold stream slowly trailing down her neck, then her back, made her tense muscles gradually unwind.
Vierenna shifted slightly in place, adjusting her position under the stream, letting the water flow freely over her chest and arms, over the areas concealed by the curves of her body. Sometimes, she ran her fingers over her skin to reach such places. Though she refrained as much as necessary—she didn't want this late-night bath to turn into anything more. Her own touch felt like a cold breeze against her body, and that didn't help.
After some time under the cold water, Vierenna felt as if the chill had become part of her. The heat that had weighed down her body was gradually extinguished beneath the stream.
She took a deep breath and stepped out of the cascading water, which halted in her absence. Silence once again filled the bathroom, but it was a comforting silence.
Vierenna approached the nearby shelf where she had placed her belongings. Before drying herself with the hanging towel, she first looked at her reflection in the mirror, now fogged by steam. A narcissistic smile spread across her lips.
Her face looked more radiant, her eyes calmer—everything about her body was perfect, taut with precise symmetry, yet without losing its softness.
"Much better," she whispered to herself, referring to both her body and her mood. Not that the two contradicted each other. Her body was a mood boost in itself—her baby brother thought so, at least. Or why else would he seek her out?
Though Vierenna's teasing of Deon was often extreme, it was rooted in truth. She knew Deon harbored suppressed feelings toward her—her soul sense told her as much. But she didn't need her intuition to confirm it; he had always been obvious about it—or at least he had been.
Lately, Deon had been far too reserved with her. The fact that he had accepted her constant reference to him as "my baby brother" was warning enough. He had always flared up in anger at any mention of it—he hated being called that, even though he didn't mind it from their mother.
His constant complaints and his relentless demands for duels had also disappeared along with his change in behavior. It would have been easy to attribute it to the trauma he had suffered the day he awakened, but as the days passed, even that theory no longer held.
Even though the current Deon still harbored suppressed feelings for her, they felt… newly built. As if they had been constructed in their recent time together, rather than something he had carried for years before. It was somewhat refreshing compared to the brother who was always pushing against her, but she had also come to miss that.
A memory from over three months ago surfaced in her mind, and that alone was enough to sour Vierenna's mood drastically.
In the reflection before her, her brows furrowed deeply, her teeth clenched down on her lips hard enough to nearly break the skin. But worse than that—her forehead's heat threatened to return.
Vierenna slapped her own face hard, her head whipping to the side. Then she did it again on the other side to balance it out.
She returned under the concentrated stream of water, letting it pour over her face for a full minute. Strands of her white hair fell over her eyes, hiding both her expression and her thoughts.
When she finally stepped out again, her expression had returned to neutrality, her thoughts under control.
She stood in front of the mirror once more, but she didn't linger. It was only to lift her mood by taking in her flawless reflection. Once she achieved the desired effect, she dried herself with the towel before slipping back into her light nightwear.
She picked up her belongings—which, in the end, she hadn't even used—from the shelf and left the bathroom behind, water droplets still slowly trickling down her body and hair.
Apparently, she hadn't done a good job drying herself.
And there was a good reason for that.