Merianth's point of view
Late at night, while other people fall asleep in their cozy bedrooms, Merianth just finished her bath session for the day by herself as usual.
The bathroom was huge, fit for ten or more people at the same time. It is because the design follows the customs of the people in this city, who always bathe together while gossiping or simply chatting. Yet Merianth always came here alone and sometimes just with her only child, because she doesn't fit well with the other people in this mansion, isolating her even more.
She like a shadow behind the world, her appearance unnoticeable, and the other people always avoided her after they knew her past. But lately, she senses warmth inside her heart when talking to someone new in this mansion, someone who is not avoiding her like the other.
Her gaze and focus were always drawn to him, no matter her surroundings, talking about her. She wanted his attention so badly that she even made herself dress in thin layered clothes and teased him to see his reaction. Even though she knew it had happened inside her mind. Hesitation remains inside her heart.
"Is this true love or just lust? Will he accept me no matter my past, or just leave me like the other people?"
This question always shouted in her mind, making her stuck in place.
Warm steam surrounds her body as she walks out of the bathroom. The water flows from her brown, wet, moist hair to her shoulder before getting absorbed by the thin towel that covers her body. Her beautiful brown eyes reflected the candlelight in a long hallway, shining like a star in the night sky.
She walked to her room alone, and each step she made left a watery footstep on the floor. With dirty clothes in her hands, she remained focused on the surrounding area to make sure there were no people following her.
Her footsteps were silent, blending into the stillness of the mansion. She is like a ghost, unnoticed, but can easily catch her prey.
As she walked along the hallway, a several female voice was heard from nearby. She takes a step closer to the source of the sounds while hiding her body behind the wall, and listens to it carefully.
"Merianth wears her thin clothes today, it's shameless."
"She is a whore and tried to sell her body like her past."
Those words—it's not the first time for her, but still, it pierces like a needle against her solid rock heart. Merianth bit her lips as her hands held the laundry tightly, trying to bear what they said like before. She proceeded to walk away, leaving them and their words, when suddenly.
"Is she teasing you like the other said, Mr. Kagayama?"
The person she's been secretly loving all of this time mentioned in their word.
She stopped immediately, frozen in place. Her body wanted to hear the next words from them, especially from the Kagayama.
The place became silent for a second before he said.
"...Yes, she has been teasing me this day, and it makes me uncomfortable."
His words struck like a bullet that easily destroyed Meriant's heart until her eyes became wet.
"Am I..stupid?" She thought.
Her tears flow slowly, unbearably. Her past appears again. The kids she raised by herself. The judge of the other servant. And now…The person she had loved felt uncomfortable by her presence.
"A servant like me..with those past lives..I must have known that it was impossible for the first time I met him, but why did I still chase him after all?"
She knows that it was a stupid idea to fall in love with him. All of her life was not even worthy of having someone who loves her. It feels so dark, it feels so heavy, it was too painful for her to bear by herself, but the other people left her behind, alone, just her and her child, with no one to lean on.
She cried in silence, no one could hear her voice. It was over for her, yet she could not move a single muscle from there. It was breaking her entire hope.
As she was stunned inside her sadness, Kagayama spoke again to them.
"But it was her unique personality…it makes her appearance more attractive than before."
"Ehh-"
"Re-realy? You said that was attractive?"
Her heartbeat was uncontrollable for a second as his words came to her ears like a good message. The sadness, regret, and the memories around her suddenly disappeared because the winds of relief brought them away from her.
The waterfall tears remain flowing no matter the season, but it was for another reason. Merianth let her chuckle slip from her mouth as her face became happier and redder. She can feel her hands trembling as she tries to wipe her hair.
She watching the dark hallway, murmuring slowly as her body leaned against the nearby wall, wanting to hear his compliment again.
"Would you take me even more and make yourself the new fragment for me, Mr. Kagayama?"
Merianth ended up eavesdropping on their entire conversation until the servant surrendered and left Kagayama alone. As there was no one near her beloved one, she started thinking of teasing him like she did before, but she chose to let him go for this time.
-The next morning-
Sunlight poured into her room, making the entire stuff become visible. On the bed, her child was drowning in the sea of dreams deeply, and she couldn't help except wake her up gently before it was too late.
She wore her servant uniform, adjusting each side of it while seeing her beautiful appearance in the mirror. Turned her body several times, checking her usual outfit like she always does all year.
It was her normal routine, but today something seemed different; her expression was filled with joy and hope. Her usual heaviness went extinct, replaced by her affectionate smile. She ties her hair in a bun now—only because the one she longs for seems to adore it.
The spring has come into her life, making her child watch her in confusion, as this rarely happened. Her adorable face was locked on her mother with a puzzled look.
"Is there something happened to you, Mama?"
"I guess I'm just a little excited, my love," she whispered, running her fingers tenderly through her child's hair.
"Then, what makes you feel excited?" her eyes full of excitement.
"Just someone I love so much, like you."
She can imagine Kagayama in his uniform, waiting for her somewhere with a smile on his face.